The trouble

>> Maya

I reached my dorm and shut the door behind me while panting like a dog.

Slowly I slipped down against the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I gulped down my own saliva in an attempt to calm my dry throat.

Obviously, at this point in the night, I was not going to find any bus and I had no money to spare for a taxi or uber so I ran all the way back.

I’m out of breath and out of strength but! I touched my lips with trembling hands.

The feeling was still there.

That sense of desire.

Those lips against mine. The feeling of wanting more.

That feeling of bliss and attraction.

It drew me in so much that I would have gone further.

I shuddered and shook my head.

I can’t!

No!

Not me.

The image of that beautiful man flashed before my eyes again.

How can someone be so beautiful?

He had white hair but it looked so natural on him like that’s how he was born. His eyes felt so sharp but when he looked at me it was as if they were the kindest ones.

I shook my head again and looked at my right hand, on the ring finger. The ring of promise I wore made me come back to reality.

I sighed. My heart beat began to stabilize.

It’s fine.

It was just a kiss and a one-time thing.

It’s not like I’ll be meeting Ruda’s brother again. 

I took a deep breath and placed my fingers on my lips again and then stared out of the window at the cloudless sky.

But no matter what, I can’t deny the fact that the kiss was too good.

I guess one could say it was, sensual.

I placed my hand on my chest and stood up, walked to my bed, and crashed on top of the covers.

I tried sleeping but couldn’t.

I wonder why I can’t stop thinking about him.

Come to think of it. I don’t even know his name.

He looked like a model… Especially under the moonlight, his features felt so magical.

This time I slapped myself. I had to because I just couldn’t bring myself to reality.

I took a deep breath and looked at my ring and reminded myself of the things that mattered more.

“That’s right.” I whispered to myself, “There are many things that I need to do. So many things that are so important, way more important than a random beautiful person I met one night.”

I have to make a future for myself first. I managed to make it to university, I can’t waste my time on useless stuff.

Right at this moment, I have everything I need.

After giving myself enough counseling I drifted into sleep.

***

I took a deep breath as I entered the lecture hall. Throughout the weekend I didn’t talk or chat with Ruda. Strangely enough, he didn’t make any attempts to call or text me either.

I wonder if his brother told him what happened?

But well I’m sort of glad I didn’t really have to talk to him. I calmed down over the weekend.

I looked around and saw Ruda sitting at the back of the lecture hall. The moment he saw me he waved his hands and called me over.

I smiled and walked over to him and sat down right next to him.

“How was your weekend?” He asked.

“Normal. You didn’t text me at all even though you usually blast my phone with messages.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, I was-um- busy?”

“Why is that a question?”

“I don’t know?”

I elbowed him, “Idiot.”

He chuckled again and then placed his arms on the long desk in front of us, “Hey?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you think of my brother?”

“What!!?” His question caught me off guard, “What’s that supposed to mean?” I averted my eyes, “He’s your brother.”

“Yes. That’s why I’m asking. What do you think of him?”

I didn’t look at him, “He’s your brother. That’s all I think.” I lied to him. I don’t know what I really think of him. It was so hard forgetting that kiss we shared and the first thing he brings up is his brother! 

“That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

“That’s not right…” He whispered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I heard him.

“Oh! Nothing.” He laughed nervously, “I guess Yohan will be very disappointed to know that.”

“Yohan? Your brother?” He nodded, “Why would he be disappointed?”

“Uh- well, he found you quite charming.”

My cheeks flushed immediately, “What?” My voice was lower than usual but it wasn’t a whisper.

Ruda noticed my reaction and smirked, “Oh~ It seems you have taken a liking to him.”

“No!” I strongly denied it, “I have not!” I slammed my hand on the table, “There is no way I would ever fall for another man!”

His eyes traveled to the ring on my finger.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” He looked me in the eyes, “Are you dating someone?”

I looked away, “That’s none of your business, is it?”

“Yeah, right.” He sulked, “I’m not really your friend, am I?”

He was making me feel guilty, “Ruda… It’s not like that.” He turned his head away and ignored me. I bit my lower lip and quiet down as well.

I didn’t want him to be angry with me but at the same time I didn’t want to talk about the topic.

This was the very first time neither of us made an effort to talk to each other again. It felt strange but in the end we both took all our lectures quietly.

In the last lecture which I took alone because Ruda didn’t pick up psychology, there was an announcement by the university delivered by the teachers.

“Be sure to read the notice display on the portal everyone. It’s very important, especially for the scholarship students.” The teacher concluded her lecture with the announcement, “If anyone has any inquiries you can come to me or any supervisor.” She then left the class.

It’s important for scholarship students?

I fished out my phone from my bag while most of the students began to leave the lecture hall.

I opened the university portal and went to the news announcement, but the moment I read it my hands began to shake.

The announcement stated, ‘All the scholarship students living in the dorms will have their dorm scholarship removed. Starting this month all students will pay their dorm dues equally. The reason for such an action is that there will be more students the university will fund for education with scholarships.”

What?

What’s that even supposed to mean?! I mean I know what it means! But why all of the sudden?! I don’t have enough money to pay for my dorm! If I start paying for my dorm I’ll be out of money before I graduate!

What kind of cruel joke is this!!

I picked up my bag and ran towards the teachers' office. 

I was thinking that some sort of miracle would save me, that they would make an exception for students like me but I thought wrong.

“I’m sorry kid.” The student affairs supervisor said, “There can’t be any exceptions, especially for a student like you.”

“A student like me?”

He sighed, “You already know.” He looked at me, “You have a criminal record. Even if they decide to make an exception for a student or two, it will never be you.”

His words stung but I fought back my emotions and clenched my fists.

“Yes sir.” I gave him a slight bow and left the office.

I trudged my way back to the dorm room.

What now?

If I start part-time to earn I won’t have any time to study. I’ll lose my scholarship altogether.

I sat down on the bed.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Getting in college that is.

I sighed. I want to complete my degree…

I guess I’ll have to live under the bridge again… I bit my thumbnail in anxiety.

Or maybe I can find someplace that takes in people that have nowhere to go. I immediately opened my phone and started looking for a place but found nothing.

The one place that did offer such a luxury was for kids.

I looked at myself in the mirror. 

I don’t look like a kid from anywhere.

I sighed and quietly began to pack my things.

***

“Hey.” Ruda called out to me during class but I remained focused on the lecture, “Hey I’m sorry.” He apologized, “You haven’t talked to me in days since I asked you that question.” He moved in closer, “I’m sorry, Please.”

I turned my head to him and gave him a smile, “I’m not mad at you.”

He looked into my eyes, “You look worn out.” He stated the fact when he finally got a good look at my face, “Are you okay?”

“Yea.” I nodded.

How could I ever tell him I’m living on the streets.

That would be so embarrassing. I would rather die than tell anyone about it. 

“You sure?”

I gave him a reassuring smile, “Of course.” I hugged him and he flinched, “I just missed you too.” I know he’ll drop the topic with this.

“Oh- okay.” He awkwardly patted my back and I let him go. He gets so weird with girls sometimes that it makes me think he might be gay.

I chuckled.

I want things to stay like this. I only have one friend. I can’t lose him.

I don’t want him to find out how miserable my condition can get and leave me. He’s not only my friend but also my emotional support after all.

Story note:  Ruda thought that Maya not feeling anything for Yohan can't be true because of the mate bond. It's a pretty strong bond between fated werewolf partners but a human can feel it too if his/her fated partner is a werewolf and feel attracted to their mate/partner.