Delightful Agony
Delightful Agony
Author: PitchdarkqueenKleyr


Third Person's Point of View

Life is hard to understand. There's really a time that you will feel happy and complete. But that moment will just remind you that every happiness will end up being sad. Doing the right thing for someone else means doing something that feels wrong to you but I guess that's just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up. We cannot avoid making mistakes and that what makes us humans. We make mistakes because there is something we need to learn. Sadness exists. Mistakes happen. It is already a parcel of our life. It is human nature, but the good thing about making mistakes is that we get lessons from it. Through those learnings, we become a better person. 

Kathrina Deveraux and Redxan Silhouette met unexpectedly. They tend to play each other's feelings actually. But instead, they fell in love so deeply. They didn't even notice that they will have a relationship like this. They didn't know that there's a relationship that started being odd to being madly in love. They've been together for almost three years and four months.

They're really happy and contented with each other. They take their relationship seriously and unbreakable. They are actually the best-matured relationship that everyone knew. They have what every couple dreamed of. They are really perfectly destined for each other. But not all perfect fairy tale just ends up neither sad nor happy. Some perfect tale ends up between sadness and happiness. A happy tragic ending.


" ... Yes, you're right! Sorry to say but I'm tired of this relationship. I'm loathed. And I don't love you anymore! "

" But remember, in the first place, I'm the one who wants to rest this relationship while you still want us to be fixed? But why everything changed upside down? Why you suddenly want to get some rest too? It's really unexpected. I don't know why. All I know is things happened too fast. I'm confused about why this suddenly happened. I just thought that I'm the only one who's asking for a rest but suddenly you want it too. "

All I asked him is just a little space. I'm just tired. All I want is just to get some rest.

But maybe he really doesn't want rest, instead, he wants someone else.

" That's the thing that I'm confused about. You want me in the first place when I become cold. But why you also want it? Why you suddenly get tired? What's the reason why you get tired? Is it because of my complaints? My demands? I don't understand ... "

" I don't know! I don't know why I suddenly feel this and why this suddenly happened. "

They said that the best things happen unexpectedly. I, therefore, conclude now that not everyone is true. Not everything is true nor fake. Instead, Life together with love is between good and bad. I just see this neither nor the two choices.

" I don't really know the reason why I felt this. This just happened. I don't know! "

" I really think that I don't lack anything to you, even a little. I gave everything to you. I've done everything for you! What else? I didn't lack anything. "

" I know! I know that you gave and done everything for me. I know! I saw that! I felt that! I appreciated that. That's why this is not your fault. It's my fault! "

" Maybe you just miss the old things you can do before? I mean maybe you just wanted to try something new. Aren't you? "

" No! It's not that "

" I love you! I really do! But I don't want you to come back because you just pity me. I look happy in front of them and that's what you see. I'm doing that because I don't want to look like I'm chasing you to come back. That I'm the victim! I don't want to look like a fool in front of everyone. I just don't want you to come back because you just pity me. I want you to come back because you, yourself, wanted to come back and because you love me. Please don't tell in front of them and without having a second thought that you will not come back to me anymore. Don't shout it out! Tell it to yourself! Don't shout it out! You know why? Because I look like I'm the one who loses. "

I explained to him briefly.

" I still want you. But I don't want you to want me just because I want you. And I will wait for that moment. I will not expect but I will wait for it, Red! I'll wait! "

I added.

" Just let ourselves be free Katia. Just make your own decision and I'll respect it. I'll make mine and please respect it too! Let just be true to ourselves. "

He simply said.

" I hope even you are tired, you will still let me love you. I don-- * sigh * But when I became tired before? I didn't turn you away. All I do is to understand your situation! I understand because I really love you but why? Why you can't do the same? You're just tired right? But you still love me. Maybe we can still work? We can fix this! Trust me! Let's start over again! Please. "

I begged for a thousand times.

" Sorry! I just can't do it anymore! "

Fuck those words! He promised to me! He promised me to love me for better and for worst but why it seems that he just loves me when everything is convenient?

" Sorry! I really don't want us together anymore! It will be hard if I hold on even I really don't want to, right? "

I'm starting to watch him slip through my hands.

" You have done nothing wrong! I told you! It's not you're fault! It's mine! Don't blame yourself. Don't ask yourself what have you done because you've done so perfectly! You've done so well! "

" How about us? Do we really remain as memories? Just a memory? Do we really need to throw it away? "

I asked.

" No! Why will we throw that away? It's a memory and I'll treasure it forever. "

He said.

" Maybe everything happens because everyone has feelings. Maybe everything happened for a reason. Or maybe this happened because the only thing that is permanent in this world is change. People change. Feeling fades. But life must go on Kathrina! "

He's right! No one stays. People will always leave. So don't get too attached.


" Thanks because you came into my life. When you came he realized something. He figured something. He's fixing himself and trying to fix our relationship too. If not because of you, he will not come back. "

" ... Thanks for the temporary happiness. "


Their story will help us to understand that not every heartbreak our quite tragic. Some heartbreaks, like theirs, are difficult to identify. They've talk deeply as they realized each other's faults. And they've gathered around and talked about happy thoughts.

Their story reminds us that some memories are maybe asleep. Dreaming about something else while temporarily forgetting the real one. But does that sleeping memories will going to be awake soon? Having the same memories they've made and collected? Will they still want to go back in the time when they don't have to worry about their hearts get broken? Is their relationship is really over even there's nothing wrong with it? Will they let go, not because they don't want each other but because they want to free themselves? Is this really the Epilogue of their story? Or will they make another chapter together?

"I realized that it's not really a tragic heartbreak. Instead, it's a sacrifice. You may be found someone else, but at least we fulfilled our dreams. The only difference is not together, but with someone else's feather. Everything is going to be okay soon. And I will wait for that moment. I'm happy that we made this far. But maybe this is really how every happy heartbreak ends. Every book story has its last page. And maybe this is our last page. The last flip. The last obstacle. The last pain. The Delightful Agony."  -Kathrina "Katia" Deveraux

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