Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

“Tell me you hate me,” Mikhail whispered, aggressively pressing the side of my face against his expensive wooden table. I inhaled sharply, fighting back the moan in my throat. “I…” I wanted to force the words out, because I did. I hated him with every fiber of my being, with every drop of the blood in my veins. At the same time, I didn't. I had never put a label on the other thing I felt for him. He would never feel the same, and he would scorn me. “Say it, Marlowe. Say you hate me.” He dared, thrusting hard into me and stealing my breath. “Oh my God,” I cried out, pushing my ass backwards to meet his thrusts despite myself. “You can't say it, can you?” He laughed scornfully. “I… hate you.” I managed, inhaling sharply. He tugged my hair, fucking me harder. “No, you don't.” I couldn't argue, because an earth shattering orgasm snuck up on me and blinded my thoughts. When I recovered, I realized he was not completely wrong. *** *** *** Marlowe had a simple, happy life up until her late teens when she was about to go to college. Her father was murdered in cold blood and her mother fell apart. She was left to take care of herself and her mother, and all her dreams were shattered. She is kidnapped and sold to someone she once knew and was in love with. Mikhail Romanov. He is an entirely different person now. But Marlowe is an angel and she can melt the hardest of hearts. They fall in love with each other, but with this romance comes a revelation of secrets that shatter Marlowe and all that's left of her is a woman that is filled with hatred and anger, and desperate for revenge.

She had everything she always hoped for — a loving boyfriend, great parents, and a trustworthy best friend. Or so she thought. Emily had always hoped that Dorian, her boyfriend, would be her mate. On her eighteenth birthday and the day she ought to find her mate, she was found dead in her room. How she died and who murdered her was a great mystery. What happens when Emily is given another chance to live? Another chance to get those sweet and caring vibes away from her. A chance to get her revenge on the people that murdered her? But it seems all more complicated when she meets Alpha Roman, the Alpha of Red Creed Pack. He is her real mate and Emily is willing to use him to get her revenge.

I'm attacked after the murderer who took my sister's life is released from prison. He pins me to the forest floor, allowing me to scream and shout until I run out of strength. As the fireworks explode above me, blood pools around me. Two months later, my husband becomes his next victim. I burst into manic laughter when I see the torment he has to suffer.

It started out with a marriage. A simple contract signed, one where no feelings were involved, and no strings attached. A small business deal. But when their love conquers even the mafia's darkest desire of revenge. Things start taking a different path. One which would draw both the fate, and a line of the loving couple. Both Eliana and Vladimir Romanov would be forced into a war like no other. It is one of power, strength, and money. Against a man who not only wanted their dynasty’s place, but wanted them gone for good. The man was ruthless, powerful, deceitful, and he was willing to do everything for a spec of power. And remember, the Mafia's world only has one rule "there is no rule to follow when it comes to power" Would they be able to do what it takes? Will their love strive to survive through it all? Or would both crumble under it?

At the end of 2044, a start of new technological development took place, the cyborg mechanism. A world filled with the hazards and threats of global destruction started, along with the start of the war with an unknown alien species. The story starts after 89 years, in modern India, the protagonist is a 12-year-old, poor, spectacle-wearing, goofy-looking person trying to find a way to change the way the world sees him. He finds a way to do it, with a help of a system that he accidentally acquires while researching. Will he accept the system and its pledge to make his wish come true and save the world? Let's see. __________________________________________________________________________ Contact Email:gginokelvin26@gmail.com Instagram: gino kelvin Discord: Gino Kelvin#3569 https://discord.gg/QgGpErQf _______________________________________________________________________________

"Not because men dumped you countless times, you'll gonna dumped me as part of your revenge. Tandaan mo kasal tayo, sa ayaw at sa gusto mo ako ang end game mo!" -Xavier- It was supposed to be a simple favor - pretend to be his lawful and loving wife until her twin sister gets back. But when Xavier Oxford - a drop-dead gorgeous billionaire with eight-pack abs enters her room and demands her duty in bed, she instantly forgets that she was just pretending to be his wife. ***** No one would even realize the difference between Avigail and Avery Alfonzo - the naughty twin sisters. All her life, Avigail "Avi" Alfonzo only wanted three things-- freedom to live her life to the fullest; success in her profession as an artist; and continue switching identities with her twin sister as a form of their escape. Not until her twin sister Avery left the country and ask her to pretend to be the wife of her husband -Xavier Oxford. He's known as the epitome of perfection, a snob, and a business tycoon at a young age. But Avi never liked her twin's husband. However, that changed when she had to pretend to be his wife. His touch can easily make her delirious. His kisses make her squirm in pleasure. And his stares, searing her very soul, could make her forget how to act without getting caught. Can Avigail fool him like how she fooled the others? Or would Xavier catch her off-guard, and see the woman behind her pretentious face?

When two people are in love, they get married! Lillian marries Mark,they try to fight strong but can the marriage continue? What happens when the doctor tells her plight?

Gianna Benton, a woman who came from a great family, a family with ancient history, had always lived a life that's overshadowed by her younger sister, Quinn. After her unfair death with her unborn baby at the hands of the man she loved, Gianna got reborn. Now with the opportunity to live again, Gianna rejects her mate and gives herself to alpha Axel, falling into an unexpected contract marriage. Both plans to use each other, and falling in love isn't part of the deal for them. Gianna plans to get her revenge on her former lover, alpha Nathan, who killed her in the past because of her younger sister, but surprisingly to her, alpha Nathan wants his mate back, and Gianna is determined not to let the past repeat itself. —------------------------------------------------ "Is this hell?" "Gianna, what's wrong with you? I know that you are excited, but you need to stop acting weird." Mom said. I reach out my hands to touch her face, but she slaps my hands away. This is real, I thought. Somehow, I have gone back in time to the day I got married to Alpha Nathan. "I need to take a picture of you, but I can't do it without your sister. Wait here for me while I go get your sister." Mom left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. My hands formed a fist in anger as I thought of Quinn and Alpha Nathan. I don't know how I have traveled back to the past, but I'm not going to let myself make the same mistake I did in my past life; I'm not getting married to alpha Nathan. No matter what, I need to put a stop to this wedding.

My four-year-old son dies after someone crashes into him with a motorcycle. The culprit is a college freshman who's just been admitted. I'm devastated, but my husband generously forgives her. "We have to give her a chance since she's such an outstanding student. She's still young—we can't ruin her future." Ha. She has plenty of opportunities and a bright future ahead of her. What about my son? He was only four. Later, I rip his letter of forgiveness to pieces before his face. He wants me to forgive the young lady? No way in hell!

"How did you manage to sleep at night Reid, the fact that you lied to me?" I saw the shock in his luminescent eyes, the face of the man I love, yet chose to hurt me. "Becca.....I planned to tell you, believe me, I do" he retorted with the cracking in his voice, and that moment I felt the breaking and twisting in my heart. "You're a pheromone machine and your count of women you played with is higher than the number of capillary vessels in your entire body, I refused to be on the list" The pain is evident on his gorgeous face, he gazed at me, I could sense the nagging feeling inside of me, however, I pushed the thoughts in the back of my head. "Becca, you got it all wrong, the predicament you have between me and Liz is nonsense!" he snapped, the intensity of anger in his voice was tormenting. "I've seen enough Reid, you changed women more frequently than a leopard changed its spots, pity me for thinking that you and I can be happy, this is the last time I'm allowing myself to be stupid." Becca lost her family in a tragic accident years ago, trying to cope with the sadness of being alone, making her parents proud in any way possible. Nothing matters and bothers her except work, until her new boss Reid Alonzo start provoking her with his handsome face and arrogant attitude. How can she manage to ignore the sight of a man that can make her fall in love and live a happy life? What if she finds out that Reid Alonzo has an ultimate secret involving the lost of her family, and the reason he wants Becca in his life is all about guilt? Can Becca say "Her No" to love?