dark humor jokes no limits

Contract marriage. (No string attached) Setting_ Los Angeles. Modern billionaire Romance. Proloque. Aryan Mahir, the CEO of A&M investment company who's produce the best quality brands in the whole Los Angeles, he can be describe to be cold hearted, grumpy, proud and egocentric. In order to maintain his status in the business world, he was to get married immediately, in order to get the biggest contract his rival companies are eyeing. He was set to find a wife as soon as possible. * Mia Johnson, a pity poor lady who suffered to make ends meet, she goes above and beyond just to send her only surviving brother to school, she lost her parents in a car accident, she grew up having almost everything in life, she lived a comfortable life until the world crashed around her and her parents was involved in a car accident that took thier lives, her uncle snatched away everything her parents owned leaving them with no money, and not even a shelter to live in. Everything gets worse when her brother fall very ill and needed an urgent brain tumor surgery, having no money, she tried to begged her uncle to at least help her brother but he threw her out of his house. Wandering around the lonely Street of Los Angeles, she bumped into a billionaire who happened to change her life forever. What happened when Aryan Mahir asked Mia to marry him for four months. For her to save her brother, she had to agree to the contract marriage, loveless marriage to a complete arrogant jerk. Will they love each other or their marriage will end immediately after the contract expires. *

Si jokos Montreos ay isa sa mga pinakabatang bilyonaryo. Ngunit bago niya makuha ang kanyang posisyon bilang pinakabatang bilyonaryo ay kailangan muna niyang pakasalan ang isang babaeng kakilala lang niya. Wency Cruz, isang babaeng may kakaibang kagandahan. makulit din ito at masayahin, hindi sinasadyang pumirma siya sa isang kasulatan na magpapabago sa kanyang buhay. Isang araw nagising siya na siya pala ang asawa ng batang bilyonaryo. Wala siyang nagawa kundi sundin ang nasa kontrata. At dahil kasal na sila ay kailangan na nilang tumira sa iisang bahay. Pero dahil magkaiba sila ng pinanggalingan sa buhay nahihirapan silang makisama sa isa't isa. Makakaya ba nila ang pagsubok sa kanilang pagsasama kung magkaiba sila ng paniniwala sa buhay? Paano kung isang araw ay biglang sumulpot ang Ex-Boyfriend ni Wency na si Jhonsy at handang ipaglaban siya. Iiwan kaya ni Wency si Jokos para bumalik kay Jhonsy? O mananatili siya sa batang bilyonaryo.

A year after my divorce, my ex-husband, Harvey Fisher, pings me in a group chat. "This cold war has gone on for long enough. Come home—let's remarry." I reply, "Have you lost your mind?" Everyone in the group chat tries to convince me to take Harvey back. Meanwhile, he asks, "What have you been doing without me in your life?" I turn to look at my current husband, who's putting our child to sleep. I reply, "Recovering after having a child." The group chat members are initially excited, but they instantly fall silent at my words. Harvey angrily calls me countless times, but I ignore him. His mind is not the only thing he's lost—he's also lost the young woman who once loved him more than life itself.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Isabella Monte is distraught when her family loses everything. Determined not to lose her parents, she swore on her father's hospital bed to get back all they had lost, however her father told her that it was futile as their suffering was caused by Angelo Flores, the wealthiest bachelor in Panama. Angelo would stop at nothing to completely get rid of the Monte's as he blames them for the death of his parents and sister. While at the hospital with her father, Isabella is visited by none other than Angelo and a deal is placed before her. "Marry me and I will let your family go." Against her father's will, Isabella agrees to Angelo's demands. Her hatred for him is stronger than ever as she vows to make him pay for her family's suffering. But, what happens when Isabella finds herself falling for the enemy?

Fiona had been acting as a stand-in lover for five long years, veiling her true power and presenting herself as meek and obedient, tirelessly tending to Darwin's every need, only to be taken for granted. But then news arrived of Darwin's impending marriage to a wealthy heiress. No longer willing to play the role of the submissive substitute, Fiona swiftly cut ties with the scoundrel, concealing her pregnancy, and fleeing. Five years later, she had undergone an astounding transformation, emerging as the heiress to a multi-billion-dollar conglomerate, earning the title of the investment banking goddess, esteemed by all in the sectors of finance. When they finally met again, the one who had searched desperately for five years, losing their sanity in the process, discarded all dignity and pride, humbly beseeching, "Please, do not reject me..."

Book 1 Saints and Sinners She was the light to my dark. The saint to my sinner. with her innocent eyes and devilish curves. A Madonna that was meant to be admired but never touched. Until someone took that innocence from her. She left. The darkness in my heart was finally complete. I avenged her, I killed for her, but she never came back. Until I saw her again. An angel dancing around a pole for money. She didn’t know I owned that club. She didn’t know I was watching. This time I won’t let her escape. I will make her back into the girl I knew. Whether she likes it or not. Book 2 Judge and Jury I can’t stop watching her. I’m not even sure I want to. Taylor Lawson, blonde, beautiful, and totally oblivious to how much dangers she’s in. She’s also the one juror in my upcoming murder trial that hasn’t been bought. The one who can put me behind bars for a very long time. I know I should execute her. After all that’s what I do. I am the Judge. I eliminate threats to The Family. And Taylor is a threat. But I don’t want to kill her. Possessing her, making her love me seems like a much better plan for this particular Juror.

“I wish that, in your next life, you would spend 16 hours a day with your true love—just being together, even if in silence.” – Kate Leslie “I hope in your next life, you’ll only be able to work for someone else—never a boss, never in control. May you feel what it’s like to be commanded, even oppressed, in your job.” – Rex Leslie “I wish that in your next life, every single one of your companions would be from the underworld—no decent people, no respectable connections at all. May you experience the pain of having to interact with the very people you despise, and may you even lower yourself to fear them and obey, trapped by your own fears and prejudice.” – Max Leslie “I hope that in your next life, you’ll be gay—and not just any gay man, but the kind who is submissive, the kind who finds himself under another man. Not just one, either—let’s make two, no, three or maybe four. I want you to experience what it feels like to be completely dominated.” – Kix Leslie ...... Noah Leslie was a self-made successful businessman who unexpectedly got a chance to reborn. However, his new life was not determined by him, but shaped by his family. At first, he had confidence in his family's view of him, but when he heard their true wishes, he was shocked and unable to accept them: to fall in love and nothing but love, never to be a boss, interact with the mafia, and love men. Faced with these unbelievable wishes he could not agree with, Noah had no chance to argue. His new identity filled him with helplessness and rejection, but with no other choice, he had to accept this strange and oppressive second life.

"I know I'm asking for too much but of all the guys out there begging for a second chance I think I deserve it most, Emma. I deserve a second chance. I deserve you." - Damon Montesoir Damon Montesoir's busy life as a Filipino-Spanish International male model was turned upside down when he was involved in a car accident that scarred his modeling career... and his face.

Vivienne Sinclair married Caden Lawrence, hoping her love would melt his cold heart and that he would accept her as his wife sooner or later. But as they say about the best-laid plans, Caden never fell in love with her, nor did he accept her as his wife in front of the world. Three years later, Vivienne is hurt and broken, wanting nothing more than to break this toxic cycle of betrayal and constant rejection. She wants a divorce. “What gives you the right to ask me for a divorce?” he roars, looking angry. “It was you who seduced me! You who insisted on getting married. And now you want a divorce? I don’t think so.” But Vivi is tired of playing the role of a loving and obedient wife. She wants to live her life and explore other options. She wants to find the happiness and joy she was deprived of in her marriage. With the help of her friends and family, Vivi reveals her other identity as the world-class jewelry designer, Jasper Sterling, a name she had built after years of hard work during her failed marriage. She is strong, confident, and capable of living life on her own terms. And it’s time to let the whole world know. During one of the success parties, when Vivienne walks in with a handsome man by her side, everyone starts whispering. “Who is he?” people want to know. “Is she dating him?” Vivi and her new companion look good together. They make a perfect couple. But when Caden sees her with this mystery man, he can barely contain his rage. He pulls her aside and hisses. “You are making a mistake.” She laughs, kisses his cheek, and says, “No, darling. This is the start of my new life.”

A year ago, my father died in battle with a Rogue. As compensation, Silverania's Alpha King, Lacus Kingston, promises that I can choose my own husband. I don't need to wait for the Moon Goddess to send him my way. In this lifetime, I don't pick Perry Cardell again. Instead, I go for his half-brother, Alaric Kingston. Lacus is surprised. After all, everyone in Silverania knows that Perry and I grew up together—we're practically childhood sweethearts. After he saved me from vultures at the age of six, I followed him everywhere he went. My biggest wish since childhood has been to marry him. I smile bitterly and recall my past life. After Perry and I got married, he refused to be intimate with me. I thought it was because he had an indescribable condition. I helped him cover the truth and even comforted him, telling him it wasn't an issue. However, everything changed when he was gravely injured. As I healed him, I discovered my cousin's name—Shirley Lamos—tattooed on his chest. Only then did I realize he wasn't frigid—he just didn't love me. If that is the case, since I've been given a second chance at life, I'll give them my blessings. But later, when I stand before the Moon Goddess in my wedding gown and with Alaric by my side, Perry suddenly descends into hysteria.