Dark Humor Dad Jokes

Mantra yang kau anggap tak lebih dari permainan anak-anak, dan sudah terlanjur kau sebutkan. Rupanya berfungsi dengan baik. Dan mantra itu ternyata memanggil sesosok mahluk mengerikan dari dunia kegelapan yang tidak pernah kau bayangkan. Netra merah, rambut sehitam malam, dengan sayap lebarnya yang berwarna hitam. Kedatangannya membawa hawa dingin yang mencekam, tidak ada tempat untuk kabur. Panggilan seorang gadis membuat sang pangeran kegelapan kembali menginjakkan kakinya di bumi setelah lebih dari seratus tahun bersemayam di singgasananya.

Xiriu, pemuda berparas luar biasa itu harus menyembunyikan jatidirinya hingga ia berusia lima belas tahun. Walau merasa kesal, Xi tak punya pilihan lain selain menuruti keinginan kedua orangtuanya. Hingga suatu malam, seluruh keluarganya dibantai oleh sekelompok iblis. Tidak hanya itu, Xi juga mendapati fakta bahwa ia bukanlah anak kandung dari orang yang merawatnya selama ini. Sedih, kecewa, putus asa, akhirnya Xi melarikan diri dari rumah. Ditemani wanita aneh yang pernah menolongnya, Xi pun memutuskan untuk melakukan perjalanan ke tempat yang seharusnya tidak ia kunjungi. Takdir pun berputar. Sekeras apapun kau menghindar, takdir akan menemukanmu tepat pada waktunya.

The sirens knew how to do only one thing. Kill. Usually, it was just those who travelled their seas, until the greedy ruler of Greake, captured their queen. The sirens ventured into the lands at midnight in search of their Queen, bringing chaos along with them. So many lives were lost from the midnight invasion, as such the humans had a powerful witch, Adora, summon the Pombero to keep the sirens off their lands. King Edwardo got greedy again. With his sword in hand, dripping the blood of their victims, and Adora by his side, he haunted the sirens who were retreating into their seas. The few who survived the slaughter were enslaved by the king and exploited for riches until they died a miserable death. Edwardo didn't stop there. His quest for wealth and power clouded his sense of reasoning. Sick of the bloodshed, Adora performed a dark ritual that brought a temporary calm to both sides. Adora didn't give much thought to the consequences, until she pushed the hideous child out of her womb. Years later, the throne of the Golden seas remained empty, as none of the sirens were powerful enough to contain the darkness that enveloped the throne. Given that half of their powers were locked away in the other half of their hearts given away by the sea to human mates, whom they were bound to love for the rest of their lives for the sake of peace. Princess Almira was not looking forward to finding love. All she needed was the other half of her heart to take over her mother's throne. Since the mates were immune to their manipulative melodies, Almira decided to go in search of him herself with only one plan. Drive a dagger through his heart and retrieve her property.

Laura harus mengantikan kakak untuk menikah dengan kekasihnya. Laura tentu saja menolak, ah soalnya dirinya tak berkutik dengan tangisan mama dan papanya. Mau gak mau dan sangat terpaksa mengantikan kakak untuk menikah dengan kekasihnya. Untuk menyelamatkan nama baik kedua kelurga. Akankah pernikahan mereka bertahan, walaupun keduanya sepakat buat kontra nikah? Di saat rumah tangga mereka lagi adem ayem badai datang tak terduga kakaknya muncul sekian lamanya dengan maksud merebut kembali kekasihnya. Leo suami Laura atau dulu kekasih kakak Laura akan tetep mempertahankan pernikahan atau justru kembali bersama kakak Laura? YUK IKUTI CERITANYA HAY GAES INI CERITA PERTAMA KU YANG BERINSPIRASI DARI JUDUL LAGU LOVE IN THE DARK LAGU ADELE, SEMOGA KALIAN SUKA YA.

Trigger Warning: This story contains explicit adult content, hardcore taboo, possessive dynamics, age gap, themes of obsession, control, and heat-driven mating. The “brothers” in this story are not biologically related. ~ Kyle, Hayden, and their hot stepfather, the Alpha of Crimson Pack who married their mother, share a house that was never meant to feel like home. Their stepfather stopped pretending the moment he caught the scent of Kyle’s pheromones. His touches lingered. His stares burned. And then he told them exactly what he wanted: both of them, together, under him. They should have said no. They didn’t. Now Alpha Daddy has them exactly where he wants them: in his room, in his bed, on their knees. And they’re not just letting him take them. They’re begging for it.

"Cum now, princess." Zeke ordered as he flicked open the lock on the cock cage around Eli's cock and his body convulsed as the long-denied orgasm tore through him. --------- ‎“I need you to—fuck—I need you to hurt me.” ‎There. The silence came. Not shameful. Not violent. Just truth. ‎Zeke ripped the shirt from Eli’s back. calculated. His belt snapped once. Eli flinched, eyes wild. ‎“You don't get color,” Zeke said flatly. “You say red, I won't stop. And until I'm sure you're tamed, I don’t care if you beg. You wanted to feel something? You’re going to feel everything.” ‎The first crack of the belt made Eli jolt. The second had him gasping. ‎By the fifth, he was moaning. ‎By the seventh, he whispered Zeke’s name like a prayer. ------ Two lovers. Then three. Eventually four. A relationship built on dominance, obsession, and unrestrained desire. ‎No contracts. No safe words. No rules—just raw, brutal fucking. A war of ownership. A battle for control. A dangerous game that turns a dominant into a trembling switch under the right hands. ‎ ‎What happens when a dominant with a submissive lover becomes the fixation of another dominant—one with darkness in his veins and sadism in his smile? ‎ ‎What happens when the confident, untouchable dom unravels, his hidden masochism dragged to the surface by the only man ruthless enough to tame him? ‎ ‎What happens when a discarded, shame-soaked nymph, branded an abomination by her family, falls into the hands of three lovers who have no intention of letting her go—who will worship, ruin her, and show her that her hunger isn't sin... it's survival? A twisted journey of control, obsession, and raw desire—unfolding across three sinful tales: Loved in the Dark. Fucked into Obedience. Seduction and Sin.

After years of living separate lives, Arya Sterling and Michael Stone find their paths crossing once again. The love they once shared was shattered when Michael's ex-girlfriend, Lana Fields, re-entered their lives, leaving their relationship in ruins. Years have passed since that fateful encounter, and time has brought change, growth, and healing. A chance meeting in a city far from home reignites old memories and feelings they thought were long buried. The spark between them is undeniable, but the scars of the past still linger. As they navigate through the complexities of their emotions, they must also face the reality of their present. Can Arya and Michael rekindle their love and trust for each other? Or will the ghost of Lana Fields continue to haunt them, especially since she shows up again.

Phen Zaxreyn Hoqez is living like a princess, the Hoqez treasures her, she's like a expensive glass that should not be broken. The princess dreaming a prince in her life, a prince that will love her until her last breath. She has been single since she was born into this world, her standard is high when it comes to men, she wants her first to be her last. But all her dreams will be shattered when she has to get married. It was an arranged marriage agreement between her parents and the man's parents. Her dream of marrying a prince ended up marrying a beast in the dark.

"You were going to be my father-in-law." This is messed up. Gripping my chin, he kisses me. "And now, I'm your plaything, someone you call daddy and get pleasure from. No one will know. Stop thinking about others, or should I stop?" he asks. Ruby, finds her fiance cheating on her, he mocks her and tells her he used her to fool his father into giving him his inheritance early. Ruby's friends suggest she makes a s*x list, which she does, and one night, she is forced to go to her ex-fiance's fathers place to get some of her items she had left there. Only, Alaric, her ex-fiances father has no idea they have split up, and is genuinely shocked when he sees the listed that Ruby created, and one moment of madness, turns into a secret affair between them. Book Two: My four brothers raised me from a young age after my parents death. Their friend Grayson had always lived with us, and I hated him. He seemed to get pleasure from telling my brothers things about me. That all changed, though, when I watched an explicit movie with him, and later found him in the shower pleasuring himself while whispering my name. My brothers will kill him, they may even kill me, but we can't stop ourselves. Something about this been forbidden, makes it so much better.

When Avery Quinn gets fed up with her loveless marriage and the humiliation she was constantly fed with, she leaves with the divorce papers, vowing to herself not to get mixed up with any arrogant billionaire again. But she might have spoken too soon, because she finds herself drawn to another emotionally distant, and cold billionaire - and his 7 year old daughter.