Lahat ng Kabanata ng The boy I should not love : Kabanata 41 - Kabanata 50

 We get home around 5 pm. We dropped Lana off first and then now Zach and Leo are dropping me off. Leo pulls into my drive way and parks the car. The front door opens and my father walks out. My mother follows shortly after. We get out of the car and greet them, Leo shakes my father’s hand and then he moves to the boot to take out my bags. Zach goes with him and they help each other out.“How was the trip?” My dad asks me but he’s looking at Leo. They walk back to where I’m standing with my parents.  I’m nervous about Leo meeting my parents“It was incredible.” Zach and Leo say at the same time.“Good. Well we’re happy you got home safely.” Dad says looking at me but that doesn’t last, his eyes move back to Leo. Why is he acting like this? He usually doesn’t give this much attention to boys I bring around the house. He didn’t give Zach a second the first, second

I sit at the kitchen island staring at her. I can’t believe she’s here, I look at her trying to figure out if I’m dreaming. Or if I’m dead and this is my hell; all of my demons are haunting me.   “I know this is a lot but I was hoping that we could talk. You know try to figure out a way forward.” My mother says moving to sit next on the chair next to me. I look at her my heart in my throat; I wasn’t prepared to see her. I guess I had made peace with the fact that I would never see her again. I had convinced myself that she was dead. How could I think otherwise? She left her three children to fend for themselves without any thought. In my mind no sane, normal and human being would do that their children.  She left us alone, three kids under the age of 18. We should be dead; it’s a miracle that we’re all still breathing.“How did you find us?” I ask when my brain starts working

“Why didn’t you come to pick us up at school today?” Mina asks me when I take her out of the bath tub and dry her off. I do the same with Jon and then look at her, She looks so worried and concerned.  She’s too young to have that look on her face.“I… had to do something very urgent, so I asked Zach to pick you up instead.”  I say and she pouts at me.“I thought something bad happened to you.” She says her eyes welling up a little. I look at her and my heart breaks. She must have been so worried when I didn’t show up. I sometimes forget how much they war used to our routine. One change like today and that fragile safety I created for them is shuttered.“I’m sorry you got scared, I really wanted to come and pick you up but I couldn’t make it. It won’t happen again.” I say and watch tears fall down her face. Seeing her cry makes me sad because I didn’t mean t

This week has been a week from hell; I dragged myself through school and work. Everything is draining; I’m putting so much effort to do things that didn’t faze me before. I thought I would be over the feeling I had on Sunday by now but I can’t seem to shake it off. I feel lost, like I don’t know who I amI am so angry; I have all these negative emotions coursing through my body. I’m over it. I want to dispel all of it now. I feel like the anger is dragging me back.“Hey Leo, can you please clear out the empty out the cardboard boxes in aisle 27?”Mr. Brown says to me from across a meat fridge.“Sure.” I say and finish off packing the last of the meat trays I have in the trolley. Mr. Brown stands there looking at me, he wants to talk to me about the incident with my mother but I don’t want to. He tried to ask me about it on Monday and I told him I’m not interested in talking about her.I can&

Zach pulls into Golden’s driveway and she comes out of her front door when he parks the car. She stops in her tracks when she sees me and the kids in the car.  I look at her my heart racing, all the feeling I been shoving down in the deepest part of my soul come rushing back up. They hit me like a ton of bricks. “You didn’t tell her you were coming?” Zach asks me when he sees Golden’s face. She looks like she doesn’t know what to do.  I wave at her to check if she’s alright, she looks stuck in one place. She waves back at me but her wave is so sure. Zach and I get out of the car and help Mina and Jon out of the car. She finally moves closer to the car, she has a smile for Mina and Jon, who are happy to see her. “Hey” She says when she stands next to me. “Hey” I say to her and she smiles. “I thought you weren’t coming.” She states as we walk to the front door of her house. “I had a change of heart, I hope you don’t mind.” I sa