Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

“Our marriage is nothing but a signature on a contract” he said glaring at her. “Don’t flatter yourself too much, Romanov. I don’t want this marriage either, however, if it would benefit my family; then I would sign the bloody paper” she said glaring back at him. ******************** He was a ruthless Russian Pakhan, and she was an English Don’s daughter, and their marriage was the ONLY way to ensure peace between the two rivaling families.

Their marriage has been written in the stars. Three generations have waited for the union of the two families. But now it is time. Everyone is giddy with excitement, well, all except one. The groom. Feeling abandoned by his reluctant attitude towards their proposed wedding his future bride seeks comfort in the arms of his nephew. A tug of war ensues for Chloe's heart. To do her duty or chase a brand new love? All Chloe Black wants is a lover to call her own, what she steps foot in is a world that can claim her life instead.

“Mommy, love mo ba si daddy?” Napangiti si Zylah Almendras sa tanong na iyon ng pitong taong gulang na anak—si Jaxon. Sa isang dekadang pagsasama nila ni Bryce ay masaya sila lalo na at may isang anak silang bumubuo sa kanila. Kontento siya sa buhay bilang hands-on mom sa anak at mabuting may bahay sa asawa. “Oo naman, s’yempre,” tugon niya sa tanong ng anak at masuyong nginitian ito. “Pero si daddy love ka rin ba?” “Oo naman. Love din s’yempre ni daddy si mommy.” “Eh, bakit mas masaya si daddy kapag kasama—” Tunog mula sa tablet ni Jaxon ang pumutol sa sasabihin pa sana nito. Binalewala na nito kasunod ang ina at nakangiti na sa kung anong tinitingnan sa tablet. “Mommy?” Balik atensyon nito sa ina. “Hmm?” "Kailan kayo maghihiwalay ni daddy?” *************** Iyon ang simula ng lahat. Pagdududa. Pagtataksil. Pagkukunwari. Pagtitiis. Pero hanggang saan ang kayang tiisin ni Zylah? Hanggang saan kung hindi lang ang asawa ang inaagaw sa kaniya kung hindi pati ang anak?

“Tell me you hate me,” Mikhail whispered, aggressively pressing the side of my face against his expensive wooden table. I inhaled sharply, fighting back the moan in my throat. “I…” I wanted to force the words out, because I did. I hated him with every fiber of my being, with every drop of the blood in my veins. At the same time, I didn't. I had never put a label on the other thing I felt for him. He would never feel the same, and he would scorn me. “Say it, Marlowe. Say you hate me.” He dared, thrusting hard into me and stealing my breath. “Oh my God,” I cried out, pushing my ass backwards to meet his thrusts despite myself. “You can't say it, can you?” He laughed scornfully. “I… hate you.” I managed, inhaling sharply. He tugged my hair, fucking me harder. “No, you don't.” I couldn't argue, because an earth shattering orgasm snuck up on me and blinded my thoughts. When I recovered, I realized he was not completely wrong. *** *** *** Marlowe had a simple, happy life up until her late teens when she was about to go to college. Her father was murdered in cold blood and her mother fell apart. She was left to take care of herself and her mother, and all her dreams were shattered. She is kidnapped and sold to someone she once knew and was in love with. Mikhail Romanov. He is an entirely different person now. But Marlowe is an angel and she can melt the hardest of hearts. They fall in love with each other, but with this romance comes a revelation of secrets that shatter Marlowe and all that's left of her is a woman that is filled with hatred and anger, and desperate for revenge.

She had everything she always hoped for — a loving boyfriend, great parents, and a trustworthy best friend. Or so she thought. Emily had always hoped that Dorian, her boyfriend, would be her mate. On her eighteenth birthday and the day she ought to find her mate, she was found dead in her room. How she died and who murdered her was a great mystery. What happens when Emily is given another chance to live? Another chance to get those sweet and caring vibes away from her. A chance to get her revenge on the people that murdered her? But it seems all more complicated when she meets Alpha Roman, the Alpha of Red Creed Pack. He is her real mate and Emily is willing to use him to get her revenge.

It started out with a marriage. A simple contract signed, one where no feelings were involved, and no strings attached. A small business deal. But when their love conquers even the mafia's darkest desire of revenge. Things start taking a different path. One which would draw both the fate, and a line of the loving couple. Both Eliana and Vladimir Romanov would be forced into a war like no other. It is one of power, strength, and money. Against a man who not only wanted their dynasty’s place, but wanted them gone for good. The man was ruthless, powerful, deceitful, and he was willing to do everything for a spec of power. And remember, the Mafia's world only has one rule "there is no rule to follow when it comes to power" Would they be able to do what it takes? Will their love strive to survive through it all? Or would both crumble under it?

I'm attacked after the murderer who took my sister's life is released from prison. He pins me to the forest floor, allowing me to scream and shout until I run out of strength. As the fireworks explode above me, blood pools around me. Two months later, my husband becomes his next victim. I burst into manic laughter when I see the torment he has to suffer.

Sa edad na 32 ay hindi pa naranasan ni Andrea ang magkaroon ng boyfriend. In short, siya ay NBSB o No Boyfriend Since Birth. Hindi naman siya kapangitan ngunit napakailap ng pagkatataon sa kanya. May nagawa ba siyang malaking kasalanan sa kanyang past life? Sa edad niya ay hindi na siya umaasa pa na may lalaki na magmamahal sa kanya ngunit gusto niya na magkaroon ng kahit isang anak man lang. Puwede naman na magkaroon ng anak na walang asawa kaya naisip niya maghanap ng sperm donor. Hindi artificial insemination ang gagawin kundi natural method. Sa kalagitnaan ng paghahanap niya ay nakilala niya si Martin na isang guwapong bilyonaryo. Unang pumasok sa isip niya na perfect match ang binata para sa kanya ngunit ang problema lang ay hindi siya nito gusto. Mapapayag kaya ito ni Andrea sa nais niyang mangyari? Paano kung hindi? Itutuloy pa ba niya ang paghahanap ng sperm donor o ititigil na lang at tatanggapin na lang na kailanma'y hindi siya magkaroon ng asawa't anak?

At the end of 2044, a start of new technological development took place, the cyborg mechanism. A world filled with the hazards and threats of global destruction started, along with the start of the war with an unknown alien species. The story starts after 89 years, in modern India, the protagonist is a 12-year-old, poor, spectacle-wearing, goofy-looking person trying to find a way to change the way the world sees him. He finds a way to do it, with a help of a system that he accidentally acquires while researching. Will he accept the system and its pledge to make his wish come true and save the world? Let's see. __________________________________________________________________________ Contact Email:gginokelvin26@gmail.com Instagram: gino kelvin Discord: Gino Kelvin#3569 https://discord.gg/QgGpErQf _______________________________________________________________________________

When two people are in love, they get married! Lillian marries Mark,they try to fight strong but can the marriage continue? What happens when the doctor tells her plight?