Deep Thoughts Funny

She’s texting him her heart. But she’s got the wrong number… When Isabel “El” Watson applied for a sales job with her company, she had no idea a jelly donut would explode on her blouse, or that her grumpy boss would practically laugh her out of the interview. Accountants could be salespeople, she was sure of it, even if that jerkface didn’t think so. So when a lady at the local wine festival offers her a sales job on the spot at a new boutique winery, El jumps at the chance. She also jumps at the chance to text with the guy who danced with her at the festival. Life was finally looking up. Boston’s friend, Chad, never should have given Boston’s number to the girl at the wine festival as a joke, but the damage was done. When El sends Boston a text later that night, believing he is Chad, he’s too nice to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. But there are a few other truths Boston might have thought about: Truth #1: He’s her boss Truth #2: She just accepted a job at his mother’s new winery Truth #3: He’s always had a crush on her Even though Boston is no longer El’s grumpy boss, they still work together at his mom’s winery. And while sparks are flying as they get to know each other for real, El’s kind of sweet on the guy who always seems to know just what to say via text too. Obviously, things will come to a head. Will Boston come clean about the flirty texts being from him? Or will El figure out on her own that she’s been Texting With the Enemy?

N/B Book contains dark and sexual scenes read at your discretion. ~ He burst into a peal of laughter at my agony and this time his eyes grew dark with rage as he gripped my head closer to his face. We were just an inch apart. My breathing turned labored and the sobs racked my throat. “I hate you Talitha. I hunted every town my spies saw you. I searched the deepest forest and farther into every pack of the world to fish you out. Finally, you’re here and this time I’ll make sure I’ll take everything that makes you special, gifted, and exalted and replace them with a broken, weak, and worthless slave, and not only that… I know you hate me, my name, and whose son I am. But that would change. I’ll fill you with me in every corner of your heart, soul, body, and blood. I’ll be so deep in your blood that when you bleed you bleed me.” *********** Witches are not accepted to be part of the kingdom of Arni where the evil Alpha king takes the women for his sexual gratification and kills and burns them alive at will. The evil king gets murdered and when the witches thought their persecution is over his son Alpha Hades- is out for the witches but first, he must conquer Tabitha's daughter. The daughter of the woman (Head Witch) who murdered his father and beheaded his poor mother and he must conquer her in spirit and on his bed by putting a collar on her neck as his slave and imprinting his essence on every inch of her perfect body. Can love grow from this unlikely pair of wolves and Witches or will their hate and revenge consume them in their quest.

IF HE IS NOT WILLING TO BE HER REAL HUSBAND, WHAT'S THE HARMFUL IN SUDUCING HIM? Charlotte Foster is in love with Morgan, her father's kind business partner who has quickly become her best friend since she met him. Now, at 20, and after several unsuccessful attempts to make Morgan see her as a woman, Charlie is prevented from receiving the inheritance that is rightfully hers, thanks to the schemes of her late father and her terrible stepmother. That's when Morgan surprises her with a proposal: become her husband for a year, so that she can receive what belongs to her. However, for Charlie, money is the least important thing in that situation. Morgan Sullivan struggled for a long time with his repressed feelings for Charlie, the authentic and impulsive daughter of his greedy partner. However, after years of managing to hide his love for her, he sees no other way out than marrying her to protect her from her Machiavellian stepmother. After all, it will only be for a year and everything will be a farce, since he will never touch her. As much as you want. And as much as he is no longer able to hide what he feels for her so well. Realizing that her husband may not be as indifferent to her as he thought, Charlie decides she needs to use that year to seduce her husband and turn their fake marriage into something very real.

They say love is unpredictable—an unstoppable force that no one truly escapes. Some run toward it. Others run from it. Ted Allen belongs to the latter. A mafia heir like his father, Ted feared love more than bullets. It was messy. Dangerous. Uncontrollable. Just like everything he’s sworn to keep out of his life. But fate has other plans. When his kidnapped niece—his tiny mirror image—escapes her captors, she’s found by two strangers with pasts cloaked in secrets. One of them, Cookie Carlisle, a spirited runaway hiding in Italy from her twisted father, helps the child find her way home. That single act of kindness sets off a chain reaction neither of them could foresee. Because Cookie is about to find herself dragged into a war she knows nothing about… and Ted is about to meet the one woman who shatters every rule he’s built his empire on. She’s wild. Fearless. Addictive. And she’s not stopping until he’s hers. --- “I really doubt you’ll last long here,” River said. “Trust me. I won’t die yet.” Not until the big bad wolf with my name on his soul gets what’s coming to him. He hasn’t seen the last of me.

They call it Area Alpha 101. It doesn’t appear on the world map or the satellites, but it’s rumoured to be there. It’s unofficially the largest continent on Earth, but the humans aren’t educated on it. Only the top shots in the governments and monarchies know about it, but have kept it a secret from everyone else. No-one answers questions regarding it. People have been quoted saying that they tried to get in, but they only hit a barrier. This barrier is said to be invisible, yet you can’t see what’s on the other side. For centuries, no-one has been able to get past the barrier, and those who try, come away ‘bewitched’, or so it has been reported. You know what the funny part about this is? There are literally signs that say “NO HUMANS ALLOWED” just a distance away from the ‘barrier’. You can imagine the insane theories that the human civilization has come up with in regards to what they imagine could be behind the barrier. The biggest guess as you yourself would probably guess is aliens; but that’s just it – NO-ONE knows what’s behind the barrier. Except me that is. Or so I thought.

"Wearing a skirt so short, Ms Katz... is not allowed in my building," he said with sternness in his tone."But sir- I've spilt coff...." her respective voice was interrupted by the arrogant boss, "Whatever the reason is, Ms Katz. Go home and change the dress then come back to work." with that he focused his attention at his laptop.She, with a clenched jaw, turned to leave his cabin when his deep voice lingered in her ear saying, "Oh and you will work extra hours today.""But sir-...." there was no way in hell he was letting her complete the sentence when he again interrupted her, "You're wasting time, Ms Katz. The extra hours are for the time I'm giving you to go to your apartment and change your dress."Darby Rothschilds had everything he's ever wanted. He has every reason to be the arrogant man that he is. But he has some secrets... secrets which are meant to be carried to graves only.Alexandra Katz, a young girl who just finished highschool and in desperate need of a job. What if she finally got a job in a multinational firm named as Rothschilds Corporations and became the secretary of the very own Darby.There was something about her... Alexandra... if only he could know that she was the cure of his cursed life.

Roohi Kapoor has a problem. Scratch that—she has two problems. First, she’s hopelessly in love with her best friend, Vihan Singh Rathore, who just happens to be the most frustrating playboy in all of Delhi. He flirts with anything that moves in the skirt—except her. Second, her entire family—overprotective brothers, cousins, and all—won’t stop parading eligible bachelors in front of her. As an MD, her family thinks it's time for her to get married and “settle down.” But how can she think about anyone else when her heart is stuck on Mr. Heartbreaker himself? Enter Ron Kapoor, Roohi’s elder brother and legendary love guru. He could easily make a career of solving other people’s romantic disasters, but helping his little sister get together with a notorious playboy? Even he knows this is a recipe for disaster. Especially, when Ron’s strict rules mean Roohi must follow his plan down to the letter… and his plan involves turning the tables on Vihan's flirtatious ways. Can Roohi break free from the friend zone and finally make Vihan see her as more than just his best friend? Or will she end up heartbroken while her brothers plan her next “perfect” match? One thing’s for sure—things are about to get hilariously complicated.

"Fuck," I snap, unzipping her jeans skirt and tearing the thing down her legs, throwing it over my shoulder. "You've driven me to the edge, little girl. It was hard enough having you wiggle that tight ass around in my lap without coming. Then I see other males looking at you?" I yank down her panties and discard them in the foot well. "For that, I'm going to pump so deep, you'll see stars." "Yes," she gasps, spreading her legs wider as I go down and take a long, sweet whiff of her pink pussy. "I'd like that very much, Daddy. Please me. Please, Daddy...fuck..." I take the first lick, my fingers digging into her laps as she moans out in pleasure. "Oh, fuck! Oh. Oh my God." One more lick and her pussy starts to quiver, her legs stiffening where I've rested them on my shoulders. "Damien." I close my lips lightly around her clit and apply careful suction, increasing the pressure until she's crying out. "What do you really want from me, little girl?" "Go faster, Daddy. Please me harder. Please me..." ------------- Warning: This book is intended for 18+ audiences. It is an erotic boxset, containing seventeen original erotic short stories. Steamy, fun, and fulfilling, just how ya'll like it.

“The only crime I ever committed wasn’t murder, Robert. It was simply loving you. I don’t think anyone has ever loved you the way I did. I loved you to the point I was willing to sacrifice myself for your happiness. But not anymore. I’m over all that shit now. Sooner or later, you’ll regret what you’ve done, and you’ll realize what a huge mistake you made. And by then, it might just be too late.” Lily had once believed she could endure anything for love—even a loveless marriage. Bound by a contract to her high school crush-turned-husband, Robert, a cold and distant billionaire, she sacrificed her dreams, her desires, everything for his success. But when she became pregnant—a violation of their marriage agreement—her world shattered. Betrayed by Robert, who chose his ex-lover over her and accused her of a crime she didn’t commit, Lily was sentenced to years in prison, losing everything, including her freedom and even giving birth while in prison. After escaping her past, Lily fought to rebuild her life, creating a future for her children far away from Robert’s shadow. Just when she thought she had found happiness, Robert reappears, desperate for a second chance. Now, Lily faces an agonizing choice: forgive the man who broke her heart to a thousand pieces or protect the new life she’s worked so hard to build without him. Will love be enough to heal the wounds of the past, or will her scars run too deep to ever truly heal?

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?