His Secret Obsession

Eros Ramazzotti

“Drinking the good stuff today, huh?” Edgar Cayce, my best friend barges into my office saying..

“What can I say I’m in a good mood.”I reply chuckling..

“Damn, is that today? I forgot to check my calendar,” he jokes. “I didn’t realize today was one of the two days a year you’re in a good mood.”

“You little shit.”I curse out at him playfully

He laughs and raises the glass. “Thanks, but I’d rather just drink this delicious booze.”

We chat for a little while about this and that, then go over a few of the points raised during the previous board meeting. Basically, we’re just killing some time. We’ve got a lunch reservation in about thirty minutes, but even with the traffic that’s a constant here, it should still only take us about ten minutes to get there. Fifteen at most.

The door to my office opens again and a nerdy yet young old blonde steps in. She looks at me with wide, wary eyes and arms full of paperwork. She approaches my desk like a terrified gazelle approaching a watering hole, waiting for the lion to leap out of the bushes and tear its throat out. Silently, she sets the stack of papers down and then turns to leave.

“Sorry,” I stop her. “But who are you?”

She turns back, trying to muster up a smile. “Athena I’m your new Personal Assistant, Mr. Ramazzotti,” she says, her voice trembling. “Alice said it was fine to just bring these in and drop them off.”

I look at Edgar who is suppressing a smile, then lean to the right, trying to catch Alice’s eye through the wall of windows that make up the front of my office. But my secretary is busy on the phone and isn’t looking my way. I sit up and look at the young woman again.

“You said you’re my PA?”

She nods. “Yes, sir.”

“Since when?”

“About two weeks now. You personally hired me right on the spot,” she explains.

I look at Edgar again, totally confused. “What happened to the brunette girl? Mary or Michelle, I think?”

Edgar grins. “Her name was Michelle” he tells me. “And you fired her about two weeks ago.”

“Huh,” I lean back in my chair. “Weird. Totally slipped my mind.”

Athena stands rooted to her spot, looking like she’s terrified to move lest she draws my attention. I honestly don’t recall firing my last personal assistant or hiring the new one. I suppose I must have, given the evidence standing in front of me. Switching secretaries is kind of my new jam as frustrating as it is.

I point to the stack of papers she dropped off. “What are those?”

“They need to be signed, sir,” she says.

“Okay Athena was it?”

She nods. “Yes, sir.”

“Okay Athena the first thing you need to do is stop calling me sir. Please lossen up I don't bite,” I tell her. “It annoys the piss out of me that you're quavering"I say grimacing..

“Hmm you do bite you know? And you my dear really don’t want to annoy him,”Edgar chimes in laughing...

“Just ask Macy, Oh right. She got bitten and now she's gone”He say laughing out loud..

"Edgar could you stop with the jokes"I say arching my eyebrows at him.

The girl squeaks and nods. “Yes, si –” she hesitates. “What should I call you then?”

“How about Eros?” I arch my eyebrows at her. “That is my name after all.”

“Second, do not ever drop off a stack of papers like this right before I’m about to go to lunch. Ever,” I growl and wave dismissively at the pile. “I hate leaving my office with clutter like this on my desk.”

Edgar looks up at her and smiles. “It’s a thing with him.”

She nods again, looking for all the world like a goddamn bobblehead.

“Of course. I’m sorry, sir– Eros,” she recovers. “It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t,” I snap. “You’re dismissed.”

A look that can only be described as relief crosses her face as she turns and flees my office. I lean back in my chair and sigh, looking at the stack of papers sitting on the corner of my desk.

“And people wonder why you’re single,” Edgar chuckles. “What with all that charm and all.”

“What?” I question. “You know I don’t like leaving unfinished work on my desk.”

“Oh, I know. But maybe you can give the poor girl a chance.”

“I did,” I counter. “She’s still gainfully employed, isn’t she?”

“We seriously need to work on your people skills, Eros. You can be a brute sometimes, you just bullied that sweet girl.”Edgar says..

“Am not a bully Edgar and thanks for your advice but my people skills are fine,” I tell him. “What we need to work on are the competency levels of my PAs.”I say irritated..

“I guess we have different definitions of the word ‘fine’.”

I give him the finger and laugh. “Blow me.”

I take a long swallow, finishing the last of my scotch. Edgar takes a slow sip of his drink, a look of bemusement on his face.

“What?” I ask.

“Just thinking that you go through PAs faster than some of these women on the Upper East Side go through husbands,” he smirks at me.

I spread my hands wide. “What can I say? Good help is hard to find.”

“Especially if you’re an asshole.”

“This is true,” I respond with a laugh. “Come on; I’m starving. Let’s go to lunch.”