Best Dark Jokes Novels & Stories

I muttered, “if I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t poison you. I’d shoot you instead.” Their mouths dropped open, and I realized too late that I shouldn’t be joking about something like that. A nervous laugh fell from my lips. “I—I was only joking. You’d be able to smell poison from a mile away, and I know you’ll get the gun away from me within seconds.” Devrim was the first to break the silence. “You humans have a sick sense of humour. I don’t really see what’s so funny in what you said.” “I’m sorry.”

" The lights dimmed, and the party turned into a lively dance floor. While Luna felt unsure about dancing, Eva joined in, moving gracefully. A waiter approached and offered her a drink, but suddenly creating an unexpected mishap, an accidental collision amidst the energetic dancing crowd caused the drink to splash on her hand and dress." "Hey, are you mad?" she screamed loudly, but the loud music drowned out her voice. The waiter, offering a simple apology with a smile, left the scene. Shaking her head, she muttered, "He's a jerk, even though he made a mistake, and he's smiling. Weird." She went to the counter and asked, "Where's the bathroom?"

She had a soft smile on her face as she stirred a large pot of mushroom soup. Amanda rolled her eyes. "Look at her acting like she owns the place." "She's trying too hard," Mara whispered with a smirk. Amanda huffed. "Everyone's treating her like she's the sweetest thing in the pack. Why are they even laughing at her jokes? She's not even funny." "She's not even a pack member!" Mara added, narrowing her eyes. Amanda shook her head in irritation. "This is getting worse. I should be the one preparing things for Jake... not her."

“Lies! He takes longer showers than I do. Claims it’s ‘thinking time.’” The audience laughed. Jada: “Biggest pet peeve?” Marlene: “He leaves coffee mugs everywhere.” Me: “She steals my hoodies and never gives them back.” More laughter followed from the audience. Jada: “Dream vacation?” Both of us, at the same time: “Anywhere quiet.” The crowd went “aww” again. Last question: “What’s next for you two?” Marlene looked at me, eyes soft. “Building a life,” she said simply. “The one we want. Not the one anyone else expects.”

He was glowing with pride, while Vanessa sat right next to him, looking every bit like the star of the night. I was seated near the serving entrance and was basically invisible. After several rounds of drinks, the atmosphere in the room turned vulgar. A few male colleagues who loved telling dirty jokes started running their mouths again under the influence of alcohol. "Vanessa's got serious charm. She even managed to crack a tough nut like Gilla Group!" "Exactly. The kind of allure Vanessa has? That's nothing some bookish little girl can compete with. If you ask me, talking business in the conference room is nowhere near as effective as talking at the dinner table, right, Vanessa?"

Why call me nerd every damn time ? I hated that word !! “None of your damn business, dumb fvck,” I replied, the anger coming from somewhere else. He smelt like oh gawd, did he sleep with the entire female university population here ? “Wow, you called me dumb. That is the joke of the century,” Lex laughed out loud while slapping his knee dramatically. Drama Queen, ughh !

“That was... something.” He didn’t even flinch. “Tough crowd,” he muttered under his breath. Tough crowd? Was this a boardroom or open mic night? --- Then came the coffee break. I’d barely made it to the break room when he cornered me with another one of his “brilliant” jokes. “What do you call a sad cup of coffee?” he asked, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. Against my better judgment, I played along. “What?” “A depresso.”

Why call me nerd every damn time ? I hated that word !! “None of your damn business, dumb fvck,” I replied, the anger coming from somewhere else. He smelt like oh gawd, did he sleep with the entire female university population here ? “Wow, you called me dumb. That is the joke of the century,” Lex laughed out loud while slapping his knee dramatically. Drama Queen, ughh !

Finally, I got a proper look at them: one was plus-sized like me, with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes behind thick glasses, she remined me of my sisters; the other had deeper brown skin than mine, a height and body of a super model and a beautiful healthy afro. “Don’t let him get to you,” the second woman said with a warm smile. I sighed. “I shouldn’t have gone to that fast food in the first place. Why do people insult others and call this ‘dark humor’? What’s funny about cruelty and humiliation?” The slim woman’s expression hardened. “He’s a serial jerk—makes nasty comments about women he dislikes and flirts with the ones who fit his ‘type.’ His dad owns the place, so he acts like

6 All I could hear was my deep breaths, I had darkness all around me and I couldn’t fathom how I could help myself get through it, the black and white shades were surrounding me and I was finding a way out. Suddenly a manly voice echoed, “hey hot piece,” it travelled across my mind like a bullet, “whassup huh? how’s you doing,” his voice was making me obnoxious, wanting me to get it out through some way but I was unable to throw it out, instead, It grew further.