Booktok Emojis

There’s always a saying in the married world. “Love endures all.” And I’ve always believed that lie. I’ve always fantasized that Andrea would someday understand what I felt about him. That if I endured a little longer, he would be kind to our children. I always hoped that we could end up happy. But I was wrong. It was all an illusion. Being in a cold and loveless marriage alone was pain. But being disrespectful toward me with my sister and treating our kids like they didn’t matter, was hell. Andrea and I had been married for three years without warmth. His intended bride was supposed to be my step-sister, Lily. But it all came crashing down after a night of a drugged encounter that led to pregnancy. He was forced to choose me instead of my step-sister. Stupid me, I fell in love with him anyway. Even when I knew that he was having a thing with her. Even when he chose to humiliate me. I still believed I held a place in his heart. Until he threw a divorce agreement to my face. Tired and fed up with my cold and miserable life, I left with my kids. Guess what? I found my Mr. Right. A man who always stood by me. A man who my children proudly called Dad. Look who’s curling on their knees now?

On the tenth day of my postpartum recovery, my husband, Deputy Commander Harvey Wyatt, uploads a photo of me breastfeeding my newborn in a disheveled state to the department's group chat. Obviously, that photo was taken without my knowledge. "See? After having a kid, she's as loose as a sack. It makes me sick just looking at her. I much prefer my side piece, who's nice and tight." A few female colleagues send sweating emojis to the group. The majority of the chat, however, consists of the male colleagues' perverse silence. While I continue to burp my baby with one hand, my tears land on the screen. In order to give birth to this baby, my pelvic bone was sawn in half, which causes me so much pain that I can't even walk properly. But all I get in return is my own husband body-shaming me in front of hundreds of people. I don't bother arguing with Harvey at all. Half an hour later, I drag my broken body all the way to the commander's office with a divorce agreement as well as the chat history over the past ten days, which has been printed out, in my hands.