Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

“Mate with me and have my pups.” Serena was still on the ground. Her ears were ringing from the absurd demand she’d just heard. Mate? Pups? She blinked up at him, confused and breathless. “What the hell?” ********** She came to prove their world was real… She didn’t expect to be crowned its Queen. When desperate artifact researcher Serena Rael crashes the sacred mating ritual of the Trueblood Alpha King, Kaelen Syrus, she shatters more than tradition — she triggers an ancient Moonbond that cannot be broken. Now bound to a cold, powerful king who despises humans, Serena is obligated to bear his pups in order to survive a realm ruled by wolves, secrets, and deadly magic. But her presence has awakened something far older than fate: a prophecy, a mark, a war and a journey to other packs and realms. He lost his mate to a human. She is a defiant human, who never wished to belong to a werewolf. Fate doesn’t care. But as hidden truths rise and betrayal cuts deep, Serena must choose: The love that claimed her… or the life and freedom she once fought for.

Inhaling deeply, I nodded as I gazed into his sexy grey eyes, "Yes. I will be your fake fiancée, Roman." He smirked, "Perfect. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, doll." +++ One day, Sofie Diaz comes home, and is given the horrendous news of her engagement to the CEO of a reputable business corporation, who is thrice her age, by her greedy parents. Infuriated, she goes to a bar to drink her frustration away. There, she meets a sexy stranger. One thing leads to another, and Sofie ends up having a one-night stand with him. The next morning, the man, Roman Giovanni, who Sofie later realizes is one of the richest CEOs in America, makes an absurd proposal, for her to be his fake fiancée for a hundred days to fulfill his grandmother's wish, for him to get married. Ignoring her logical reasoning, Sofie accepts his proposal on a whim as she'd rather fake being engaged to a hot billionaire than be the wife of an old ogre. What happens when this arrangement of theirs blooms into love spiced with a generous dash of passionate sexcapades?

Olivia Harmon's marriage was not ideal. Her husband cheated on her at the time she needed him most. Despite his effort to pay for his mistakes, Olivia never really moved on from her heartbreak. She couldn't understand why someone whom she trusted most would be the one person who betrayed her. And then she met Roman. Blue eyes, full of charms, a smile that could brighten up her darkest nights, funny, and a face that made any woman turned their heads. Their love affair was fervent, refreshing, passionate, romantic, and brief. It was over as soon as it began until they meet again two years later in unexpected circumstances. Lies. Deceit. Guilt. Passion. Love. Infatuation. Olivia found herself in a tug-of-war with herself. Tangled in the complexity of her marriage and her new love. She soon discovered she was not the only one with secrets, leading them to an inevitable doom.

Olwen suddenly received news that lightning struck, her father wanted her to marry Dylan, the son of a rich family. Dylan is a man with a reputation for debauchery, looking down on women. Olwen was not allowed to refuse because it was an obligation she had to fulfill towards her family. After trying every way to get out of the marriage but all failed. Olwen is depressed, desperate to find the pub. There she let herself get drunk and gave her virginity to Luca. The next day, before leaving, Olwen impromptu suggested to Luca that on her wedding day come and take her away and Luca showed up. A strawberry robbery that was never well-planned happened. As a result, a lot of troubles and storms came to the couple. A love born in a situation that is ironic, funny, but encounters opposition from many sides. After going through difficulties and challenges together, will Olwen and Luca have complete happiness?

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.

Harmonica Saint is terrified of being unable to make friends. Coupled with her crippling social anxiety, and her fear of moving away from her family to a new place for college, she is afraid she'd have no friends. But surprisingly on the first day, someone wants to be her friend…. It is just that this person is Rhett Lockhart, littered with tattoos and mysterious beyond compare, Harmony has a bad feeling about this friendship. After all, friends don't give other friends hickeys on their necks. Or do they? "So you thought our friendship was over because of that? Funny baby girl, what makes you think I'll let you go….. Just like that?" He said the words so gently as he always spoke, but it was his eyes that gave him away, those pitch-black eyes were raging with all kinds of intense emotion, each promising to swallow her whole.

To the outside world, Marvelon is just another college student. He even plays the role well enough to convince himself of this. Little did he know, the world depends on him to become the one thing he's scared of the most: himself. He can hardly keep his special abilities under control. And, to make matters worse, he now has to fend for a naive princess. He can sniff the disaster from a mile away. When Aqualia is plucked from her home and into a new world, she's forced to use the skill of adaptation. Funny enough, the new world and its inhabitants are intriguing. Not to mention its hidden treasure. Who would have thought she'd be craving things of this world? No one! When love comes knocking, they have no other choice but to answer. ️ Warning: This novel contains mature language and sexual contents

Hang on with me for a second, as the first few chapters might be a bit confusing; however, it will all be solved in the meantime. Eternal Malediction is a fantasy novel with elements of psychological pain and growth. It follows the main character, Roy Shyam, a cynical yet compassionate 17-year-old cursed with the ability of transmigration, bound by an entity whose obsession with him ensures he can never escape. Every time Roy dies, he is transmigrated to another universe, a new version of him. Entering the life of each universe's Roy while facing subtle to absurd circumstances. This eternal malediction breaks down his identity and prevents him from speaking of it, which summons the being, causing him to go back in time to a place he was before. We are then introduced to another version of Roy, one where our Roy has yet to take over his body; he emerges in a society where continents, countries and law thrive through the use of prana, a force that connects life, will and reality. Here, Roy forms a faction called Nova in Veil and draws the attention of the Celestial Watch, the protector of the land where he lives. The plot moves from intimate suffering to the rebirth of a new character, culminating in his choices about memory, fate and what it exactly means to live.

Night Stalker Series 3: Forrest Wood is an enigmatic tattooed bartender who lives in two worlds to protect someone he loves. He never questions his self-control over temptations while searching for answers for half his life. Until something has changed in a woman, he’s been keeping tabs for a while. When he’s finally ready to deal with his feelings, he knows nothing can be easy in his life—it only complicates his plans and his secrets that Megan might not accept who truly he is. A flirty, blunt, and funny, Megan Simons built her walls over relationships until her life crumbles down in front of her. Forrest comes to the rescue. She finds him intriguing and beyond attractive. When she starts bringing her walls down, she finds herself in a situation where Forrest Wood is more than what meets the eye.

Cesari Islan Sandoval is a drop dead gorgeous multi billionaire playboy who can get any lady he wants at the snap of his fingers but doesn't do relationships until he meets Elyon Devane a single mom who is in need of a job. He feels drawn to her which is something that has never happened to him before so without thinking he gives her the job as his personal assistant thinking he could seduce her into sleeping with him but she turns out to be a hard nut to crack. He falls in love with her five years old daughter and though he doesn't consider himself a daddy material,he finds himself wishing he is her daughter's father. Funny enough he finds out that he is indeed her daughter's father which causes him to have a rethink much to the chagrin of his lover Antoinette Montalvo.