Best Dark Humor Novels & Stories

I deadpanned and the bastard actually looked amused. “Touche.” Dark shrugged. “Anyway, I think I’ll just stick with Goddess. It has a certain ring of irony to it, doesn’t it? Like an all-powerful being, but you’re actually… Weak.” Dark’s mocking only served to enrage me further. Sucking in a deep breath, I attempted to calm myself before I launched across the two-meter gap and strangled the man. “Do you think you’re the only one who can play mind games?” I narrowed my eyes at him and Dark just smirked.

I hit my head with my palm "stupid, so fucking stupid!" Tears were rushing down my eyes in their torrents. "Are you ok babes?" Kevin rushed up to me with a worried look on her face. I was heaving like a mad woman. She engulfed me in a hug. "I know that he is your man but are you not feeling a little too strongly for his dad?" That was Kevin, always looking for ways to lighten up the mood. Dark humor she always said makes the world go round. But I couldn't even laugh at the joke at this moment since I realized that I was the joke myself. For believing in Darius again and putting my heart on the line.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

The dark circles were concealed and I couldn't have asked for more. I opened my bedroom door and walked into the kitchen to find my two oh-so-flaming-hot bosses preparing breakfast. The smell of pancakes engulfed my senses making my stomach to rumble loud. Their heads turned and I did the most stupid thing in life. "That wasn't my stomach. It was probably a motorbike downstairs!" I thumbed in the window direction. They stared at me for a second before they looked at each other- then busted out laughing. Great! Just great! But wait, did I mention that Hardin's laughter was the best? Man that guy was going to be the death of me. I wasn't used to the bright and laughing Angry Bird. But when he

I needed to know I’m not gonna die today. “You already suggested dying,” he jumped over a tree trunk and continued his journey, not staring to the sides for even a second. “Are you kidding me? That was a…was…that was some kind of joke.” “Mine too,” he scoffed. “Dark humor girly huh,” he stopped and stared down at me. “As much as you like dark humor, trust me, you don’t want to be here when it gets dark.” He turned around and walked away, “Better keep up.”

he sounded so level headed, so calm and collected- it turned me on for some reason. I thought I’d be offended. But all I could do was laugh, this drink is working. He looked at me with amusement, he probably thinks I’m crazy. “Well I guess we’re both fools for falling in love. Cheers to that” with that, I down the remainder of my drink. He chuckles, damn he sounds so good. “You’re funny, but I’d like to believe it’s only because your drunk right now” I gasped “I’m very offended! I’m the funniest woman you’d ever meet. My sense of humor is unmatched, sober or drunk; but recently, I just laugh at myself. It’s pitiful, almost comical you know?”

I let out a sarcastic smile, “have fun inhaling carbon dioxide there.” With that, they burst out laughing. “We really need to think ways to put some humor inside your brain!” Ave exclaimed, still laughing. I pursed my lips. “I don’t need that.” “As expected from you,” Rebel chuckled. I roll my eyes heavenwards. I don’t need some humor. A bitter smile placed against my lips. I only need someone who’ll save me from this hell. “How about this?” “Your showing too much skin.” “This one?” “Too short.”

My fits of giggles turned into full-blown laughter thanks to my intoxication. Dark humor was just my type. “You are funny,” I said. “But seriously, what happened?” “I take upon boxing as fitness. I recently found out a friend of mine passed away. My emotions got ahead of me.” I frowned and my body slumped. “I am so sorry to hear that.” “Don’t worry,” he said. Feeling bad, I decided to change the topic. I waved down to the waiter and ordered another drink. It was delivered not long after. No wonder he deflected so much and was a bit annoyed when I continued to pry. He lost someone important to him.

“I do not fall.” There was a pause. “No,” he said calmly. “You just look very funny while slipping.” The line went dead. I stood there for a long time. Then I began laughing again. Because if I did not laugh, I might start screaming. The televisions behind me kept talking. The city kept moving and for the first time in my life, I understood what it felt like to be the joke. But jokes can turn dark very quickly and I am very good at dark.

It was almost as if she was enjoying the banter, despite herself. 'What a strange person!' He thought. 'She's indeed strange until she whack your ass pretty bad!' Dark replied to him and the two shared a chuckle. "You're impossible!" Ara exclaimed, throwing up her hands in frustration. "I swear, you're more stubborn than a mule!" Dark's ears perked up at the insult, but he just chuckled, his chest puffing out even more proudly. "Hey, that's not fair," he said. "Mules are nice. I'm just... persistent."