Half Truths

I stare at him and decide I better just start talking, I need a pack. I can’t survive like this on my own, that much has been proven. “I was on my way home from a shift at the bar I worked at, not exactly in a great area but money is money right…. And well some drunk guy came up to me… I turned him down and of course he didn’t like that at all.” I said watching his reactions but he had absolutely none. He just sat there waiting. So I went on. “He was so strong. I couldn’t do anything, all the fight I had did nothing to him. He brought me to the back through the forested area and…” this was the hard part to say, “He took what he wanted from me and well, all I remember next was pain, so much pain I turned numb. I was alone in a forest beaten, bloody and dying.” He still just stared, no emotion. So I did the same.

“And then”, he finally said. I didn’t want to continue, but if I had any chance of joining this pack I had to. The fear of what happened at the last pack was burning in my chest. I repeated my mantra in my head. I am strong. I am smart. And I will always survive. Then I went on, “Then I woke up, with my clothes ripped apart and blood all over me. I was confused but I walked to the street and people passing by helped me to the hospital. When I got there they found only healed scars of claw marks and bites they said. When they tried to hydrate me through the IV the needle couldn’t puncture my skin properly and they were confused.” He was interested now and leaned forward just an inch, no human would notice but I did. “I heard them talking about me, I didn’t know how at the time but my hearing was obviously enhanced. They wanted to send me somewhere for tests and I had a bad feeling, but something kept yelling at me to get out of there. Or should I say someone.” I looked at him. Waiting. Nothing. So I continued. “I stole some clothes and got out of there. She guided me to a pack. I found an old couple and they took me in, taking pity on me probably but the voice in my head told me they were safe to trust. So I trusted that. I had no clue what was happening and why there was a voice in my head but the feeling was so intense to trust it that, well, I did.”

It all just started to tumble out now, but he gave nothing away, still unfazed by my story. I’m not sure he believes me, but would I even? “I felt different and I knew I couldn’t go home, she told me not to go home. It turned out that I was in those woods for over a week, apparently healing. And when I talked to the old couple I seriously thought everyone was going crazy and left.” I looked away from him, I still thought this whole situation was crazy but I clearly know it’s real. “When I left, I shut out the voice and went home. I found out my mother had a heart attack due to my disappearance and died, my brother blamed me. We fought, I was so angry I-“ I didn’t want to say it. “I left, taking whatever I could carry and ran to the woods where it all happened. Looking for, I don’t know, anything but then she forced me to turn, to face what I am and what I am not.” I wasn’t giving him the full story but I tried to give him enough.

I took a deep breath, this story is not my favourite to tell and it’s unfortunate that it is my own. “I went back to the couple, they never told me their names or the name of the pack due to loyalty to their Alpha,” I spit the word out with too much disgust, “They told me enough about what I am to understand I need a pack to survive. They took me to their Alpha hoping he would accept me into the pack and give me a home. He did not.” I stopped. Not being able to finish the rest, maybe I don’t have to add the end. “Why did he not accept you?” He raised one of his eyebrows. Fuck. I took another deep breath trying to find the right words. “He wanted something else from me, that I did not want to give him.” I didn’t offer anymore. He was getting obviously annoyed with me beating around the bush now. So I pushed that burning feeling in my chest back down and went to continue but he beat me to it, “What did he want?” He growled.