The Alpha's Heart

CHAPTER ONE: AN OLD TRADITION

Neerah

It's a large grass field that develops into a dense forest from the south-eastern side of it. The wind blows freely, missing the tension in the atmosphere. It felt like the elements were mocking me today. Ughh…

It was a bright sunny day, and now that night rolls by, the stars shine just as brightly in the sky. It's a terrible day for me. One that would decide the next phase of my life. 

Yes. I know. It sucks to be me but can things not look so freaking cheerful!

I am turning eighteen today. 

Maria, my stepmother would always have loaded words to share.

“you will either win or lose” she would taunt me.

 “this is the werewolf way” she would smile with that murky depth that sends chills all over my body. 

Well, she had said a lot over the past couple of weeks. But it all boils down to one thing. 

That I will be forced into a dangerous situation whereby I will need to awaken my wolf to protect myself. She said that fear is the only catalyst for me to shift without fail. 

That it is harder to shift for the first time when you are born on a full moon. 

I wonder if there are other ways to bypass this ‘hardness’ of shifting for the first time. 

Did  they chose this way to break my resolve? I think so. No one ever fully explains the werewolf ways to me. 

“Do you understand what is expected of you?” One of the elders asked. I guess that this werewolf gets points for trying. 

You see, the elder council can be requested to spearhead the ceremony. I was told that my father requested their help to keep Alpha Beret from backing out of the deal no matter what happens today.

"yes I do” I reply steadily as if I am not scared. You know, like I am totally vibing with stepping up to danger. 

“There will be wolves in the forest who would try to mate with you. You must shift to protect yourself” the elder warns strictly, making sure I don't misunderstand. 

Oh isn't that perfect! I am sure I want to be ravaged by werewolves on my eighteenth birthday.

But I do understand it all.  I just…I wish I didn't…

“they are weak shifters who hardly pose a threat to one with Alpha genes” the other elder said.

“you are allowed to hurt them. So do not show mercy” another one advised. I think the werewolves I encounter will try to hurt me too. Isn't that exactly what he is saying?!

“do not enter someone else’s territory. When you shift, find your way home no matter what! Once you return, we will all celebrate you. You will also take an oath in front of us and swear allegiance to your husband’s pack. Do you also agree to that?!”

What can I do but nod my head? So I nod my head. I didn't have a choice. Not really. Not if I want to belong.

“say it freely if you do not accept the arrangement. You will be able to recognise your mate after you shift. Won't you wait for your mate Neerah Knight?” the elder who first spoke seeks for clarification.

I subconsciously look at my father whose gaze is a ball of cold hard steel. 

“I accept the terms” I accept with a small feathery voice. 

“If you do not come back in an hour, we will bring you back” one of the elders explained.

“Let us begin” the first elder finally allows. 

And just like that, I was taken to the edge of the forest, and everyone watched as I went inside the dark tree infested zone. 

As a person who likes to face obstacles head on, my initial thought when I was told about this werewolf tradition is that ‘if the others can do it, I can do it too’

But now that I am here, I know that I am wrong. What the heck would I do if I cannot shift? The thought doesn't bear thinking about.

I can see at night so clearly and I usually have good hearing and strength. But I just never felt like my eighteenth birthday was when I would shift. 

I didn't feel any of the signs at all. And just when I was wondering about my fate, my eyes locked with blue eyes. 

There is a wolf staring back at me. A freaking werewolf!

I am so scared because I cannot quite guess what they mean by I would be mated. What does that even mean?!

My heartbeat skyrockets and I am sweating badly. I can hear the deep growls and the eerie quiet swarms me like some incurable disease and…

I ran!

I ran so fast that I did not feel anything except the rush of adrenaline that mixed with my fear to spur me forward without a glitch.

But I cannot outrun a werewolf it seems. Something hit my back, it felt like razors were sinking into my flesh. The force of the hit propelled me forward and I tripped and fell face flat on the grassy forest floor.

Pain explodes in my back but I did not take the time to let it register fully because my fear has the power to push it at bay. 

I tried to get up, but I felt like someone was holding me in place. I can feel the solid weight of what felt like feet. 

I tried to roll away but I couldn't. The person pushing me down is stepping on my wound.

I groan in pain, praying for help. I cannot fathom what he would do if I am left to my own devices. I am not trained. I don't know if I would be able to shift. Do I have a wolf anyway? I don't fucking know!

The pain is all I can feel now. The fear is the blanket over that emotion!

Someone lifts me up and yanks me forward. I can tell clearly that he was fully naked. It's got to be that wolf who pushed me with his claws while he was shifted.

There is something about his scent that smells so familiar. My senses aren't fully developed yet since I have never shifted before. But this scent I would recognise anywhere.

“Jay?” I whisper with disbelief. I raise my head to look at his face. The front of my body is clearly aligned with his. So when I looked up, he was looking down at me with a smile.

The same Jayden smile that puts me at ease. 

But what is so funny about all these?! It's freaking mind boggling!

“Sweet Neerah…!” He whispered through heavy breaths. I can now see more clearly since he pulled me up so that my face is leveled with his own.

His eyes are the icy blue of his wolf. And times like these, I don't know what is going on. I did not grow up with a pack of werewolves. I only arrived a few months ago after my mom died.

But seriously, am I speaking to Jay or is it his wolf?

What should I expect from Jay right now? What should I expect from his wolf?

“Jay…please don't hurt me” I pleaded with him. But his eyes only seemed to roam over my face until they came to stop on my lips. I shuddered involuntarily because I feel alarmed, but not as much as I am so nauseated. 

“I am sorry Neerah. If I don't take you now, I will lose you forever” he murmurs just before his lips come crashing down on mine in a dominant dance that squeezes every last drop of positivity from me.

The most terrifying part of it all was that I couldn't pull away from his embrace. I felt powerless. I was panicking so bad. 

Visions come back to me unbidden.

My mother is screaming at Forte to leave her alone.

“Not in front of my daughter” she would constantly break down whenever he would start the sickening process in front of my eyes. He likes to do it in front of me.

And maybe she would hate it more if she knew how I get to keep my life at night when her own eyes are shut.

Someone yanked him back and I fell on the ground. I couldn't hold my body up and I fell on my back. I feel like I am paralyzed from the shock. I cannot control my limbs anymore. Pain shoots up my back and I can hear them for a little while.

Were the werewolves here in the forest really fighting over me? Who amongst them will get to suck away the last vestiges of hope from me? 

Perhaps it wouldn't be the man that I am secretly dating. 

Perhaps it would be even more shocking. 

Blackness envelops me whole as I sink into the blank abyss of lost consciousness. 

My last thought was that maybe it is true that trust is earned in drops and then lost in buckets. I have lost all trust in people whom society deem protectors.

They will always fail.