All Chapters of I Made a Deal With the Devil: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

Julian kept watch in that small room for a night.At daybreak he stood, covered her again with the waterproof cloth, closed the zipper, and carried the bag out of the room. The boatman was lighting a fire in the yard and looked up at the sound."Sir, the time for the sea burial.""I know." Julian's voice was rough. "Give me a little more time."He set the bag on the back seat, secured it with the belt, then sat in the driver's seat and started the engine. He didn't go back to the inn, didn't go back to the estate. He drove south along the coast for over an hour, and a familiar inn appeared at the roadside. The old log-cabin inn near Acadia. They had stayed there on the way up.He parked out front and pushed the door open.The landlady was wiping down the counter and looked up at the sound of the door."Oh, it's you!" She smiled. "You two stayed here last time, even had a bowl of clam chowder off my stove."She glanced behind him, and her smile caught."Huh, where's your wife? Didn't th

Julian didn't go back to the inn. He parked at the edge of the port, and by the car's interior light, turned the journal page by page.On the flyleaf was tucked a faded movie ticket stub. From their first date seven years ago. On the back of the stub she had written in ballpoint, "He was twenty minutes late today, but the way he came running, all sweaty, I guess he's not too awful after all."Further on, a pressed ginkgo leaf, a receipt from a college dining hall, a sticky note he'd once scrawled to her. All things that to him were worthless, that should have been thrown out long ago. But she had tucked them away like treasures, page after page, with notes written beside them.He had almost forgotten that Eleanor had once been this kind of person. The her of these three years, in his memory, always had a cold face, red eyes, slamming doors at the slightest thing. He could barely remember that she had once been the girl who kept a movie stub for seven years, stifling her giggles when he

After the burial, Julian didn't go straight back.He took the travel journal and, following the list she had written and put off and put off and never managed to reach, went place by place in her stead.She had written that she wanted to see the sunset at Portland Head Light. He went, and sat on the bench until dark. She had written that she wanted to see the sunrise from an Acadia peak. He went, and raised his camera at the empty ridge and pressed the shutter. He knew she wouldn't be in the photo, and he took it for her anyway. She had written that she wanted the lobster roll from that old shop in Camden. He bought two, one in his own hand, one set on the empty seat beside him.At every place, on the matching page of the journal, he added a line. "Came here for you today. It was beautiful, just like you wrote."He filled in those blanks she never got to fill, stroke by stroke.A few days later, he set out on the road home.He pushed open the door, and old Henry came up to meet him, hi

Coming out of her room, Julian got a call from an old friend asking him out for a drink. He went.The mood in the private room was delicate. Someone passed him a drink and, choosing his words, ventured, "Julian, about Eleanor, we've all heard. I shouldn't say this, but the way you two were these last few years, everyone figured you'd stopped caring a long time ago."Julian didn't slam the table. He only lowered his eyes, drained the glass in one go, and a long while later spoke."You all read it wrong. It wasn't that I didn't care. I took the word 'care' and hid it, the worst possible way, for three years. Hid it until she died, until even I almost believed that 'I don't love her' nonsense."He gave a small laugh, uglier than crying."I thought I had all the time in the world. I forgot that people die."No one at the table said a word.

The gathering broke up, and Julian braced himself against the wall to stand, his steps unsteady. Someone moved to help him, and he gently avoided them."I'm fine."The others watched him leave alone. The Julian Ashford who had always been the life of every gathering was now nothing but exhaustion.On the pre-dawn street, he leaned in the back seat, watching the streetlights slide past the window, and suddenly thought of years ago. A late night like this one too, when he was driving her back to school, and she had wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and said, muffled, "Julian, someday I want to travel every corner of the world with you."He had laughed and agreed at the time. Now the scenery was all still there, and the person who'd wanted to walk the world with him was gone.Back home, Henry silently brought a bowl of hangover soup. As he drank it, Julian remarked offhandedly, "Eleanor used to make me this all the time."Henry's eyes reddened at once, and he said, his voice c