You Ruin Me Twice

Ava

The last time a man told me “trust me,” I ended up pregnant and alone. 

So when Liam Blackwell says “Come with me tonight.” I don’t mistake it for anything harmless.

I stare at him from across his office, my fingers tighten around the documents I held to my chest. The glass wall behind me reflects everything perfectly. The skyline, the employees the way his eyes haven’t left me since I walked in. 

“I have plans.” I say. 

“Cancel them.” He replies flatly.

It wasn’t a suggestion.

He wasn’t giving me a chance to refuse. 

But that was Liam Blackwell. He decided what happened with others, and no one decided for him. 

“I’m your head of HR.” I reminded him. “Not your assistant.” 

“And I’m your boss.” 

There it was. The power play. 

I should refuse, and every experience, every scar, every thing I’ve believed in told me to walk out and never get involved with men like him. 

But the life I was building for Noah revolves around me not making enemies out of men like him. 

“What exactly do you want me to do?” 

“I need a date for a Gala tonight.” 

“And you think it should be me?” 

“I know it should be you.” 

There was something to his tone, not flirtation, just assessment. Scaling me, measuring my worth. 

Seeing me as a solution to a problem he hadn’t fully explained to me.

“I’m not exactly what people expect you to show up with.” 

His gaze sharpens. 

“You’re exactly what I want to show up with.” 

That does something to my chest. I hate it. 

Because I remember what it felt like to be chosen, to be seen, and how quickly that turned into being abandoned. 

I could not afford it happening again. Because now, I wasn’t the only one in trouble if I broke down. 

“I don’t mix business with…” I paused, indicating the space between the two of us. “This.” 

“That’s good.” He smiled. “Neither do I.” 

Liar. 

Men like him always do. They just don’t admit until it’s too late. And then they leave the gullible at their mercy. 

“It’s one night,” he continues. “You come, you smile, you leave.” 

“And after tonight?” 

“Nothing.”

He says it easily. As though it cost him nothing. But it would cost me everything to believe him. 

For a second I wasn’t in his office anymore. I was standing in front of the blue eyed boy, whose eyes held the future. 

“We’ll figure it out.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

And then he was gone. Just like that. 

“Ava,” Liam’s voice pulls me back. 

I realized I was gone too long. 

“This is a professional request. Don’t overthink it.” He adds. 

Too late. I already was. 

But then I think about Noah. The fees, the rent, the bills. Making an enemy out of this man could mean saying goodbye to these things. I could not risk it. 

And then I make the decision I always make. The practical one. 

“Fine.” 

“Good.” He replies calmly. 

I hate the way my pulse picks up. 

“I’ll send a car for you at seven.” 

“That won’t be necessary…” 

“It is.” 

Of course it is. 

Control was his language. And I had just stepped into it. 

                                        ***

“Mom?” Noah’s voice rang out, pulling me out of my thoughts the moment I stepped into the apartment. 

He is on the couch, legs tucked under him, with a cartoon playing that he’s clearly not watching. 

He was watching me. 

Observing. 

“You’re late.” He said. 

“I told you I had work.”

“You look different.”

“Different how?”

He looked at me and tilted his head, bearing a look that made him seem far more perceptive than his age. 

“The kind of look people wear when they lie to themselves.” He said cleanly.

Noah was blatantly honest, and made sure to point out his opinions without consideration of my feelings. 

At just five years old, Noah had the emotional intelligence of an adult. Seeing and revealing things I missed, or refused to accept. 

It had been hard staring into his deep blue eyes everyday, as they reminded me of his father. But eventually, I got used to them. And then, I couldn’t go without them. 

For Noah was the reason I kept going. 

I took a deep breath, and sat down. 

“I’m not lying.” I said. 

“Okay.” He shrugged. 

Somehow the shrug made it seem like it would have been better if he had argued. 

“I’ll be going out tonight. Amanda is coming to stay with you.” 

“A man?” 

Straight to it. As always. 

“Yes.” 

“Do you like him?”

“I work for him.” 

“That’s not what I asked, mom.” 

I exhale slowly. 

“No.” 

But for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t sure that was true. 

                                       ***

At exactly seven, the car was outside. But that was, Liam. Liam Blackwell does not do late. 

I kissed Noah on the forehead, and went out. 

He leaned against the car in a dark tailored suit. Calm, composed, effortless. 

The confidence he held made it feel like he owned the city behind him. 

He had the cliche look of a cinematic young, successful bachelor. 

His eyes lift up to mine, and my heart skips. Something flickered in them. Something real, unfiltered. 

“You clean up nicely.” He said. 

“So do you.” 

He stepped closer, too close. Close enough that I could feel the shift in the air. My body trembled in response, and I hated myself for it. 

“This is still just one night.” I reminded him. 

His gaze drops briefly to my lips before returning to my eyes. 

“Well that depends.” He said, with a sudden intrigue to his voice. 

My heart stumbles. What could he possibly mean? 

He opens the car door for me, his voice low and controlled. 

“On what?” I asked. 

The glint in his eyes flickers again, and he speaks smoothly.

“On how the night ends.”

I enter the car, and settle into the front seat. But just like that, I knew I had made a mistake. 

Only this time, I didn’t know just how much it was going to cost me.