Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

I chase my six-year-old daughter out of the house on a cold winter day. I cut her new clothes to pieces and dirty her dainty little face with mud. Then, I give her all my savings. She looks at me tearfully and reaches out for me, wanting me to hold her. However, I harden my heart and push her away, saying, "Leave! Go to Bowen Group and look for their CEO, Logan Bowen. Show him my death certificate and your DNA test—he'll take you in." She sobs while looking at me. "Don't you want me anymore, Mommy? Let's go look for Daddy together." After a brief silence, I say, "I can't go with you. I lied to him back then to have you." Yes, I'm a liar. I orchestrated everything from meeting Logan, dating him, to ultimately leaving him with his child in my womb. Even the death certificate I've given my daughter is fake. From beginning to end, I've lied to him about everything except our daughter.

Fedora Smith was done with love. Finished. Buried. Betrayal had ripped out her heart and torched it—her boyfriend of four years and her best friend of twenty-five caught pants down on the very anniversary sheets she gifted him. And their excuses? “You’re not attractive anymore.” “You took too long to marry him.” Fine. If love was a game, she was rewriting the rules. Now, she runs The Bridal Fix, an elite agency providing fake marriages for a steep price—rent-a-bride services for men needing to fool their families, secure an inheritance, or stage the perfect breakup. Fifteen weddings, fifteen divorces—no strings, no mess. Just business. Until Judah Carlstone. He hires her like the rest—one contract, one wedding, one payday. But Judah asks too many questions. Looks at her too long. And when he smirks and says— "Tell me, Fedora… how does it feel to say ‘I do’ and not mean it?" For the first time in years, she has no answer. Because this was never supposed to feel real.

I was reborn back to 1975, when the child in my womb was three months old. I did not tell anyone and quietly had an abortion. However, I still wrapped cotton around my belly every day, pretending the baby was still there. In my past life, my husband Declan Huxley's childhood sweetheart Jane Patton and I gave birth on the same day. She had a healthy, ordinary baby boy. But my child looked nothing like us—he was mixed-race, with features of the Valorian people. Declan and I were both locals, so there was no way our son could look like this. Enraged, Declan scolded me in front of everyone, accusing me of cheating on him and having a disgraceful affair with a Valorian. No matter how many times I explained, no one believed me, and I became the shameful woman everyone pointed at. Worse still, Declan reported me and handed in some foreign letters he found at home, which led to me being taken by federal agents and sentenced as a spy. I spent ten years in prison, and when I finally walked out, I was nothing but skin and bones. Meanwhile, Declan had climbed the ranks for his so-called loyalty to the country. He held Jane's hand and brought along my real son, Seth Huxley, then threw 500 dollars at me like it was charity. He said, "Back then, Jane was accidentally deceived by someone else and gave birth to that brat. Unlike you, she has a gentle nature and couldn't endure hardship, so I had no choice but to switch your children. "This money is payment for your ten years and your reputation. You have a criminal record, and I already filed for divorce long ago to be with Jane. Seth also thinks you're not worthy of me, so you better take care of yourself." Seth also looked at me with disgust. "Mommy Jane treats me very well, and she's not like you; she's never been to prison. I don't want a mother like you!" When I learned the truth, the fury was so overwhelming that I had a stroke and died in despair. In this new life, I want to see how they plan to scheme against me when the child is already gone.

"I know I'm asking for too much but of all the guys out there begging for a second chance I think I deserve it most, Emma. I deserve a second chance. I deserve you." - Damon Montesoir Damon Montesoir's busy life as a Filipino-Spanish International male model was turned upside down when he was involved in a car accident that scarred his modeling career... and his face.

“We’re the only ones who can help you. Just say the word. Beg us.” A cold smile tugged at my lips, as I crossed my arms, and stared daggers at them. “Never.” I said, through gritted teeth. *** To ascend the throne of her kingdom, Natasha Jace must attend a royal academy. Grudgingly, she agrees to attend the academy, only to meet her sworn enemies who were also students there. The pompous prince of Shadowers; Kai, the prince of Paradisia; Kaleb, and the arrogant prince of Zandaya; Xavier. Worse still, she becomes their roommate. Natasha soon discovers that the Dark Realm Royal Academy isn't all it seems, and to survive she must join hands with her enemies. This is an enemies-with-benefits reverse harem story, and the second book of Kings of Vermont Series. It can be read as a standalone.

Rielle, a popular web-novel writer, got caught up in a scandal that ruined her life and everything she ever worked for. Jumping down the towel was all she thought about as she walked down the street leading to the tall building. What gain would it be if she dies and allow her enemies live to enjoy staring at her down beneath the ground? She shunned ending her life and decided to move on but then, seeing the created image of her female lead character displayed on the screen, she felt so jealous of her perfect life. Her character got everything she ever wanted. A perfect life, a perfect world, a position that commands power, her perfect mate, and a powerful villain obsessed with her. Such a perfect, pathetic life! Rielle thought in disgust. She did the unthinkable........ She ended her perfect female lead character. Killing her for no reason. The next morning when she opened her eyes, she was in her own web-novel world and was brought in by the villain. He vowed to be her protector if only she does one thing. "You killed my lover Keisha, and now, you are going to bring her back, or I kill you." he declared, staring at her menacingly. She shivered at the sight of his eyes and knew at that moment that he is the DARK WOLF. The villain of her novel. Not the kind of protector who threatens her, she wanted. But then, she was ready to make him be at her service when she calls. Is danger and destruction lurking with her in her novel world and her with the villain? How far would he go to protect her when everyone would want to take her?

What would happen when an innocent girl is sold to a brothel without her consent? Would her saviour provide her the freedom she wants or would she just tumble into another hell? ~~~~~~ Her life would take another turn when she will find out that he has a secret baby and will be forced to be his surrogate in return of her freedom ! ~~~~~~~ (Recommended for 18+)

When a predator becomes the prey… Alejandro Cortes was born into violence. As the heir to the infamous Cortes mafia family, he grew into something worse. Someone who bathes in the blood of his enemies yet with precision. A devil in a tailored suit feared across Italy. Ruthless. Untouchable. A man who ruled through blood and terror. Yet even devils have weaknesses. For Alejandro it was not his wife. It was his daughter. Nikolai Vassilliou built his empire differently. Not by any inheritance, but by hunger. By betrayal. By carving his name into the underworld through sheer brutality. Two monsters ruling two empires. Then one mistake changed everything. A hit meant for Alejandro’s wife ended with his daughter dead. Now Nikolai sits chained in a cold concrete cell. Broken, bleeding and at the mercy of a grieving father. The predator who once hunted… has finally become the prey. But revenge has a way of turning hatred into something far more dangerous.

Despite a decade of marriage, Simon never once shared my bed, claiming that he had pledged himself to ascetic practices and that it was beneath him. I thought that he suffered from some shameful ailment and guarded his secret like a devoted fool, until my birthday, when I came home to find him entangled with a brothel worker before the floor-length mirror. When I lunged forward in rage, he drove a shard of that broken mirror straight through my heart. When I awoke, I was gripping my phone, its screen illuminating a message Simon had just sent: [I’ll still give you a lavish wedding, but the marriage certificate? That belongs to her.]

Devon menyodorkan surat cerai tepat ke depan muka Rosa. Pria itu tak terlihat main-main. Pada akhirnya pernikahan yang mereka lalui tidak berhasil meskipun Rosa sudah mencoba sebisanya. Rosa menginginkan Devon. Sangat membutuhkan kekuasaan keluarga Wijaya yang berada di genggaman Devon. Dia tak bisa pergi, tak akan mau. Ketika Rosa tengah memutar otak untuk menunda perceraian ini, tiba-tiba saja petir menyambar Devon secepat kilat! "Ja-jangan mati!!!! Ambulans! Tolong, siapa saja panggil ambulans!" jerit Rosa dengan derai air mata bercucuran. Sementara itu, Devon bergeming di tempatnya. Asap-asap hitam mengepul keluar dari sekujur tubuh dan perickan listrik seperti melompat-lompat di atasnya. Namun bukan itu yang penting. Sebuah suara melengking yang pria itu kenal jelas, merasuki kepalanya dengan kurang ajar. Devon bisa mendengar suara isi pikiran Rosa tanpa sepengetahuan wanita itu. Dan darahnya dibuat mendidih. 'Siapa bilang laki-laki ganteng di dunia ini cuma Devon? Cuih! Manusia macam dia mending bertapa di gunung jadi biksu. Percuma dikasih istri secantik aku kalo matanya nggak dipake,' ujar Rosa dalam hati. Gigi Devon bergemeletuk menahan amarah. "ROSA!!"