Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

“Tell me you hate me,” Mikhail whispered, aggressively pressing the side of my face against his expensive wooden table. I inhaled sharply, fighting back the moan in my throat. “I…” I wanted to force the words out, because I did. I hated him with every fiber of my being, with every drop of the blood in my veins. At the same time, I didn't. I had never put a label on the other thing I felt for him. He would never feel the same, and he would scorn me. “Say it, Marlowe. Say you hate me.” He dared, thrusting hard into me and stealing my breath. “Oh my God,” I cried out, pushing my ass backwards to meet his thrusts despite myself. “You can't say it, can you?” He laughed scornfully. “I… hate you.” I managed, inhaling sharply. He tugged my hair, fucking me harder. “No, you don't.” I couldn't argue, because an earth shattering orgasm snuck up on me and blinded my thoughts. When I recovered, I realized he was not completely wrong. *** *** *** Marlowe had a simple, happy life up until her late teens when she was about to go to college. Her father was murdered in cold blood and her mother fell apart. She was left to take care of herself and her mother, and all her dreams were shattered. She is kidnapped and sold to someone she once knew and was in love with. Mikhail Romanov. He is an entirely different person now. But Marlowe is an angel and she can melt the hardest of hearts. They fall in love with each other, but with this romance comes a revelation of secrets that shatter Marlowe and all that's left of her is a woman that is filled with hatred and anger, and desperate for revenge.

Sienna Peterson had the whole “happily ever after” thing locked down… or so she thought. She married her college sweetheart, mastered the art of casserole-making, and dove headfirst into suburban adulthood. Twenty-one years later? Her husband’s traded her in for someone who still gets carded, her kids are off to college, and Sienna is suddenly very single with a whole lot of free time. Cue the midlife plot twist. Who says your 40s can’t be fabulous? Who says you can’t date a ridiculously attractive and a billboard 26-year-old named Daniel Walter—who just so happens to be sweet, sexy, and seriously into her? Daniel may be younger, but he’s got his life together and his heart in the right place. Sienna, on the other hand, has no idea how she ended up in a situationship with a man who knows how to properly fold fitted sheets. But hey—he makes her laugh, makes her blush, and makes her feel more alive than she has in years. It starts off as just fun... but what if it’s more than that? What if age is just a number, and love is the surprise twist she never saw coming? One woman’s fresh start. One unexpected romance. And a whole lot of awkwardly hot moments.

Lena thought she escaped the nightmare of her car accident, but Cassian has other plans. He stalks her every move, appearing in the mirrors, his whispers consuming her mind. The lines between fear and desire blur as his touch ignites something dark and uncontrollable inside her. He’s not just haunting her—he’s claiming her. Every encounter draws her deeper into his twisted world, where pleasure and pain collide. The question isn’t if she can escape, but if she even wants to. As the boundaries of her body and soul erode, Lena finds herself unable to resist his overwhelming pull.

Mariana, a sweet bookshop owner in busy Mexico City, catches the eye of Amir, a dangerous mobster. Amir follows her everywhere, stirring up emotions that push her to the edge. In her simple life, Mariana becomes Amir's obsession. His strong feelings haunt her as he watches her every move from the shadows. Amir’s surprise visits awaken a powerful attraction, pulling her deeper into his world. Caught in a web of passion and danger, Mariana must face a man whose desires threaten to change her life forever.

She came to him for shelter. She stayed because she wanted sin. Rain Mercer spent eighteen years in an orphanage and two more years trying to survive the real world alone. Broke, exhausted, and out of options, she returns to the matron who raised her. The answer she gets feels like a miracle: a wealthy benefactor is willing to step in, become her legal guardian, pay for her education, and give her a future. Rain expects a distant old man. Instead, she gets Lucien Vale. He is devastatingly handsome, coldly controlled, and rich enough to ruin lives with a signature. He gives her safety, structure, and a home so luxurious it barely feels real. He is protective in a way she has never known. Gentle when nobody is looking. Hard on everyone but her. At first Rain mistakes the ache in her chest for gratitude. Then she starts noticing his hands. His voice. The way he says her name when she is upset. And suddenly gratitude turns dangerous. Rain is the first to realize it is not innocent anymore. She wants him. She wants him to stop looking at her like something precious and start looking at her like a woman. So she does the one thing she should never do. She tempts him. Lucien resists her with terrifying discipline. But the more she pushes, the more the perfect guardian mask begins to crack. As enemies close in, old family scandals rise, and a truth about Rain’s past threatens to rewrite everything, Lucien is forced to choose between being the good man who protects her and the ruined man who cannot let her go. One house. One forbidden attraction. One empire built on lies. And when the line finally breaks, it does not break gently.

On a research trip gone wrong, Assistant Professor Patrina Warden is tricked and trafficked into dark elf territory. In their realm, humans are seen as exotic beings to be seduced, tamed, and bound. Nyxios, the charismatic and cunning Scion of House Keltos, uses allure and shadow magic to seduce Patrina into becoming his companion. As they play a game of power, humiliation, and submission, Patrina finds herself torn between her growing fascination for Nyxios and her fierce desire for independence. Will Patrina escape the seductive grip of the dark elf, or will she succumb to the intoxicating blend of love and dominance? [This closed-door romance is book one of a stand-alone two book duology. The second book will be called Midnight Crown. +The books may be read in either order].

I am Ebony Bronfall, Luna of the Crescentmoon Pack. A human. I thought I achieved what no one achieved before. I was a human and the Luna of a powerful pack; it wasn't for everyone to achieve what I did. But it turned out I was merely a pawn for him to use. Frederick betrayed me the worst betrayal in my life. He told me I was his mate, made me fall in love with him, used me for everything I could offer and tossed me when I was of no longer use to him. Even the best friend I thought she was, she was his true mate and they were playing me like a fool. At the end, it's not about what I have or what I have accomplished, it's all about what I can still offer to him and I had nothing to offer anymore. At the last moments of my life, I learnt that I wasn't even his true mate. He was lying to me all along. I regretted giving him everything, my time, my energy, my body, my life… ...I received nothing in exchange. All because I loved him with everything I had. When my life shut down and I thought I was gone, everything reverted back to when I was still in high school. Time reversed and I was again the eighteen years old girl struggling to survive. I was given a chance to start all over again. "I gave too much and now, it's time to receive.”

She thought she had everything. A fated mate. A future. A home. Until it all came crashing down. He came back with another woman. A baby in her belly. And just like that, Elara was nothing. Framed for a crime she didn't commit, the only end for her was death. But fate isn’t done with her yet. A stranger steps out of the shadows. Not just any man—the Lycan King. Feared. Hated. Untouchable. Part demon. Part vampire. Part wolf. He doesn't save her, he claims her. Offers her a deal she can’t afford to refuse: Be his Luna for one year. She should’ve said no. But he’s cold fire and temptation wrapped in darkness. And when he touches her, it’s not just her body that trembles—it’s her soul. Now, she’s trapped between two monsters: The mate who wants her back… And the king who never plans to let her go. 🔥 Sneak Peek – Elara’s POV: “Tell me to stop,” he growled, his breath hot against my lips. “One-word, little wolf, and I’ll Walk away.” My heart pounded so hard I thought it might crack my ribs. I should say it. I should. But then he touched me—just a whisper of skin against skin—and the air vanished from my lungs. My mind screamed this is a mistake. But my body… my body had already decided. I leaned in, drawn to him like gravity itself had shifted. “I hate you,” I breathed, and it came out too soft, too broken. He gave me a look that made my knees weak. Dangerous. Hungry. “Then hate me,” he murmured, brushing his lips over mine, “while I make you forget every reason you ever did.”

Emera Black the queen of dark magic. Age: 24 Time left to live: 3 months Mate status: unmated Wolf color: Black Wolf height: six foot. She is a women who has to prove her worth to the whole werewolf community just because they think females are the weak and what there are good for is to worship male wolves like Gods. Rain midnight the king of asshole sorry werewolves. Age: 30 Time left to live: 500years Mate status: unmated Wolf color: Gray Wolf height: six foot He is an Alpha who makes sure women duties doesn't exceed been in the pack kitchen and bed and those women who behave other wise are punished. What happens when this two Alpha's are paired together as mate. Now with time running out of Alpha black with only three months to live. she needs her mate love by mating and carrying his mark to survive or else the darkness clouding her body might be her end as well as it was her beginning . Now is she willing to sacrifice her powers to be an ordinary submissive she wolf just because she needs her mate love to survive or will she give up on him and embrace death with all her heart. ****************** "Why are you still standing here staring at me like a clown Emera? Do what I ask you to do, go to my room, spread your legs and wait for me on my bed. When I am done with these meeting that's meant for strong Alpha males like myself I will meet you ." An earth shaking growl sounded loud in the round the whole field causing terrifying shiver down everyone spine.

One mate is a blessing, two are a curse, I've learned it all the hard way. My life was as perfect as a life could be. Never notice it until I've lost it all. I'm an alpha line that also has a loving, carrying high-ranking mate. Not to mention that I'm always praised for how I look. I was what every she-wolf dreamed to be. Well, all of that changed when a stranger visited our pack. My entire world froze when I spotted his seraphic eyes. I felt the same pull I've always felt toward my mate. yet, a bit stronger. A stranger who is no one but the Alpha King himself. My entire idyllic world fell apart as I wasn't able to decide. Should I give a chance to the new pull I'm feeling for the alpha king, or to stay loyal to the one who's always been by my side.