Birthday Haiku #funny

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

Getting married should be one of the wishes humans tend to make, especially to be with the one they love, right? But what happens when a human wishes for nothing in his or her life, but wealth, and nothing else, not even happiness? Meet Emma Maxwell, a twenty five years old wealthy lady, who had been broken many times, because of love, and for that, she vowed to never fall in love again. Like every other person, Emma had always wished to know the feelings of love, to give and to get it in return, but relationship never seemed to be her thing, as she always ended up being the victim of one sided love. After trying series of relationship, without any, working out for her, she decided to give up on love, and started sleeping around with men. As she always said to any man that approaches her for love "that shit ain't for me, I just wanna get laid, and we go our separate ways. But what happens, when her parents, especially her mom, desperately wants her to get married, and not just getting married, but to her friend's son? Do you think she'll agree to it?....

Xavier is on the verge of giving up and settling for what his life is -grueling, onerous, and insipid. Sierra is a woman with dreams as big as the sun but a heart as rigid as a rocky mountain. She is constantly facing obstacles and has a hard time letting go and healing from events of her past. These two are least likely to make a match but when the odds are in favor, hope blossoms for them. On the other hand, Xander is an accomplished man with the power kings crave and intellect that the world envies atop a slight maniacal charm. Between the two underground kings, Xavier and Xander, lies the only queen left- Sierra -she has to choose between a mysterious love full of surprises or love that she could only dream of. In this compelling novel, we take a new approach to whimsical romance, banter, and the grim side of reality. Find out how the story unfolds, twists, and turns in this revolutionary book - My Altered Mate. by Lothaire.

Upang huwag matuloy ang arrange marriage ni Franki Avella sa lalaking hindi pa niya nakikita at nakikila, nag pasyang maglayas ang dalaga. Nag disguised siya bilang pangit na babae sa katauhan ni Fancy upang walang may makakilala sa kanya. Namasukan siyang kasambahay nang binatang si Argel Montero. Meet Argel Montero - Tall, dark and handsome na secretly inlove sa kababata nito na si Steffie Carion. Na may iba naman na minamahal. Katulad ni Franki Avella ay biktima din ang binata nang arrange marriage ng mga magulang nito. Asot-pusa kung silang dalawa ay mag kasama na nauwi din sa pag mamahalan, na humantong din sa pag-iiwanan. Ngunit sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana. Dahil ang lalaking ayaw ni Franki pakasalan ay walang iba kundi, si Argel Montero ang lalaking minsan na niyang nakasama at minahal. Minahal magpahanggang ngayon...

After a night of reckless indulgence, driven by the intoxicating allure of alcohol, her life began to unravel. She watched helplessly as everything she held dear - her lover, her family, her flourishing career - slipped away. Following her father's mysterious and untimely death, she transformed from a wealthy heiress into a humble rural dweller. Years later, returning to the bustling streets of New York with her two young children, she was determined to unearth the hidden truths of her past. Who was the enigmatic father of her children? What secrets surrounded her father's demise, and who was responsible for the downfall of their once-mighty family business? In her quest for justice, she confronted a world veiled in corporate conspiracies and personal vendettas. Yet, beneath the city's frenetic surface, a more profound darkness awaited. In the heart of this journey for truth and redemption, her two innocent children became her beacons of hope. Their laughter, innocence, and unwavering love provided her with the strength to face a world as unpredictable as it was unforgiving. Amidst the chaos of New York, her children were the anchors that kept her grounded in the face of adversity, offering the courage to confront a capricious world.

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Hazel doesn’t like boys, in fact, she stays as far away from them as possible. She wears baggy clothes, doesn’t do makeup and tries her best to go unnoticed. Her plan worked… for a while, until she got the baddest boy in her university hot on her tails. Worst of all? He is her roommate. How will she possibly survive ? Cover by : FatimaZahra970 (Wattpad)

Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course. Hazel was rejected by someone she loved and was told that he would be engaged to her deadly foe. In great despair, she went to a bar and met this handsome guy (Zac). They drank a lot and played games. Under the influence of alcohol, they got married. However when they came back to her senses, they decide to make things right, but it's hard to get a divorce now because she wants to use the dramatic yet genuine marriage to keep her proud in front of her deadly foe. Zac on the other hand was the future heir to one of the richest and prosperous families. Although he was endowed with an otherworldly handsomeness, he was known to be as cold as ice and had a natural dislike for women although they always craved after him like bees to a honey pot. But for some unknown reason, he finds something unique about Hazel which he can’t explain. Perhaps, it were her eyes which were limpid and pure like autumn water and sparkled like azure pools in the morning sunlight… Would it be possible that they fall in love with each other in the future? Take part in this amazing piece, and experience a story filled with various mysteries and incredible twists as she uncovers the mysteries surrounding Zac who decides to hide his identity and tremendous background in order to win her heart genuinely.

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.