Comic Puns Novels & Stories

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

Maybe he'd disguised it as a rash? "She's a bit busy at the moment, Father!" The demon rolled his hips down, mashing my cheek into the rough-hew of the centuries-old confessional chair, hairy swollen balls striking me in the chin. "Just a little…tongued tied!" Ugh, the puns! Why did they always think they were funny? They had as much wit as a fucking frat boy ten sheets to the wind on a Thirsty Thursday! Imbeciles! Bingo! There we are, right on the taint!

"Cardboard and suffering?" "Exactly." Jonathan’s eyes lit up, happy to see even a tiny smile. "And if that doesn’t work, I’ve got jokes. Why did the painter go to jail?" Lucy shook her head, still wiping tears. "Because he was framed!" A surprised giggle escaped her. "Oh no… that’s actually terrible." "I’ve got more," he warned with a playful grin. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "…What?" "An impasta!"

status to flirt with female colleagues from other departments. I tolerated it, telling myself he was just networking. But now, just to impress Miguel and get ahead, he couldn't wait to trample all over me. I let out a short, humorless laugh. "Todd Westman, what right do you have to lecture me?" His eyes darted around for a second before he raised his voice even louder. "I'm just saying this as a colleague who knows right from wrong! You should know what's good for you, Macy!" Looking at his hypocritical, revolting expression, I couldn't even be bothered to argue. I picked up the iced coffee on my desk and, without hesitation, splashed it straight in his face.

“In the middle of a dark forest, a man and a woman have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman replies, ‘Me too. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’” Then I burst into loud laughter. ********* “Stop it, Conan. For Christ’s sake.” I laughed frantically to get away from him. A chuckle broke out while he tickled my neck, armpits, and waist. “If you don’t stop being childish, I will surely kill you.” “Would you like me to tell you another joke?” “Oh, no!” I blurted out. “I’ll pee in my gown if you don’t stop your dirty jokes.”

I laugh, forced laugh to be specific, and scratch my neck. “Hehe yeah!” I said, I was awkward from his pun that isn’t really that funny. “Oh! The Luna laughed!” I was startled from his sudden outburst. “See that Caleb? You said I’m not punny but Luna shown otherwise!” I saw Caleb rolled his eyes as Levi laugh his heart out from his “punny pun”. I smiled from their bond. “Please Luna, don’t encourage Levi with his jokes.” Caleb said with his pleading eyes. I didn’t know what to say nor react but I manage to nod.

She giggled and shook her head before placing a kiss to my lips. “Good because my cock quite likes you too. He’s very cocky about that very excellent blowjob you gave him. He dreamed about your mouth for years,” I said, waggling my eyebrows. Camden snorted from the doorway as he looked at me. “Please tell me that you’re not one of those pun guys.” “I like his crappy puns.” Jadelynn stuck her tongue out at him. I smirked at him and nodded to her. I knew they were crappy, but she did like them. That was why I kept making them. They were not for my own benefit at all.

I asked him. “What's so funny?” he asked, irritation laced in his voice. “You're so funny, uncle. Sometimes, I wonder why you didn't go into comedy.” sarcasm dripped as I spoke. “Your highly respected Karl Palmer has been arrested and you are here laughing. What's so funny?” “Why would anyone dare to arrest Karl Palmer? Can't you just think of anything else that could sound real?” he spat. “You know what else won't be real to you? Your life in jail,” I countered.

"Not me. I'm a bastard and straight, in case you forgot. I meant anyone else who isn't an obsessive idiot stalker." The tension spiked, sharp and hostile. For a moment, I considered lunging across the table and breaking his jaw. I could tell from the way the human's fists tightened he'd welcome it. He was actively taunting me. But then Conan raised a hand between us and blurted out: "Okay! Okay. How about a joke I've heard before? Let's see... Why aren't Koalas considered bears?" Silence. "...Because they never had the Koala-fications!"

“You know, Ruby, we learned a joke yesterday. Want to hear it?” I nod eagerly, intrigued by the joke that has captured their attention. “Alright,” Ethan begins, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Why don’t grumpy people like corn on the cob?” Playing along, I pretend to ponder the question. “Hmm, I’m not sure. Why don’t they?” “Because they think it’s ‘a-maize-ing’ that anyone could be happy!” Ethan bursts into laughter, and soon, the infectious giggles spread throughout the room.