Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

“And that is the reason why I said those words. I like your fear, not because it is a normal thing. I love it because deep down you are a monster like me, schiava. You fear me on a primal level, you can feel my power and dominance, and you know you aren’t the strongest here. So you don’t fear Renzo Valentino the human, you fear the monster that lurks inside.” My life changed the night of my birthday. What started as a funny dare ended with blood and having a price on my head. I thought Renzo was the hero who saved me that night, but he was the devil who owned me forever. I, Misha Yakov, princess of the Russian mafia became Renzo Valentino's slave. He broke me, tortured me, and molded me into something new, something I hated and craved at the same time. I, Misha Yakov became my master's pet.

Emilia Burke is a young and advanced college student with an eye for trouble. Ever since her last year in high school, when the only man she ever loved disappeared without a single glance, she has been an expert at evading heartbreak. And hasn't formed a meaningful connection since. Sure, she's young, funny, pretty, and too smart, but she has kept her love interests at a distance and kept everything simple. Fun. No feelings attached. But now, with as much ease as when he disappeared, Leon Maverick has returned to her life as a successful and sexy business tycoon. He's determined to win back the girl whom once had given her all for him, but there's a problem when she can't even stand the idea of him. If only she would give, but there's just something... Something about Leon. And maybe, he'll break through her barriers one last time.

One night, as I was making my way to the bathroom around 3 a.m., I saw my dormmate, Yvonne, squatting in front of our door. She was rearranging all our shoes so that their tips were pointed inward. I thought it was funny, so I rearranged them to have their tips pointed outward. The next day, I found that all of them had been positioned inward again. This kept happening for a week, and I continued to scramble things up, hiding the shoes, even, or tying the shoelaces together. But they always ended up being repositioned neatly inward. I started observing my dormmate and found her mumbling to the shoes while squatting at the door. I ranted about it online, only to have my first reply send chills down my spine. [Do you also get the weird feeling that something paranormal is happening around you? You have to move out before it’s too late!]

Max was famous for his hardcore attitude and being able to run a mutli billion company.. Max was known for different women every night… Until he meet Asia.. Asia would not give him the time of day.. Can Max win Asia heart?

Imagine you planned to have your boyfriend kidnapped, delivered to your blindfolded and gagged. You fuck him, and pull the hood off after, only to be face to face with a stranger. That stranger, you quickly lean, is the Don of the Cosa Nostra. He's all too pleased to have taken part in your kidnap fantasy.

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"

New girl Cierra makes a big impression with the popular kids on her first day at High Moon High School.When Titan takes a shine to her, will it blossom or will there be a spanner or two in the works.When Cierra meets the leaders of her new group of friends, she learns quickly that she would rather live like them than without them but when all of her friends are involved in an attack and the twins are left comatose will she have what it takes to step up, to show everyone what she is made of? Cierra Cardle needs to stay strong and not crumble through the trials. Can Cierra and her loved ones pull through? Join them in this romantic action filled adventure.**********Today is my 5th first day in high school so nothing new to me, same thing different school no doubt. Snotty popular girls, ass hat jocks, and everything in between.A weak human girl in a warewolf world, scrap that, a bad ass girl in a big scary world. Bring on the wolves!

One night. The one night she wasn't supposed to be there. She got into a one on one arguement with Mr Xavier, The CEO of a Milton billionaire industry, X&O. In an attempt to get revenge he forcefully hires her as his Pa. But things didn't go as he wished, and they both have to stick together to fight new obtsacles. Now the question to fate is that will they survive without tearing each other apart first. "I want his head." I grin evily, watching him from the window. Even without doing anything, he still annoys me.

19 year old Waverly never knew her father, she had never even known his last name since she had been the product of a one night stand. Her mom never saw the guy again after their one heated night together. At age 12 she & her mother settled down in the peaceful town of Mansterville and had lived there for the past seven years. Sure the place could get a bit boring at times but the beauty of it all was worth a tad of boredom here & there. All that is about to change when the huge moving trucks suddenly come rolling down the private drive to the large mansion across the road that had remained vacant the entire time they'd lived here. Waverly & Shay had always assumed the old manor had been condemned for one reason or another, however their assumptions are proven wrong when three gorgeous brothers suddenly pop up out of the blue one fall day and move into the home. These three will definently shake things up and bring more excitement than these two stunning ladies have ever experienced. The new neighbors may also bring out a side of Waverly she never knew existed, along with a fair amount of chaos with their sudden arrival. So...Come on folks lets all go visit the little town of Mansterville and watch as this wild adventure unfolds.

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.