Best Dark Humor Novels & Stories

“That stupid man is not worthy!” “You were the one making him a judge!” “It is because of you that we had to!” “I think brothers and sisters we both agree on cutting that unworthy head!” “How dare you?!” “How dare you dare him?!!” I looked at Mr Darking and I saw him smirking, mocking the scene. “This bunch of fools,” he said “Do you know why on earth they are quarreling?” “Obviously I don’t. But I have the feeling it is quite a stupid reason.”

“Lies! He takes longer showers than I do. Claims it’s ‘thinking time.’” The audience laughed. Jada: “Biggest pet peeve?” Marlene: “He leaves coffee mugs everywhere.” Me: “She steals my hoodies and never gives them back.” More laughter followed from the audience. Jada: “Dream vacation?” Both of us, at the same time: “Anywhere quiet.” The crowd went “aww” again. Last question: “What’s next for you two?” Marlene looked at me, eyes soft. “Building a life,” she said simply. “The one we want. Not the one anyone else expects.”

He chuckled, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Eryndor Darkazov! Don't make me ask again. Where is she?” “What's going to happen if you ask again? You're going to kill me? Well, do it. That's what spawns and monsters like you do anyway.” He laughed mockingly, wiping his bloody lips. He cracked his jaw, setting it back into place, then lifted his gaze to meet mine. His eyes held this darkness, coated with hatred, and he suddenly burst into laughter. “Isn't my acting so good? Xlynor would drag you into his darkness, I'm doing this for you, I'm giving you the freedom you deserve.” He laughed harder, then suddenly stopped like he was controlled.

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

“You put it on every day before the uniform. But some things manage to pierce through.” That was when they discovered a peculiar, dark humor that only those who flirt with danger every day can cultivate. They started laughing at things that would horrify an ordinary civilian. Vick told him about a thief who tried to escape by jumping into a trash can and got stuck. Devon laughed about a situation where an angry cat attacked the crew during a minor kitchen fire, making it more dangerous than the flames themselves. They laughed not because the situations were funny, but because the absurdity was a necessary release valve. It was a secret language of survivors.

Noah flinched, “Well, let’s look at the bright side… at least he didn’t vaporize himself.” Blackie snorted, “…he can’t vaporize himself any more than you can soothe yourself.” “Oh. Well… at least he didn’t vaporize the water he’d already drunk?” “Yeah, good thing that one finely steamed stomach wasn’t on the menu…” “…Blackie …I realize that black humor fits in well with your name… and personality… but there is such a thing as being too black!” QAQ (≖_≖) “Is that a veiled insult where you tell me that I shouldn’t be myself, Black?”

Marcus said, matter of fact. Derek laughed, “ohhhhhh no! Rest in peace bachelor pad.” “Yeah so, about that, you’ll live without me for a few hours, won’t you,” I said, punching Derek in the shoulder. “Yeah yeah I guess, someone will have to hold me and tell me I’m pretty,” Derek said, hugging Marcus in a dramatic fashion. “You’re so not my type but maybe if you grew a beard, you have potential,” Marcus said, not even looking up from his screen.

“HAHAHAHAHHA!” “I can’t believe our alpha is so…. HAHAHAHA!” “WEAK! HAHAHAHAHAH!” It was Augustus who continued Amadeo’s words, bursting out in laughter all together. Even Theodore was chuckling embarrassedly, hiding his laughter but his face says it all. He’s laughing at Dark too! “ENOUGH!” Dark slammed his hand on the table again. But fortunately, it didn’t break in two anymore. He stood up, his face as dark at the Northern stormy skies.

The seating arrangements were quite tricky but we still ended up at a good seat. And soon, the show started. "Hello everyone, my name is Justin and I'm your comedian for today." He said and the crowd roared with applause. "So something happened to me a week ago that I want to share with you lot." He began. "My girlfriend dog died and I got her another one but she was upset." "I asked her why.." "And she screamed - what would I do with two dead dogs?" Justin said and the crowd roared with laughter. I laughed too. I've always found dark humor funny anyways. I looked to my side where Eve sat but she didn't seem amused at all.

he said, shrugging. I giggled at that statement. “The hottest thing that’s ever happened to you? Yeah right, you’ve probably slept with over a hundred different girls and done goodness knows what with them and to them, and you didn’t even get my top off before I freaked out,” I said sarcastically, feeling like an idiot. He didn’t need to lie to make me feel better.