Best Dark Humor Novels & Stories

By babies he meant his pit bulls, wolfdogs and Caucasian Ovcharkas. He walked towards a cage at the corner which was in the dark and calmly threw in the flesh and in no time there were loud growling sounds that could make anyone peed their pants… “ That was just an appetizer.” Damian smirked as he licked off the blood stains on the knife like a maniac.. “Your manhood is gonna be next and I'm sure they're gonna love it..” Damian casually mentioned as he nodded at one of the men in the dark and they immediately knew what it wanted..

said Eskylrious with a laugh . " What did you just say ?! " said the dark creature . " I said that you were quite funny . " said Eskylrious . " How dare you laugh at me ?! " said the dark creature . " I think it is better to laugh at you than to kill you right away , don't you think ?! " said Eskylrious . " Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! You will kill me ?!....That's what's really funny ! " said the dark creature with a vicious laugh .

After over sixteen-hundred years of living in the dark, I’d sunbathe naked too. “Did you freak Eliza out?” “I did.” He grins. “It was fun.” “Everything is okay at the bar?” I ask, fearing a bit for the answer. The health code violations were fake, but if word got out there were rats at The Taproom, people might not want to go. “Yes,” Lucas says, and I let out a breath of relief. “Luckily, Mondays aren’t busy days for us anyway.” “That’s good to hear.” Lucas smooths my hair back. “We’re still on track for a boring afternoon.”

He frowned all the time and only laughed when something tickled his fancy. When he was frowning you know he was mad, whenever he laughed you know he was in a good mood. Unlike Nathan. What you see wasn't what was real. Nathan laughed all the time, but she could see the depth of darkness in his eyes. She could see how shallow his mirth was. He was a dark, dangerous man and she always felt like his laughter was him pitying everyone around him, because he knew that once he let loose, no one would be able to stand.

" It was then that Helena emerged, not only with the adoption papers but holding aloft a pile of dog breed encyclopedias, a clipboard, and a fuzzy squeaky lobster toy. "I took the liberty of shortening it to three breeds," she declared. "A golden retriever for loyalty, a beagle for comedic relief, or a shiba inu because they literally look like they've been judging you since birth." Vandaulf arched an eyebrow. "Do you want us to get a dog or produce a sitcom?" "I want a pup with attitude," Helena said, placing the pile on the table with a clang. "Ideally one that will growl at someone just considering double-crossing my granddaughter-in-law."

“What?!“ Richard Tyson had his fist clenched in boiling fury. “It was Ursula. I think this is one of her schemes to have me pander to her every sexual whim.“ Arthur spoke with much assurance, narrating in detail his encounter with her earlier. “That scheming witch!“ Richard rasped. His fury was evident in his blue eyes. “Wait till I get my hands on her.“ “Ursula's one thing. The press is another. How could they buy a story so absurd as this?“ Arthur threw the crumpled magazine in a waste bin. “How could they not?“ Richard retorted. “You're one absurd personality. Your absurdity clicked perfectly with the story's.“ Richard gave a fake beam, rubbing at his jawline. “Are you trying to get me ca

“Don’t fuck this up by laughing.” He laughed harder, and I caught the side of him no one ever saw. HJ never really laughed, not like this. He’d momentarily lost the dark side of himself—the empty, hollowing side that sucked at your soul when he looked at you—and appeared like a genuinely carefree guy in his twenties.

Sam spits and gets all worked up when Aziel starts to laugh and it's always the same with Sam's short temper. "Can you two stop it!" I say when I see Grayson shake his head while he walks over to the sideboard and starts to make himself a sandwich and place them on a plate before he comes back. "Oh, you got some sausages! I love sausages with flavor!" Sam says and I just can't hold my thought to myself. "You hear Grayson, now you down have to wash your wiener anymore. She likes it with flavor!" I say out loud when the whole table falls silent for a short moment before everyone burst out laughing, I see Sam drops her sausage and wipe the corners of her eyes.

The cracks never opened so much in my soul and my gnawed heart never felt so much pressure than now. “I don't know why you start crying, be thankful that you're still breathing. “Maybe it's better to die. “You don't want to die, Luna. “She states with sarcasm. I don't answer him. He is an idiot, a fucking rapist and murderer. It is all that and other adjectives that define a macabre being. “Despite being inexperienced, I had a good time,” he says deliberately.

“…I’m going to have your seat.” A small pause. Not for effect. For certainty. “At the head of that boardroom.” Silence. Real silence. The kind that stretches. Then Julian laughed. Not the controlled, quiet amusement he usually showed. This was different. Deeper. Darker. Real. The sound filled the room, echoing softly off the walls. “Good,” he said. And for the first time He looked genuinely pleased Excited. He walked toward her slowly. Every step closing the distance between them.