JORDI ADKINS“Hey there.” The curve on Xavier’s face was just the best thing to see when I’ve been growing impatient for the day to end. “I’m really glad that you showed up. I really thought you’re going to ditch me today.” Xavier babbled out.“Now, why would I ditch you?” I replied and I had to slowly look away careful not to let him see how I turned red. I really waited for this moment ever since I woke up this morning and while it took forever, I’m still happy that I’m giving this guy a chance.“I don’t know. I feel like I scared you last night. I was waiting for your reply”I immediately released a soft chuckle in direct response to Xavier. “Right. Those pick-up lines are corny as fuck.” I voiced out not really wanting to admit the fact that he did got me with those cheesy lines. Of course I’m not going to just tell him that I almost ran out of air because that’s basically me giving in. I’m not like one of those fickle and gullible girls who would easily fall for someone who’s jus

JORDI ADKINSThe floor doesn’t look very friendly with all of the dirt and the soda that was spilled but at this point, it’s the only friend that I have left other than myself. I sat on my knees for quite a while and helplessly watched as Chad and the rest of the senior members of the soccer team slowly walk out of my sight. Chad was holding Xavier by the arm most of the time and that sort of sealed the deal for me.No more Xavier Rockwell for me, I guess.Perhaps, I’ve been overly delusional with things between Xavier and I that I never really thought this through. Xavier and I are both living in two different worlds now that I’m beginning to think of it. He’s way too popular and I’m just the little gay loser that almost every single heterosexual man loved to poke fun at just because I don’t have the ability to fight back.I can’t even get over this rising thought that maybe, just maybe, Xavier and I aren’t really going to work out. We are never going to be written in the stars and w

XAVIER ROCKWELLI feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind and I just want to start over again but it’s not going to happen. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of the sea and there’s no one there trying to rescue me other than myself.As the rush of alcohol entered my system, I began to feel like the entire world was plotting against me. For starters, I never wished to be born in a family that’s brazenly defined by the word complicated. Not only that my dad’s a cheating spineless bastard but my mom’s also a sunken shipwreck and that leaves me, a fucking mess. To make matters even worse, I’d have to live my life like I’m always out for myself.Life’s really quite an unpredictable rollercoaster riddled with ups and downs and spirals, and perhaps I’m taking that ride with my mom. In spite of that, I feel like I’m all alone on this ride.To be perfectly honest with myself, I haven’t met someone that I truly liked before and that’s until the moment I got trapped in Jordi’s mouth.

JORDI ADKINSThe weekend passed very unbearably sluggish for me. Before the recent disaster that had occurred last Friday, I really thought I’m living a bit of a difficult life with Xavier and the rest bullying me. I was slightly wrong about that. It turned out that there are people even worse than Xavier and as much as I wanted to hate him for literally doing nothing, I could only hate myself.I should’ve said no when Xavier asked me out. It’s true that I’m starting to see the real Xavier hidden behind the tough facade and I would admit that I’m slowly falling for the stupid guy. However, the stars above do seem like they have an entirely different plan for either of us. If I had said no, then things would’ve been much easier for me to handle. I could’ve spent my weekend without having to overthink about a lot of things.The mental and emotional turmoil that ensued from last Friday got me writhing with anxiety. On one hand, I kept on having a lot of what ifs and it wasn’t very pleasa

JORDI ADKINSIt’s been over a week ever since the last time I encountered Xavier Rockwell and that’s basically a record for me and him, I guess. So far, I’ve been having a great week and my life’s not been intentionally bothered by anyone. Xavier has not tried to push me in one corner or confront me Xavier style or shove me into the janitor’s closet. He never even attempted to show up at my house unannounced. We are both basically together in a lot of classes and so far, he’s pretty much back to his old habits. If he’s not sketching something at the back of his notebook, he’s always taking a careless nap and at some points, I could see him stealing glances over me but every single time that happens, I basically act as if I never caught him.I don’t want to admit it to myself but a small part within me still feels like it wants Xavier to be up in my ass. Not in a literal way but I’m still hoping he’d try to approach me even though the biggest part of me wants nothing to do with him. Wh