You Re So Skinny Jokes

Elijah Morris has been fooling around for four out of the five years we've been married. And from the very first month, he openly betrays me. Meanwhile, I spend my time warding people off with expensive contracts, one after another. Eventually, all that's left between us is constant fighting. One day, his younger stepsister, Abigail Wright, returns. And just like that, he finally settles down. That's when the system tells me that I can finally go home. For the next five days, I no longer ask about his schedule. I don't care if he is with Abigail, nor do I care if she is pregnant with his child. I even move out of the master bedroom myself, listening to them going at it all night. The fifth day after Abigail's return is our wedding anniversary. Elijah bursts into the room, tears up our marriage certificate in front of me, and smashes my most treasured vase into pieces. He grips my throat tightly and growls, "Why did you put mango in Abby's cake? She's allergic, and she almost died! How could you be so cruel?" For the first time, I don't argue with him. Instead, I go along with his accusations. "So what?" I then pick up a shard from the broken vase on the floor under his disbelieving gaze. Then, I draw it across my artery. Just like that, I end my life in this world.

Scarlett Rossi had felt nothing but devotion to Alexander Wolfe from the moment she met him but all he had ever seen her as was just a little girl that was never worth his attention. Now, years later, they are being forced to marry and he can't help but feel his attraction grow with every second he passes. Except he had broken her heart when she was younger and this time, has it guarded with iron walls. Would he be able to break through it and fill her with the love she deserves, or would this end in the most catastrophic way possible?

Ciara Lewis suffered an indescribable pain in her heart when her parents broke her soul into a million pieces. They promised to go with her every step of the way but ended up imposing the worst pain she could ever imagine. Her father abandoned them to be with his mistress, the reason her mother suffered depression and took her own life. At the thought that she couldn’t move forward, she found a light with the help of Zachary Denver Ford. An intelligent guy and blessed with so many opportunities. Ciara and Denver fell in love and were undoubtedly happy in their relationship. Ciara thought the heavens had sent Denver to cover up the pain she endured in her heart, but she was wrong.  Denver got bumped between her and a massive opportunity that could offer them the best future. When he chased his dreams, Ciara felt rejected and her life went upside down. Denver promised to win her back, but EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED to the extent that he wished he had never left.

I love you so much till my eyes and heart don't want to open up to my circumstances. The state where you are the only one and I am one of you. I don’t care even if your common sense tells me to leave you. I still endure, with my character that has less trust in you. Whether my suspicion in excessive or you who really don’t put me first, you choose to leave, keep your heart away from me, throw away your feelings that you used to convey to me, then you act like we were never there before.

Opportunist-ganito ang tingin ng half brother ng fiancé niya kay Raquel. At para maiwasan ang lalaking gustong sirain ang nalalapit niyang kasal, pumunta siya sa San Ruiz. Doon niya nakilala si Drake, ang lalaking inakusahan niya ng akyat-bahay. Hindi maitatanggi ni Raquel ang atraksyong nararamdaman para kay Drake. Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili na mahalin ang lalaki kahit na ito ay isang pagkakamali. Nang lumipad palabas ng bansa si Drake ay nangako ito sa kanya na babalik. Pero hindi nito tinupad ang pangako sa kanya. Bumalik siya ng Maynila at handang magtapat sa fiancé niya tungkol sa kasalanang nagawa nang muling magkrus ang landas nila ni Drake. Nalaman niyang may kinalaman ito sa taong gustong sirain ang pangarap niya.

Warning: 18+ only. Featuring hardcore taboo and age-gap erotica. This is an erotic boxset containing yet another twelve stories of irresistible steam, steam, fun, and naughty stories. If you're not up to eighteen, this book is not for you. Get ready to be intrigued. To feel. To...burn. --------- "You think I'm a softie?" My voice is deceptively gentle when the rest of me is so hard. "Do you know why I pulled over?" "Why?" she says, seeming to hold her breath. "I pulled over because I know tight pussy when I see it." I frame her jaw with my right hand, tilting her blushing face up toward mine. "I'd like to fuck you on all fours, right here in the middle of the road, little girl. Rough as you can stand. Still think I'm a softie?" "No," she gasps, the green of her eyes deepening to a forest shade. "I don't." "Good."

Fake it 'til you make it has been the motto I live by since my mother died. I'm also doing a really bad job at the making it part. The night we met, I was at my lowest. But you gave me a reason to feel happy again. For the first time in over a year, I was optimistic. You and I? We're the same. Don't form attachments. Follow the rules. Don't dream of a future. Too bad our hearts wouldn't listen. And this storm we're going through? The one that threatens to rip us apart? It doesn't care that I'm falling for you. Falling for You is created by Jennifer Van Wyk, an eGlobal Creative Publishing author.

"Do you miss me Bella...mia" She could recognize that voice even in her sleep. She stood frozen looking at him with wide eyes. "W..what.." she tried speaking but immediately closed her mouth breathing hard. She glared at him HARD while a handsome smirk appeared on his face. "What the hell are you doing in my house?!" she said,his eyes moving across her body especially on her exposed legs. He suddenly stood on his feet and she moved back, his presence affecting her. "What happened to your elbow" he asked. That was actually the first thing he noticed when she stepped out of the bathroom with a red towel wrapped around her tiny frame. "Why should I tell you that. I owe you no explanation" She said feeling uncomfortable under his scrutinized gaze. He took three long strides towards her before pinning her to the wall, his hot breath fanning her neck. Lexi could feel her heart pounding in her chest as her eyes met his ocean blue eyes. She hates to deny it but he grew much more handsome than before. A slow smirk appeared on his lips as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Lexi shook, trying to push him off but he stood gallantly like a statue, his height towering above her. " Let me ..go.. now" her voice hoarse. " I hate repeating myself Lexi. You might wanna start talking" Lexi Thompson, a retired cop, is trapped in a toxic game of cat and mouse with Antonio Saint Claire, a ruthless mafia kingpin. Lexi Thompson thought she'd escaped Antonio Saint Claire's toxic grasp but his obsession runs deep. Now she must play by his rules to preserve her sanity. Will she find a way to break free, or will their twisted love consume them both ?.

Haunted by his own actions that led to a tragic accident claiming his best friend's life, Prince Maximillian embraces a reckless lifestyle, burdened by remorse, and is compelled to return home. Frustrated by his parents' concerns, he writes a farewell letter, intending to live as a commoner. However, his self-destructive plans change unexpectedly when he meets Edwina, or Eddie, a woman defying societal norms by dressing and behaving like a man. Enchanted by her confidence and wit, he falls in love. His attempts to win her over are thwarted by her devoted friend who desires her for himself, a persistent princess, and Edwina's determination to maintain her unique identity as her father's "son."

Alva has been arranged to get married to Lucas, the young heir to the Rossi Empire. On the day that has been arranged for her engagement, Lucas changes his mind, choosing to marry her timid, less attractive servant and throwing the family into chaos. Lucas Rossi is the, strikingly handsome, yet intimidating heir to the Rossi Empire. A man barely seen, completely avoidant of the paparazzi and with rumours spreading here and there about how he is only half human, yet no one can tell what the other half of him is. When he agrees to marry the politician's daughter in paper alone for the sake of business bonds, he is astounded by his sudden pull to the Hazel, whose life is turned upside down when she catches his attention instead. Why has he left the ethereal looking heiress to settle for a mere maid?