THE STRANGER IN CHAOS

LOLA

The bar was starting to fill up fast. 

When I walked in, there was barely any customer, so sitting by myself on a table hidden in a corner far from the central light, I silently stuffed myself with the barman's recommendation of a good alcohol for the weather.

It's been five hours and I still feel like I shouldn't exist.

My vision blurred under the influence of the alcohol, and my teeth tethered against themselves from the fear of having to continue to live as Eddison Langford's wife.

My eyes were heavy as I tried to focus on the glass of the colorless wine dangling between my fingers, because somehow, I couldn't get my mind off the incident with my parents.

I felt a small but sharp pain on the corner of my lower lip causing me to reach out with my tongue to dab on the strange injury. 

Because of the hot taste of the alcohol still clung to my tongue, the pain worsened, causing my lips to tremble.

"I do not want to become his wife anymore, father. You heard me right."

He chuckled lightly, but I knew that was more like a warning than a common expression.

"Why? You're finding it difficult to stick to your husband and stop obsessing over that good for nothing hockey star?"

"Thank goodness. You know he is a star."

"I wouldn't lie about that, just like I wouldn't lie about how much marrying the Langford successor would benefit your entire existence."

"Agreeing to this marriage is my greatest mistake, Father. Everyday has become a nightmare. Eddy isn't human."

"Talk to Lola," My father snapped, turning to my mother, refusing to hear any of whatever it was I was saying.

"Mother! Can you tell him the truth? It is not worth it. You both knowingly sold me out to suffering and forever ridicule in exchange for a topped up lifestyle, and you are not ashamed?," I continued, glancing at the new expensive pieces of furniture in the living room - every one of them glaring in testimony of my claim.

"Lola!" my father grumbled, his patience running out slowly.

"I wouldn't be here if I was half as comfortable as you promised," I glared from one pair of eyes to the other.

"I wouldn't be this agitated if I was happy in Eddy's house. I wouldn't be here if he treated me like a human."

At that point, I was screaming, my voice hard against my throat, my emotions pouring out without control, my spirit clinging to the tiniest hope that is left for redemption.

"Please, Father. Save me," I stilled, my weight sinking into the floor as my knees pressed back on its hardness.

I grabbed the wine glass a bit tighter, harder, pulling every strength my fingers had against its smooth surface until I heard a crack, then a scratching pain between my thumb and index finger, and a wetness trickled down.

"Stand up, get yourself together and go back to your husband."

My father's voice resounded in my head, over and over, until I was grabbing my skull with both of my hands like a load.

I wanted to forget.

I searched around for a distraction - crazy dancers, drinking competitors, make-out buddies on the job, smokers and a heavy weight security admiring a pole dancer like he could grovel her. None of those relieved me of the voice in my head - my sentence to ruin.

I remembered how he sounded, just when I thought he would be my father and I, his only child, like it was.

He sounded like his mind was made up, like he was just a stranger wearing the mask of my father who had always wanted only the best for me.

A sharp pain twisted my guts, an urge to throw up the content of my stomach rising fast up my throat.

I thought about Eddy.

I thought about how I would have to go back to being his subject under the guise of a wife.

The thought was too heavy, I pressed my fingers together, tighter and then, there was a shatter.

Pain spread across the face of my right palm, like fire crackers going off in lines - sharp, urgent.

I didn't care to look at my affected hand, but I felt the tremble up to my arm.

My heart was beating fast.

I heard his voice.

"Attempting to eat the glass? Is there something you don't eat?"

My chest tightened as I turned sharply to examine the space around me.

I couldn't find Eddy, but I was sure I heard his voice. I felt my body get off the seat, my legs barely holding my weight, my eyes searching, my head banging.

I could still hear it. He was saying something else, and then there was the sound of his mocking laughter, like everything that made up my world was a joke, including me.

As I made to walk away from my table to the direction of my eyes - a table in the other far end, with a man whose figure was only visible through the shadows, sitting alone with a drink in hand and seeming to be staring hard at me, my knees buckled against each other and I tripped, landing hard on the floor.

Every part of my body rippled with pain, leaving me groaning hard to my own helplessness.

"She is fat. What is she doing to herself being here!" 

"She looks like she is fifty."

"The weather is cold. Ain't anyone so wrong to try their luck. Just maybe, maybe you would see them."

"F*ck you, nigga! She is bloody shapeless, like an inflated football."

The bickering continued, the weight of their words pressing me harder into the floor.

Unable to bear how much pain it was dealt at the same moment, my body went still.

Pressing my palms hard into the floor, I pushed to lift my weight, the most rigorous task I've ever had to do.

I was succeeding, until someone suddenly yanked my hair backwards, and a loud laughter erupted from the crowd I imagined weren't too far from me.

I wasn't sure what was happening, my vision had become blurry and slowly, darkness took over.

"She isn't too bad for a night ride," a voice chuckled.

"She'd be grateful," another voice chipped in, a large laughter taking over.

Still sprawled across the floor, in the middle of a failed attempt to conquer, I felt my entire world crashing down.

"Eddy!" I managed before a loud slap landed across my b*tt, causing my brain to pause in shock.

Then, I felt my clothes getting peeled off my body, my skin shivering to the harshness of the cold and shame.

I didn't fight. I couldn't fight.

"We can't do it here."

"We can. Let's have as much fun as we can."

A long dry laughter.

I felt so many hands trespassing to my skin, even up to my chest and inside of my laps.

I gagged so hard, I almost threw up before I heard a loud painful groan, the hands tearing off my body almost immediately.

"Who the hell are you?"

That was the last thing I heard, then inaudible comments that got swallowed by the music in time.

I was trembling hard, my hands clasped around my body in shock, fear and pain mixed in a perfect blend tugging at every inch of my body.

Strong arms grabbed me, pulling me up to my feet like I weighed nothing.

"Let me go," I mouthed with the strength from the core of my stomach.

They didn't listen as they trudged me forward with the confidence of someone who owned the other person.