Contoh Teks Anekdot Stand Up Comedy

Satya Cordovez never imagined her simple life as a nanny could spiral into chaos overnight. It started with an invitation—an exclusive, high-society event na hindi niya dapat pinuntahan, pero sinama siya ng amo niyang mapilit. Sa unang pagkakataon, nakatikim siya ng mamahaling alak at sa sobrang saya ng gabing 'yun, she let her guard down. Lasing na lasing siya, her memories of the night a blur. Ang huling natatandaan niya ay ang mapanuksong ngiti ng isang lalaking hindi niya kilala at ang init ng kanyang tingin na tila ba siya lang ang nakikita nito sa buong kwarto. Kinabukasan, nagising siya sa isang kuwarto na napakalaki na parang kuwarto na ng isang hari. Napansin din niya na may suot na siyang wedding ring sa kanyang daliri. Sa tabi niya, naroon si Colter Alcazan, ang kilalang trillionaire na hindi lang makapangyarihan, kundi isa ring tanyag na bachelor na hinahabol ng lahat. “Good morning, Mrs. Alcazan,” bati nito sa kaniya na may confident na ngiti. “Wait, what?” Napaangat siya ng upo habang nanginginig ang boses at tinitingnan ang singsing sa kaniyang Daliri. “You’re my wife now,” sagot ni Colter, his voice dripping with authority. Satya’s life just turned into a whirlwind she wasn’t prepared for—and there was no way out.

Isang mainit na gabi, ang unang pagkakamali ko. But the hell I care? Dinala ako sa langit ng lalaking iyun, magpabebe pa ba ako? sh*t gabi gabi kong hinahanap ang katawan ng lalaking iyun kaya gabi gabi akong bumalik sa bar para sa kanya. Doon ko lang rin siya makita sa bar sa gabi. Nanlaki ang mata ko ng makita ang news at nakita ko ang mukha ng ng lalaki, he's a billionaire!? the hell! may asawa ba yan!? Mabilis kong sinearch ang pangalan sa internet. Oh, single but delikado parin ang buhay natin sa lalaking iyan. Iiwasan ko na yan, hindi na ako babalik sa bar. Every night hinanap siya ng aking katawan pero tiniis ko lahat at ako nalang ang nagpapaligaya sa sarili ko. Hanggang sa nahanap ng lalaki ang condo ko. Umaga, tanghali, gabi man ginawa namin iyun pero syempre nagiingat kami lalo na ako! lugi ako pag may makatakas na sperm. Pag bumisita iyun wala kaming ginawa kung ang painitin ang isa't isa. Sa kusina, kwarto, sa hagdanan, sa sofa.. kahit saang sulok sa condo ko. Ngayon naiisipan niyang gawin namin iyun sa iba't ibang lugar, like beach, hotel at marami pa. Sino naman ako para tumanggi diba? argh! Pero hindi ko inakalang tumibok na ang puso ko para sa kanya. Hindi na ang katawan ko ang naghahanap sa kanya, ang buong pagkatao ko na. Delikado ako pero anong magagawa ako? napapasaya niya ako, hindi naman ako. Napapasaya ko rin siya. Fubu lang ang relasyon pero ginusto ko to, panindigan ko.

My mother was and is a lot of things, but I never knew she would dare leave her Billionaire husband on the Alter stranded. My soon to be step-father was a lot of things, but he wasn’t one to accept humiliation. And for that reason he made me Amelia, the daughter of my runaway mother to take her place on the alter.

I sacrificed half my life to make a deal with a witch to be with Rook. After one night together, Rook coldly promised the packs to be allied through marriage. However, on the second day of our wedding, he left the territory to be on the battlefield. He was gone for three years. I brought up our son, Ari, on my own in our territory while I waited for his return. Three years later, he suddenly came home and brought his sweetheart and their daughter along. He coldly ordered, "Move to the basement with your son and give your room to my daughter." For three years, he had built a life with them while I waited alone. I threw the divorce papers in his face and walked away from him with my son. The princes of the Heavenly Wolf Pack would never be trapped by a man's love again. What I want is to rule the packs and become a queen.

Si Jela ay isang simpleng saleslady na nagtatrabaho sa isang high-end na department store. Sanay na siya sa simpleng buhay, tahimik, iwas sa gulo at paulit-ulit na routine sa buhay—trabaho, bahay, ulit. Iwas siya sa mga katrabaho upang maiwasan ang mga intriga sa kanyang buhay. Gusto niyang panatilihing lihim ang kanyang buhay, lalo na pagkatapos ng isang gabing pagkakamali at nagbunga ang kapusakang iyon. Si Jupiter ay kilala sa kanyang malupit na taktika sa negosyo, ngunit kulang ang kanyang personal na buhay. Pagkatapos ng nakaka-stress na meeting sa kumpanya, naisipan niyang pumunta sa luxury bar. He spends a passionate night kasama ang isang kaakit-akit na babae. Sa isang gabi ng kapusakan, walang pangalan, walang contact details ang mayroon sila sa isa't isa. He can't shake the memory of their night together. Bigla kasi siyang na-attach sa babae mula sa 'di malilimutang gabi. Pursigido siyang hanapin ang misteryosong babae na humatak sa kanyang puso. Habang iniimbestigahan niya kung sino ang babaeng iyon, hindi niya akalaing nasa paligid lang pala ito. Na-recognize niya ang isang pabango na katulad sa pabango ng naka-one night stand niya. Pabango ng isang saleslady na nagtatrabaho sa pagmamay-ari nilang department store. Habang lumalalim ang koneksyon nila, lalo pang lumalaki ang mga sikreto, mga intriga, at mga hadlang sa kanilang dalawa, lalo na ang malaking agwat sa estado ng buhay nila. Ngayon, kaya ba nilang panindigan ang isang pagmamahalan na nagsimula sa isang gabing pagkakamali? Puso ba ang pipiliin o katahimikan para sa lahat?

Alexa had a one night stand with a mafia boss. she was too drunk to remember the events that occured that night. All she could remember was that she had gone to clear her head at the club, and the rest was history. meanwhile, the mafia boss who took her innocence, was head over heels in love with her, and was determined to make her his own.

After catching her boyfriend banging her coursemate, Luna ends up in a club with her friend, in a bid to forget it all. There, she meets this dashing guy who she jumps on without hesitation and requests for wild sex. It was supposed to be a one-night stand— one hell of a one-night stand that gave her shivers, but what she wasn't expecting was to meet him again. Not as the one who helped her brother secure a business deal and the one in whose house she would be spending the next thirty days. His name is Xander Storm— a dashing billionaire and one of the most eligible bachelors in Bayview. The shock goes both ways because the two of them relished the one-night stand and acknowledged that it felt more than one— but weren't expecting to see each other again. What will these thirty days be like? Will they pretend it never happened, or will they give in to the growing feelings that gnawed at their hearts? What will Xander's growing feelings for Luna mean for his revenge against the death of his parents, and for his enemies?

คิดว่าเราเหมาะสมกันไหมล่ะ?! ฉันเป็นสาวบาร์ทำงานกลางคืน ส่วนเขาเป็นหมอสูติลูกครึ่งญี่ปุ่น! ทำงานโรงพยาบาล! หมอสูติ x สาวบาร์ = มันเป็นไปไม่ได้!! แต่ฉันดันไปมีสัมพันธ์ลึกซึ้งกับเขาน่ะสิ!! ฉันคิดว่ามันแค่ฉาบฉวย แค่สนุก เพราะเราอยากเมื่อไหร่ก็เจอ เสร็จเมื่อไหร่ก็แยก.. แต่มันไม่ใช่แค่นั้น อยู่ๆฉันก็เสพติด เป็นโรคขาดเซ็กส์เขาไม่ได้!!

After I announced my exit from the music industry, the public response was overwhelmingly positive. The only person who voiced his objection was my girlfriend's rumored lover, the up-and-coming songwriter Lucas Zacker. He put on a show of sincerity in front of a crowd of reporters. "It's all a misunderstanding. Matthew is an irreplaceable talent in the music industry. I sincerely hope he returns to the stage." I shut off my phone and turned a blind eye to his public plea. In my past life, one of my songs had been identical to his supposedly original single. As such, netizens accused me of plagiarism, cursing me and wishing death upon my family. Frustrated, I posted the entire creation process online, but it couldn't stand up to the timeline. His new song had been released ten minutes ahead of mine. Just because of the ten-minute difference, netizens sent me photoshopped mourning portraits of myself and even went so far as to come to my house and vandalize it with paint. The relentless cyberbullying went on for years, and it drove me into a deep depression. My parents exhausted their life savings trying to clear my name, only for crazed fans to set our house on fire, causing my parents to burn to death. In the end, when his song won an award, I jumped off a building. But who would have guessed that when I opened my eyes again, I was reborn on the very day the new song was set to release.

Fiona had been nothing but a prude in the office, her wild and happening days left far behind for her to feed herself and her sister. But one night to loosen up and have some fun leads to her doing the unthinkable, sleeping with her scary and enigmatic boss. And now suddenly, he is obsessed with her.