You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

She’s texting him her heart. But she’s got the wrong number… When Isabel “El” Watson applied for a sales job with her company, she had no idea a jelly donut would explode on her blouse, or that her grumpy boss would practically laugh her out of the interview. Accountants could be salespeople, she was sure of it, even if that jerkface didn’t think so. So when a lady at the local wine festival offers her a sales job on the spot at a new boutique winery, El jumps at the chance. She also jumps at the chance to text with the guy who danced with her at the festival. Life was finally looking up. Boston’s friend, Chad, never should have given Boston’s number to the girl at the wine festival as a joke, but the damage was done. When El sends Boston a text later that night, believing he is Chad, he’s too nice to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. But there are a few other truths Boston might have thought about: Truth #1: He’s her boss Truth #2: She just accepted a job at his mother’s new winery Truth #3: He’s always had a crush on her Even though Boston is no longer El’s grumpy boss, they still work together at his mom’s winery. And while sparks are flying as they get to know each other for real, El’s kind of sweet on the guy who always seems to know just what to say via text too. Obviously, things will come to a head. Will Boston come clean about the flirty texts being from him? Or will El figure out on her own that she’s been Texting With the Enemy?

These young girls are overwhelmed by complicated society, human relations, and accidents. What they faced are not only relationships but also the cruelty of the adult world. There are so many scumbags. Their boyfriends, husbands, and even their fathers may harm them. What should they do to survive? See how these young women will fight back. “I Am a Scorpio” Mark Yeager sent my private photos to his buddy. [Doesn't my girlfriend have a good figure?] The words were followed by two smug-looking emojis. His buddy replied: [I prefer women with flat chests.] I felt disgusted reading the message. Mark shrugged indifferently. "You are all women. Why are you afraid of her seeing your photo?" Yes, his buddy was a woman. I felt like an unreasonable and resentful woman. I had had enough. It was not something a Scorpio like me would do. This time, I did not want to put up with them anymore. “The Kiss of Karma” He blocked me with a fierce look and said, "So... Does what you said about being with me still hold up?" "Of course." I hugged Yorrance Sonic. "I really like you." I heard something falling to the ground with a bang as Yorrance waved to someone behind me. "Mom!" I turned around and saw my husband holding hands with a woman, whom Yorrance called "mom".

The newly hired genius programmer was a proud woman who always thought she could turn the entire industry on its head. When an investor tried to pressure her into drinking, she flipped the table and slapped him across the face. "My worth is in my programming skills, not my ability to network. Asking me to drink with you is an insult." Enraged, Clint Warner immediately withdrew the eighty-million investment agreement. He even swore he would never work with us again. As the Head of Product, I scrambled to apologize. The situation was only salvaged after I drank so much that I ended up hospitalized. … Later, I complained to the boss and demanded that he discipline the new hire. To my shock, he dismissed the matter. "If the employee causes any problem, it's because the supervisor failed in their duty. The promised million-dollar dividend bonus is cancelled. Take this as your warning." Fed up, I wrote down Mary Hansen's name on the Counseling-Out List. She couldn't care less. "I have abilities you’ll never match, unlike a scheming bootlicker like you. If anyone tries to go after me, the project will be halted. Don't come crying to me when everything collapses." I did not argue with her then. However, when the Counseling-Out List was announced, I found my own name on it. The boss claimed it was a mistake to force me to leave. Then he promoted Mary to my position and even granted her the authority of a vice president. "You were only great because of the company's support. Mary's not the same. She's young and truly talented. She’ll lead us to greater heights." With a cold smirk on my face, I made my way to our competitor, taking the crucial piece of our company's technology with me.

My husband, Gavin Chapman, is giving his secretary, Natasha Gardner, exactly what she wants. He's making her his wife. To pull it off, he fakes a lab accident, pretends to have amnesia, and brings her home. In his office, Gavin wraps his arms around Natasha and murmurs indulgently, "Not just Mrs. Chapman. Even if you want to pretend to be the vice president for a week, I'll let you." My eyes dim, but I let the lie go on. The next day, at a press conference, Gavin holds Natasha's hand and tells the world she's his real wife. He even threatens to kick me out of the company and take over all my research data. Dozens of cameras swivel toward me, waiting for my outburst. But I stay silent and simply sign the termination papers. Gavin doesn't know that the pharmaceutical project he believes will be done in seven days isn't quite finished. There's still one final step, and I'm the only one who knows how to do it.

Dancing gracefully inside a palace filled with shimmering lights, smiles were curved with sweetness. Music of euphonious romance makes her darn heartbeats thump faster than usual. Sapphire can't see anything but happiness and fulfilment. After the struggles and all, she wants to hug Cupid and shout that this is a dream come true! Sapphire feels like she won't wish for anything anymore, her fairytale-like dream love story is somehow slowly coming into life in the arm of the only prince she ever dreamed about. But an explosion happened and her world came crushing next. Revelations are pouring down like rain and she doesn't know where to find shield to keep sane, everything is making her crazy which sooner made her the rebellious woman she is...

All it took was one bad decision, one too many glasses of , one tight fitting dress, one muscular hottie and just one night to turn Gianni's imperfect but planned out life up side down. "Lets take this back to the hotel before I bend you over this table and bang you hard for the world to see" his rich, smooth but strong and commanding voice fill my ears, his minty breath fanning my face. So , I giggle and nod frantically unable to even function." Elijah Russo had everything growing up, he need not work a day in his life, but that wasn't enough, he had to run the world and so he made it his life mission to get any and everything almost impossible to have, his. He's a lady's man, he has the body, the brains and he definitely has that junk in the trunk. He's heartless and doesn't do the same woman twice. Gianni Summers hasn't had the best of life so typically she sets out to make sure she has one of the best futures. No parents,no family alone in the world, no one to depend on but herself,she has to make something out of her life. Studying for three years without break and working two day jobs. She just has no time for love and games all is work and no . So what happens when she finds herself and knows nothing about her baby daddy other than his name, Elijah.

Donovan Du Pont is not your typical rich boy toy from a wealthy family. He has big dreams and goals with his life. What he wants most of all is to break away from the mundane everday uptight lifestyle he has grown up in. Everyday it's piano lessons, dance classes, tutoring in the highest mathematics, sciences, language arts, and more. His family counts on him to carry on their legacy and get into John Hopkins to become a world-renowned surgeon. But what happens when you add in you add falling for the unattainable? What happens when the ones you trust the most cut you deepest. Some pains you never get over and you never see coming.

I'm an heiress who's been bound to a gossip system. Everyone reads my mind on my first day back home after being reunited with my family. "Mom sure has done a good job of maintaining her beauty. It's no wonder she became an OnlyFans streamer after divorcing Dad." My mother is about to berate me for something, but she pales and stops when she hears my thoughts. I glance at the fake heiress, who's weeping pitifully. "My, she's pregnant. Is it John's or Zach's?" My two brothers exchange odd looks. Then, my father arrives. I cluck my tongue. "Oh, it's Dad's."

We Are One Fantasy Romance Banished from the underworld and stripped of her place among her kind, Anika wanders the mortal realm alone—haunted, hunted, and broken. When Olivia, the mate of the reigning Alpha and a seer with a gift for prophecy, has a vision of a mysterious young woman cloaked in sorrow, fate begins to stir. One fateful night, their paths cross, and Olivia brings the wounded stranger into her home. Corbin, Olivia’s son and heir to the Alpha title, senses something ancient and undeniable the moment he meets Anika: she is his destined mate. But Anika carries dark secrets, scars from a past that threaten both her future and his pack. As their bond deepens, Corbin and Anika must navigate the politics of pack life, confront the dangers of Anika’s origin, and face a destiny that demands unity of body, heart, and soul. In a world where strength is tested and loyalty is earned, love may be the most powerful force of all. Together, they must rise. Together, they are one.

When sincere love ends up in betrayal, can love be found again unexpectedly? Anaya's world topples when she sees her fiance proposing to another woman. Shattered and devastated