Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Due to the change in my work location, I'd already informed Paul Miller, my part-time helper, to look for a job elsewhere three months ago. Back then, Paul had agreed to do so immediately. But when I'm about to move out of my old home, he made an absurd request to me. "I've spent so many years working for you to the bone. According to this industry's rules, you have to take care of me for the rest of my life. But if you refuse to do that, you can pay me a pension of ten thousand dollars every month." I'm stunned, to say the least. Did I hire a part-time helper, or did I find myself a financial burden instead? I turn Paul down immediately, so he decides to take a step back. "If you don't want to pay me, then give me this house of yours. I can't just leave without anything, right? It'll just show how petty of an employer you are. If not, I'll humiliate you in the group chat!" Fury floods my senses immediately. Fine. Let's see who will get humiliated here!

Night Stalker Series 3: Forrest Wood is an enigmatic tattooed bartender who lives in two worlds to protect someone he loves. He never questions his self-control over temptations while searching for answers for half his life. Until something has changed in a woman, he’s been keeping tabs for a while. When he’s finally ready to deal with his feelings, he knows nothing can be easy in his life—it only complicates his plans and his secrets that Megan might not accept who truly he is. A flirty, blunt, and funny, Megan Simons built her walls over relationships until her life crumbles down in front of her. Forrest comes to the rescue. She finds him intriguing and beyond attractive. When she starts bringing her walls down, she finds herself in a situation where Forrest Wood is more than what meets the eye.

"I wouldn't be with a monster like you even if the world was ending and you were the last of the male specie!" That is what she said to him but life took a funny turn from there. Luka Vladimir is your typical Alpha, leading the most ruthless and largest pack ever known. He is 35 and still hasn't found his mate. He was getting restless in finding his luna but when he finally finds her, he wishes he hadn't! Venus Gracia is the exact opposite of anything a Luna should be known as. No, she isn't weak, unwanted and the trash of the town. She is haughty, conceited, and a full-blown feminist human! Born out of old money her only ambiance was to seize the reins of her father's company and she would stop at nothing in this misogynist world to prove her worth. Together they could ruin empires or could lead them to novel peaks but one thing was for sure, together they were explosive!

My name is Ella Grace Johnson. I'm just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life of an artist, until cancer forces me into an extraordinary situation. Desperate for medical treatment, I find myself in a fake marriage with Adrian Charles Montgomery, a billionaire CEO with a hidden struggle - sex addiction. It's supposed to be a simple arrangement, a means to an end. But life has a funny way of complicating things. Adrian is nothing like I expected. Behind his CEO persona, he's caring, considerate, and surprisingly understanding. But his addiction brings a new set of challenges to our relationship. As we go through this deception, I find myself drawn to him. But our secret is exposed, and I'm sent away, leaving my heart with Adrian. Now, I'm not just fighting for my life, but also for a love that was never supposed to happen. Can we turn our fake marriage into a real one? Or will our love story end before it even begins?

Cesari Islan Sandoval is a drop dead gorgeous multi billionaire playboy who can get any lady he wants at the snap of his fingers but doesn't do relationships until he meets Elyon Devane a single mom who is in need of a job. He feels drawn to her which is something that has never happened to him before so without thinking he gives her the job as his personal assistant thinking he could seduce her into sleeping with him but she turns out to be a hard nut to crack. He falls in love with her five years old daughter and though he doesn't consider himself a daddy material,he finds himself wishing he is her daughter's father. Funny enough he finds out that he is indeed her daughter's father which causes him to have a rethink much to the chagrin of his lover Antoinette Montalvo.

Hang on with me for a second, as the first few chapters might be a bit confusing; however, it will all be solved in the meantime. Eternal Malediction is a fantasy novel with elements of psychological pain and growth. It follows the main character, Roy Shyam, a cynical yet compassionate 17-year-old cursed with the ability of transmigration, bound by an entity whose obsession with him ensures he can never escape. Every time Roy dies, he is transmigrated to another universe, a new version of him. Entering the life of each universe's Roy while facing subtle to absurd circumstances. This eternal malediction breaks down his identity and prevents him from speaking of it, which summons the being, causing him to go back in time to a place he was before. We are then introduced to another version of Roy, one where our Roy has yet to take over his body; he emerges in a society where continents, countries and law thrive through the use of prana, a force that connects life, will and reality. Here, Roy forms a faction called Nova in Veil and draws the attention of the Celestial Watch, the protector of the land where he lives. The plot moves from intimate suffering to the rebirth of a new character, culminating in his choices about memory, fate and what it exactly means to live.

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!

A Werewolf's Vow: Mated by the Letter To my dearest stranger, My day has been so tough to the point that I almost wanted to end my life. Wanted to slash my throat with a knife, drink and eat something with poison, or even planned to drown myself. Why was the world so mean to me? Why is my life this miserable? And why can they just leave me alone? I can't take it anymore. I only wanted to live a normal life, away from humiliation, deprivation, and bad luck. So, I'm writing this letter, thinking you might hear me out. Funny, but this is the only way I could express my thoughts. And for the record, this has been my eighth and final letter to send off. And whoever you are, it was nice meeting you. Hopefully, when you get the chance to read this letter, you'd send me something in response. For us to know each other better. I'll be waiting. Love, Joshua Craig.

In a world of feral beings who have fangs and claws, an Alpha is born to reign. However, a glitch of nature made something extraordinary. Three Alpha are born to rule the world of wolves. With strength and wit, they build a kingdom and earn the respect of all packs. Rogues and other alphas kneel before their throne. King Lucas Haze is the center of the tri-alpha. Behind every success is his genius plans. The one who executes everything and loves tormenting their enemy. Indeed, Non ducor, duco. Until one night, he found himself fucking up their plan. They are supposed to kill everyone at the party but when his gaze landed on Victoria Stephen, he knows he cannot lay his hands on her. The funny thing is, she was the woman of their ultimate enemy. A woman who remains to be blind just because of love. With no other choice, he kidnapped the woman of his enemy, creating a feud in their plan. Under the complex circumstances of their life, they will find themselves falling at the most inappropriate time. However, is it possible for love to prosper against all wars and odds of their life?

“So you didn’t think you needed to tell your mate he can’t have a child? You thought you could just hide it from me?” “Hide it from you? Are you serious? You’re the one sleeping with my own twin sister in our bed, and you have the nerve to stand there asking me absurd questions like that?” Eamon’s jaw tightened as he took a step closer. “You’re in no position to speak to your Alpha like that, Lyra.” “Position?” I laughed. “You want to talk about position? Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Even the Beta shows more responsibility than you do. You destroyed everything we had, everything I believed in, and you think you can just throw your title in my face like it fixes any of this?” ***************** He betrayed her with her own twin. He divorced her for being barren. But Lyra just discovered the truth: her mate, Eamon, was the one who poisoned her. Stripped of everything, she flees to a rival pack, where a dangerous new alliance and a fiery attraction to the Alpha's son fuels her vow of vengeance. Eamon will pay for what he stole.