Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

"I wouldn't be with a monster like you even if the world was ending and you were the last of the male specie!" That is what she said to him but life took a funny turn from there. Luka Vladimir is your typical Alpha, leading the most ruthless and largest pack ever known. He is 35 and still hasn't found his mate. He was getting restless in finding his luna but when he finally finds her, he wishes he hadn't! Venus Gracia is the exact opposite of anything a Luna should be known as. No, she isn't weak, unwanted and the trash of the town. She is haughty, conceited, and a full-blown feminist human! Born out of old money her only ambiance was to seize the reins of her father's company and she would stop at nothing in this misogynist world to prove her worth. Together they could ruin empires or could lead them to novel peaks but one thing was for sure, together they were explosive!

My name is Ella Grace Johnson. I'm just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life of an artist, until cancer forces me into an extraordinary situation. Desperate for medical treatment, I find myself in a fake marriage with Adrian Charles Montgomery, a billionaire CEO with a hidden struggle - sex addiction. It's supposed to be a simple arrangement, a means to an end. But life has a funny way of complicating things. Adrian is nothing like I expected. Behind his CEO persona, he's caring, considerate, and surprisingly understanding. But his addiction brings a new set of challenges to our relationship. As we go through this deception, I find myself drawn to him. But our secret is exposed, and I'm sent away, leaving my heart with Adrian. Now, I'm not just fighting for my life, but also for a love that was never supposed to happen. Can we turn our fake marriage into a real one? Or will our love story end before it even begins?

Due to the change in my work location, I'd already informed Paul Miller, my part-time helper, to look for a job elsewhere three months ago. Back then, Paul had agreed to do so immediately. But when I'm about to move out of my old home, he made an absurd request to me. "I've spent so many years working for you to the bone. According to this industry's rules, you have to take care of me for the rest of my life. But if you refuse to do that, you can pay me a pension of ten thousand dollars every month." I'm stunned, to say the least. Did I hire a part-time helper, or did I find myself a financial burden instead? I turn Paul down immediately, so he decides to take a step back. "If you don't want to pay me, then give me this house of yours. I can't just leave without anything, right? It'll just show how petty of an employer you are. If not, I'll humiliate you in the group chat!" Fury floods my senses immediately. Fine. Let's see who will get humiliated here!

In a world of feral beings who have fangs and claws, an Alpha is born to reign. However, a glitch of nature made something extraordinary. Three Alpha are born to rule the world of wolves. With strength and wit, they build a kingdom and earn the respect of all packs. Rogues and other alphas kneel before their throne. King Lucas Haze is the center of the tri-alpha. Behind every success is his genius plans. The one who executes everything and loves tormenting their enemy. Indeed, Non ducor, duco. Until one night, he found himself fucking up their plan. They are supposed to kill everyone at the party but when his gaze landed on Victoria Stephen, he knows he cannot lay his hands on her. The funny thing is, she was the woman of their ultimate enemy. A woman who remains to be blind just because of love. With no other choice, he kidnapped the woman of his enemy, creating a feud in their plan. Under the complex circumstances of their life, they will find themselves falling at the most inappropriate time. However, is it possible for love to prosper against all wars and odds of their life?

A Werewolf's Vow: Mated by the Letter To my dearest stranger, My day has been so tough to the point that I almost wanted to end my life. Wanted to slash my throat with a knife, drink and eat something with poison, or even planned to drown myself. Why was the world so mean to me? Why is my life this miserable? And why can they just leave me alone? I can't take it anymore. I only wanted to live a normal life, away from humiliation, deprivation, and bad luck. So, I'm writing this letter, thinking you might hear me out. Funny, but this is the only way I could express my thoughts. And for the record, this has been my eighth and final letter to send off. And whoever you are, it was nice meeting you. Hopefully, when you get the chance to read this letter, you'd send me something in response. For us to know each other better. I'll be waiting. Love, Joshua Craig.

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!

“So you didn’t think you needed to tell your mate he can’t have a child? You thought you could just hide it from me?” “Hide it from you? Are you serious? You’re the one sleeping with my own twin sister in our bed, and you have the nerve to stand there asking me absurd questions like that?” Eamon’s jaw tightened as he took a step closer. “You’re in no position to speak to your Alpha like that, Lyra.” “Position?” I laughed. “You want to talk about position? Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Even the Beta shows more responsibility than you do. You destroyed everything we had, everything I believed in, and you think you can just throw your title in my face like it fixes any of this?” ***************** He betrayed her with her own twin. He divorced her for being barren. But Lyra just discovered the truth: her mate, Eamon, was the one who poisoned her. Stripped of everything, she flees to a rival pack, where a dangerous new alliance and a fiery attraction to the Alpha's son fuels her vow of vengeance. Eamon will pay for what he stole.

Grandpa Arthur Bennett was taken to court after being accused of using violence and coercion to commit rape. Yet I lounged at home, idly scrolling on my phone while watching a livestream. In my previous life, determined to uncover the truth, I had volunteered to serve as the plaintiff’s lawyer and investigated the case in depth. I had even contacted my brother, Ethan Bennett, praised as a genius lawyer, and urged him to defend Grandpa. But he believed the story I told was absurd—a lie meant to stop him, my best friend, and my mom from going on their trip to Moonlake together—and he blocked all my contact information. In the end, Grandpa was sentenced to life in prison and suffered a fatal heart attack in the courtroom. My family believed I had deliberately helped the plaintiff and disregarded my own kin. They blamed Grandpa’s conviction and death on me. When my Mom returned and saw Grandpa’s body, she collapsed in grief. Overcome with emotion, she got into her car and drove it straight into me, killing me. When I awoke with a start, I realized I had returned to three hours before Grandpa was taken to court.

Grace White, a weak werewolf with cowardly alpha blood that runs through her veins, is an obedient daughter that strives to stay out of her father’s way and pay her stepmom's hospital fees. Though living with an abusive father, Gracey always finds the time to stop and appreciate life and the joy of being alive. However, when her stepmom’s hospital fees begin to triple, her stresses begin to consume every ounce of joy she has left. Being a girl who lives a life grounded on morals, the thought of selling herself as a house maiden/servant, as her father suggested, to earn enough money, sounds absurd at first. Yet when there seems to be no other option, and her mom’s life hangs in the balance, she decides to sell herself in the largest and most esteemed auction that El Salvador hoists every year. Her mixed feelings towards the auction become subdued, as the moon Goddess gifts her the person she has always dreamt of having. But will he accept her, or hurt her much more than life itself? …but whatever he chooses to do, he needs to remember that: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Tara’s mother and sister are both Lunar Wolves, blessed by the Moon Goddess with unique abilities. Tara seems to be an ordinary werewolf, but as she comes of age and welcomes her charismatic wolf, Trinity, her quiet life in Blue Moon is turned upside down. When she finds her mate, she’s catapulted into the spotlight, into a fairy tale with dark undercurrents she never saw coming. The threat of war looms, as her sister Talia prepares to become one of the first female Alphas, a controversial break with tradition that faces formidable resistance. Tara uncovers long buried secrets, a cryptic prophecy that unexpectedly awakens something dormant, and finds herself at the forefront as winds of change sweep through Lycan and Werewolf society. This is a story full of twists, turns, and laugh out loud funny moments. If you’re ready for a fast paced and thought provoking romantic comedy with plenty of drama and action, this novel is a fun must-read.