Not Like Me
I'm pretty sure that when I get home, my window ladder won't be there anymore.
"Alright, honey. Sure, you and dad can get donuts together. Heavens knows it's early enough. Is that a Grumpy Cat sweater you're wearing? You must have gone to see Brittany, no way you'd go visit your boyfriend wearing that ugly outfit."
"Thanks, mom, now I feel super attractive," I say with defense.
"It's a hideous sweater. Why did I buy you that? We can try again. We can get you another Christmas sweater. Maybe a reindeer or elf one."