Betrayed Myself Novels & Stories

The me of that day had retreated from that statement. The me of today wanted to snarl—not at her, but at myself. But just like every other memory, it only sent me into a spiral of condemnation. How could I possibly change anything now? Now that I had betrayed her and hurt her and… I lifted my head and flared my nostrils, sucking at the air as panic flowed through me. My entire body—hell, my soul ached with grief and self-loathing. The higher the sun rose, the more clearly I saw myself. And the more painful it became.

The doors opened and closed as people moved in and out, the laughter spilling into the night. They looked free in a way I hadn’t felt in days. “I don’t trust myself,” I confessed. “What if I do something I can’t take back?” Anita’s expression softened, just a little. “Then that’ll be your choice. Not his and not mine.” I swallowed. “I don’t want to betray him.” She scoffed. “Betray him? He already walked away. He betrayed you first, anything you do, is just a reaction.” “That doesn’t make it hurt less.”

I rushed on, the dam breaking now that it had begun, my voice tumbling fast and jagged. “He cornered me in the hall… he didn’t give me room, he didn’t give me air. I said no with my mouth, but my body—” My voice splintered, shame blistering across my skin. I bit the rest back, but the truth was already spilling, too bitter to hold in. “My body betrayed me.” My breath hitched, a sharp sob caught in my chest. “And I let it happen. I hated him. I hated myself more.”

This time, there wasn't even a moment's pause before the answer left my lips. "Ryan is my friend, nothing more than that…. Please believe in me.” Before I could think better of it, my fingers tightened around the collar of his shirt. The movement surprised both of us, and my voice trembled as I forced the words out. "I betrayed your trust." The admission tore through me far more painfully than saying it ever should have. "I know what I did." Tears blurred my vision until his face became little more than an outline standing in front of me. "I know I hurt you." My grip on his collar tightened slightly. "But my feelings were never a lie."

I pushed myself up from the floor, pacing the room like I was trying to outrun my own mind, my hands running through my hair in frustration as I tried to piece myself back together. “This ends here,” I told myself firmly, stopping in the middle of the room and pointing at absolutely nothing like I was scolding a child, “whatever that was… it ends here.” Because it had to. There was no other option. I was a guest in this house. Yssa trusted me. She loved me. And I… I was betraying that trust in the worst way possible. The thought of her finding out made my chest tighten painfully, my breath catching as guilt washed over me all over again.

In reality, she was leveraging our relationship to secretly extract orders from my family's business, feeding her soon-to-fail company and presenting it as if it were her own achievement. After all the betrayal, I looked at her with nothing but contempt. "What else do you have to say? About how you've been feeding off behind my back?" In front of everyone, I exposed Madeline's filth without holding back. "You used my connections to build your damn company, then came home pretending to be broke and pitiful. You even tried to drag our daughter into a bone marrow match for your other child. And you call yourself human?" My words cut through the silence like a knife. The crowd instantly erupted.

The one whose trust I was shattering in this moment of weakness. And I was deep inside someone else, the system finally quiet for the first time in days while my soul screamed in silent, devastating betrayal.

"I'm ruining your shirt..." He didn't answer that. Instead, after a long pause, he asked softly, "What happened?" The question shattered whatever composure I had left. "I..." My voice cracked. "I don't know..." Another sob escaped. "I don't know what to do anymore." Silence settled between us for a few seconds, broken only by my uneven breathing. "I..." I swallowed painfully. "I betrayed Maya.” I whispered slowly. "I promised her..." My breathing hitched. "I promised her I wouldn't go to watch him play."

I realised that I had just beaten that purpose. I strangely felt like I had betrayed him from the inside.

And then the realization hit me hard. They betrayed me. The very people I trusted with her safety had gone without a trace. Heat rushed through me, and I could feel my pulse thundering in my ears. My head snapped toward the screen, my veins pulsing with rage, as my muscles locked, and I barely held back the urge to smash something. “They betrayed me…” I said, more to myself, my voice like steel. “Those bastards betrayed me.” My eyes darkened. A dangerous stillness settled in my body, but my jaw ticked hard.