BLANKED OUT.

LOLA

My breathing hitched, something warm and flat pouring against my face.

I rolled over on my back, not fully acknowledging that it was probably time for me to get up.

I kept my eyes shut even when my conciousness was taking form fast.

Then, suddenly and sharply, the metallic scratching sound of curtains being drawn apart from its holder broke through the silence of the moment.

My eyes flipped open, the harsh first rays of the morning sun attacking immediately, filtering right through. It was so unbearable, it stung.

I was still rubbing my eyes as I stood up from the bed.

I had caught a glimpse of the figure towering by the side but I was too sleepy to make sense of it until I had to face it.

"F*ckin come off it, Lola!" Eddy voice boomed against my skull, staggering me right into full conciousness.

"Are you even serious?" his voice tightened against his throat.

I was lost on whatever was happening and everything he was saying.

I was fully awake, bit I still couldn't understand it.

I wanted to say something, but I knew better — it was best to keep mute so as not to complicate things.

"I understand you're out of shape and not willing to help yourself, but are you also like deaf?"

His fingers demonstrated against his ears as he spoke the last words.

I was getting impatient standing there and listening to him gradually reduce me to nothing with his words, so I did the only thing I could — think fast, so as to know how to come in the conversation he had snapped me out of bed like that for.

Did I do something wrong last night?

Only the dining table incident came to mind and as far as I could remember, he got the last bite on that one.

Scrape.

My mind worked again. Fast. Desperate. Ensuring he doesn't beat me to another comment that would most likely be on my weight and how I wasn't trying enough to change it, like I had the option to choose what body I wanted to be born in.

I thought hard in seconds, my head banged hot against my skull.

I was literally clutching on my forehead when his voice came again, merciless as always.

"It seems to me that you keep deteriorating by the day, which of course is of great concern. So why?"

"Why?" my eyes doubled in confusion. 

"Eddy, it's still very early," I glanced around to call his attention to how dark and quiet the room was from the stillness of the environment outside.

"I do not have the slightest idea of what you're talking about," my lips trembled against themselves as they spoke.

Eddy sighed, turning momentarily that for a second, I thought he was going to just walk out of the room and it would have been the most absurd thing today, but he had returned to his position in front of me.

"I do not want to think about the meaning of what you had just said."

There was frustration curled low in his tone. 

I wanted to repeat myself. I wanted to stand up for myself, because I was not doing anything wrong. He should make himself clear if he wants me to understand.

Eddy sighed, flipping his hand over to glance at the solid golden wristwatch strapped round his wrist.

It was then I realized that he was dressed up — his go-to brand suit for VIP occasions, hair made and parted sideways, skin glistening under the effect of wealth and power.

Confusion knotted more inside my chest. I feared for the worst.

"The first honor ceremony starts in thirty minutes, and you should be there."

"Honour ceremony? I don't under---"

"Can you stop trying to talk at every chance you get? Take a moment to listen," Eddy's voice went over the roof, reverberating against the walls and breaking down hard on what was left of my confidence.

My eyes flickered unstoppable and my fingers trembled from the fear of the unknown.

I wasn't still sure of what message Eddy was trying to pass across but judging from his outfit, I knew I had to get ready too.

My brain worked too fast, leaving my body struggling to catch up as I scampered back and forth in front of him.

I didn't have any memory of being told by anyone that there was an event today. I was sure I would have gotten ready on time, if not for anything, to avoid Eddy's contempt.

"This would make a good laugh if I wasn't too angry with you. You should be in a circus," Eddy spat out finally before turning, walking away fast towards the door, his expensive perfume leaving a trail after him, one that registered in my head as a warning.

My breathing caught in my throat just before I slipped back into bed, my entire body tense from how sudden everything happened and how whole it had me.

Wiping my face down in an effort to calm my mind which had been racing since I jumped out of bed to Eddy's beckon, I stared into the space in front of me.

My body didn't feel like mine, my legs seemed too heavy to carry my weight, but Eddy's words were power regardless.

He said I had thirty minutes. It's been twelve minutes since he stumbled out — I was still sitting in the same position.

My vision slowly enlarged and my body suddenly started to burn.

It was a cold morning, and I had slept with the air conditioner blasting at its highest — Eddy preferred it that way and I felt ridiculously hot before bed.

I could tell the room was crisp and chilled, but inside my body didn't feel like it.

I drew in a deep, long exhale.

"I need to get medicine," I muttered, then proceeded to stand with every bit of strength I had left. My knees were stiff and the sole of my feet felt unfamiliar with the grounds.

I shut my eyes tight, mumbling a little prayer to whosoever cared to listen.

I felt like I was losing my breath, slowly, surely, but Eddy's words kept resounding in my ears. 

My fingers found the closest wall to me and I gripped it for support.

Taking a step forward felt like crossing over a deep pit of fire — scary, impossible, risky.

My eyes tightened, pressing into their sockets painfully as I reached for my left foot, grabbing my thighs for support.

But that was the most I could do, my right foot gave away and with a loud thud, my entire body came crashing down.

I blanked out.