Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

By accident, I stumbled upon my husband's secret. There were cameras covering every corner of our house, but I stayed silent and pretended not to know about them. One day, I faked leaving home and hid in the closet, only to hear my husband fooling around with his mistress. Jared's breath was short from exertion. "Faster. We have less than 20 minutes before Vanessa gets back." His mistress giggled. "Relax. Her eyesight is terrible." Jared growled. "Shut up! Vanessa is my wife. Say another thing about her, and I'll throw you out!" What he didn't know was that my eyesight had been cured. My vision was as sharp as anyone else's. I stepped out of the closet with a choked sob and called my brother. "I'll go to Murica."

It's not what you think. Two social worlds collide with words, feelings, behaviours and ideas most unexpected to bring an even more unpredictable end. Lacey Atkins leaves school for a tear and comes back wanting nothing more than to be left alone. Alone in a classroom, Tom Wade sees Lacey and soon comes to want nothing more than to be with her. Her weird and unusual ways all make him the more curious and drawn in.

When my mother went into kidney failure and needed a transplant, it was Pauline Maynard—on the brink of death herself—who gave my mom a second chance at life. Just before Pauline passed, she gripped my hand tightly and whispered her final words. "Summer, Ricky is my only son. He's rebellious… and fragile. Please, take care of him. Just three years, please?" I gave her my word. Then I moved into their home and gave Ricky everything he needed—love, comfort, a sense of safety. For three years, I stayed true to that promise. By the third year, Ricky had transformed. No longer the wayward boy he once was, he rose to become the Mafia Don Ricky Lenza. And I was carrying his child. As I busied myself with wedding plans, I overheard something I was never meant to hear—his voice, low and mocking, as he wrapped another woman in his arms. "Summer? She's just pretending to love me for the sake of my mother's inheritance and a stupid deal. A gold digger like her dreams of marrying me? What a joke." A sharp pain pierced my chest, like thorns stabbing deep beneath the skin. On the way to a prenatal checkup, we were hit in a crash. My baby didn't make it. And my mother, sitting in the passenger seat, shielded me with her life. When I woke up, I stared blankly at the date on my phone. Three days left. That would've marked the end of the three-year promise. I realized then—I'd paid my debt to Pauline in full. It was time for me to go.

Lavish London mansions. A hand-painted Rolls-Royce. And eight dead friends. For the British fixer Robbie Chase, working for the Russian's President most vocal critic meant stunning perks – but also constant danger. His gruesome death is one of 14 that retired British Agent QUINTUS NOONE has linked to Russia – but the UK police shut down every last case. QUINTUS NOONE'S investigation reveals the full story of a ring of death on British soil that the government has ignored.

Si jokos Montreos ay isa sa mga pinakabatang bilyonaryo. Ngunit bago niya makuha ang kanyang posisyon bilang pinakabatang bilyonaryo ay kailangan muna niyang pakasalan ang isang babaeng kakilala lang niya. Wency Cruz, isang babaeng may kakaibang kagandahan. makulit din ito at masayahin, hindi sinasadyang pumirma siya sa isang kasulatan na magpapabago sa kanyang buhay. Isang araw nagising siya na siya pala ang asawa ng batang bilyonaryo. Wala siyang nagawa kundi sundin ang nasa kontrata. At dahil kasal na sila ay kailangan na nilang tumira sa iisang bahay. Pero dahil magkaiba sila ng pinanggalingan sa buhay nahihirapan silang makisama sa isa't isa. Makakaya ba nila ang pagsubok sa kanilang pagsasama kung magkaiba sila ng paniniwala sa buhay? Paano kung isang araw ay biglang sumulpot ang Ex-Boyfriend ni Wency na si Jhonsy at handang ipaglaban siya. Iiwan kaya ni Wency si Jokos para bumalik kay Jhonsy? O mananatili siya sa batang bilyonaryo.

The day before New Year's, my younger brother announced he was bringing his girlfriend home for dinner. Excited, I drove my new car to pick them up, taking my daughter along with me. However, as soon as his girlfriend got in the car, her face darkened. "Henry, you didn't tell me your sister was staying at your place—and with a kid!" she snapped. I frowned and was about to explain when my brother quickly interjected, "She's not staying. After dropping us off, she'll be heading to a hotel." Only then did his girlfriend's expression ease. I swallowed my discomfort and asked my brother what he was planning. He leaned in with a conspiratorial grin and said, "Sis, don't cause any trouble for me, okay? My girlfriend is the daughter of the Cromwell Group's CEO!" My eyes widened in shock. Was not the Cromwell Group the same company my ex-husband had just handed over to me as part of our divorce settlement?

Everyone in the social circle of Kingsford said I was nothing more than a lapdog raised by Charles Mankin. I was always at his beck and call. I did every filthy, ludicrous thing for him under the sun. When he street raced, I rode shotgun. When he drank himself senseless, I made him hangover soup. When he chased girls, I prepared protection for them. Over time, everyone knew: Charles had a dog who never ran, never bit back, no matter how hard he kicked. They all said I must be madly in love with him. Even Charles started to believe it. So he pushed further, more freely, more cruelly, crossing lines as if they never existed. Then came my twenty-fifth birthday. He, in a rare stroke of mercy, said he'd celebrate it with me. But instead, what he got was the news that I was leaving the country. He went berserk, charging through the airport like a man possessed. I peeled his fingers off my wrist one by one, smiling like I'd never been happier. "Don't be stupid," I told him, still smiling. "That was never love." That night, Charles smashed apart his family home like a rabid dog.

Contract marriage. (No string attached) Setting_ Los Angeles. Modern billionaire Romance. Proloque. Aryan Mahir, the CEO of A&M investment company who's produce the best quality brands in the whole Los Angeles, he can be describe to be cold hearted, grumpy, proud and egocentric. In order to maintain his status in the business world, he was to get married immediately, in order to get the biggest contract his rival companies are eyeing. He was set to find a wife as soon as possible. * Mia Johnson, a pity poor lady who suffered to make ends meet, she goes above and beyond just to send her only surviving brother to school, she lost her parents in a car accident, she grew up having almost everything in life, she lived a comfortable life until the world crashed around her and her parents was involved in a car accident that took thier lives, her uncle snatched away everything her parents owned leaving them with no money, and not even a shelter to live in. Everything gets worse when her brother fall very ill and needed an urgent brain tumor surgery, having no money, she tried to begged her uncle to at least help her brother but he threw her out of his house. Wandering around the lonely Street of Los Angeles, she bumped into a billionaire who happened to change her life forever. What happened when Aryan Mahir asked Mia to marry him for four months. For her to save her brother, she had to agree to the contract marriage, loveless marriage to a complete arrogant jerk. Will they love each other or their marriage will end immediately after the contract expires. *

I need to drive to and from work due to a change in my job scope. However, my father-in-law hoards my car and refuses to return it. My husband stands up for him. "How can you be so materialistic? So what if you have to take an electric scooter to work?" So, I sell the car. My husband points at me and snaps, "What right do you have to sell Dad's car?" I look at him calmly. "I've sold the one you drive too."

Book 1 Saints and Sinners She was the light to my dark. The saint to my sinner. with her innocent eyes and devilish curves. A Madonna that was meant to be admired but never touched. Until someone took that innocence from her. She left. The darkness in my heart was finally complete. I avenged her, I killed for her, but she never came back. Until I saw her again. An angel dancing around a pole for money. She didn’t know I owned that club. She didn’t know I was watching. This time I won’t let her escape. I will make her back into the girl I knew. Whether she likes it or not. Book 2 Judge and Jury I can’t stop watching her. I’m not even sure I want to. Taylor Lawson, blonde, beautiful, and totally oblivious to how much dangers she’s in. She’s also the one juror in my upcoming murder trial that hasn’t been bought. The one who can put me behind bars for a very long time. I know I should execute her. After all that’s what I do. I am the Judge. I eliminate threats to The Family. And Taylor is a threat. But I don’t want to kill her. Possessing her, making her love me seems like a much better plan for this particular Juror.