Chapter 4

Dear diary,

Wise men say: only fools fall in love.

 I believe they are called wise for a reason. They are called so because they were all once fools, they once thought that love was the centre of the universe, just like the other 7.7 billion people in this sad, floating Earth.

Love is pain, torture. No matter how perfect and powerful it may appear, Nature has a balance to everything. Even for love, pain, sin, hatred, is all just on the other side of the equation. I know why people are in love, why they love the process of loving.

It's because they get loved back, even if it's delayed. Love gives people false hope, and above all it makes you feel things that you never knew you could feel.

 It takes you to extends, it comes at the wrong time and sweeps you off your feet. And you will end up falling. Now, since we are falling on the earth and not space, there are consequences. Falling hurts. One moment you are so high up the sky, next, you are hitting rock bottom. In simpler terms, falling breaks bones.

 Love makes people do crazy things. It makes people feel worthy. It makes life somewhat, meaningful in a fancy- superstitious way, which is always mistaken for true love. The kind of love only exists in romance novels and soap-operas. To love, we need to sacrifice and be selfless; the two traits, not so common in human beings anymore, unless you are getting paid for it. 

Netflix is a billion-dollar industry because they show us what we want to see, everything this miserable planet have no more.

But we being the fools we always intend to trust that. We don't have supernaturals, we don't have sparkles in our eyes and as far as I am concerned we certainly don't have flying horses either.

All we have so far is a force of attraction, mistaken for love. The nature playing tricks, on our brains smaller than a football.

Next time you don't know why you find a person beautiful or why you've got a tiny butterfly running inside your stomach, or why the pretty girl is always right, know it's because you are your apple-sized-heart is taking control. Letting your heart think never ends well. Believe me. 

Since I am done giving you a piece of my mind,

 Bye.

…

“Looking for this?” his voice echoed in my head.

I couldn't turn around. What if he has a gun? Okay now is not the time for my brain to replay the Avengers.

 I can try to run but, I'd have to run the other way which leads to, God knows where. And just like that my body froze, my head was pounding. I don't know how long I have to stay like this. Please don't faint. You got this. It's probably a nice guy who got lost in the woods, or…

 or security. That is definitely an option.

"It's probably security Lisa". I told myself just to breathe and ...... and. I don't hear anything now, maybe he went away.

I closed my eyes and turned around. Took a deep breath and opened them. There it was, my diary lying on the ground. I swear someone put it there. And I am sure that someone is a guy and he said "looking for this?" I am most definitely sure.

I grabbed my diary and ran, whenever I heard a sound, I ran even faster.

By the time I got to class, I was out of breath and sweaty.

How can someone disappear like that? I didn't hear him leaving; I didn't hear a single twig move. And also he had to cover a lot of areas to hide.

Aarish saw me panting, came rushing towards me.

"What happened Li? Are you okay?"

"Yeah" I breathed.

"Seriously your face looks like a rose, I meant it look like a tomato. No, I didn’t mean your face looks bad, not that tomatoes are bad. Ok, your face is red" Aarish said, his face blushing.

"Geez I took a run, that's it." I lied. That's not it.

"Nobody runs at noon" he gave me a suspicious look.

"I do" I moved my eyes away from his......

Why me? Why is it always me?

...

"Why am I given a voice?"

"To speak"

"I don't want to"

"Why"

"It let out things"

"Like what?"

"Truth"

"Lying is easier"

"No, Truths are hard to believe, but lying is not easy at all"

"Why are you the way you are?"

"I like the way I am, people are always looking for something"

"Like love?"

"Definitions, I wish they just realize that there isn't any"

"♫Country road, Take me home....to the place I belong♫"

"I always had a thing for that song; it makes me want to see the world"

"I sometimes forget that this is not the only place in this world"

"We all do"

"♫Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains......growing like a breeze♫"

"It's a wonderful song, and your singing isn't bad either"

"ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF AGAIN??" my sister yelled at me from the kitchen.

"NO!" I yelled back, knowing she already knows I am lying.

"THE TALKING IS FINE BUT GOD FORBID YOUR SINGING, COME DOWN HERE OR THE NEIGHBOURS WILL THINK YOU ARE CRAZY TALKING TO YOURSELF, and IN THE RAIN!" she yelled.

“WHAT EVER” I yelled back

The rain shows no sign of slowing down. I often came up here, to think out loud.

(Sometimes too loud)

It's raining in January; it’s always raining in January.