Depressing Funny Quotes

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Winter is a rebellious 18-year-old werewolf who is destined to become the Luna Queen of the wolves. Her parents have arranged her marriage with another werewolf named Ryker, whom she has never met or knows anything about. Winter doesn't want to marry him; she feels she is too young to be married and wants the chance to find her true mate. Her two best friends, Elena the fairy and Lillie the witch, promise to help her escape her family. Elena was born without wings, something that has never happened in the fairy world, and Lillie struggles to control her powers. If she doesn't learn how to control them, they will be taken from her. Their friendship is forbidden by all their families. The story follows their friendship as they learn about their powers and try to protect each other from the dangers that lie ahead. Will Winter find her mate? Will Elena discover the secret behind why she doesn't have wings? Will Lillie ever gain control over her powers? And most importantly, will their forbidden friendship be able to withstand all the challenges it will face? Together with her friends, she defies expectations and embraces her destiny as not just a leader but as a fiercely independent woman who will shape her own fate.

The childs gone. The dreams gone. I've become comfortably numb Valentina Lombardi has been through a lifetime of trauma throughout her years. From her absentee, abusive father who's neglected her all her life to her even more abusive legal guardian who's been the one to traumatize her. A trip to what she sees as her second bedroom, the police station, takes a turn of events with a piece of information she receives that changes everything. Zane Marino, leader of the Marino mafia, and Raul Romano, one of his top men. Dead. The two men who've destroyed her are now out of her life, a miracle to her. Now, she's being thrown into the custody of her eight older brothers she never knew she had. Her biological family. Not to mention, her eldest brother who's now her legal guardian, also happens to be the leader of the Sicilian mafia. Her "father's" pure enemy. What happens when she has to learn to deal with the infamous, ruthless Lombardi brothers, the ones she was raised to hate? Marino through adoption and Lombardi by blood. A dangerous mix. Throw trauma, boys, secrets, and utter chaos into the mix. How will it all play out when her inner demon's come to the surface, making everything unravel right under her two feet?

"I want you to be mine." Davon purrs into my ear while his hand snakes up to my neck. "I want to be yours, too..." "Good. Then I shall fuck you till you forget your own name, little flower." His hand tightens against my throat.

A modern man from Earth, Caden, woke up and discovered he became a cat! Not only that, he had woken up to a world that can only be found in fantasy stories! What's even more incomprehensible is that he had found himself a mysterious owner! His owner likes to threaten him, likes to make him remember all the goodness he has done for him, likes to touch him here and there---! He is truly pitiful. ----- Evan: I have a cat. My cat likes to stick his tongue out to me, so I pulled it. My cat likes to cry and is very timid but he can kick ass. I love my cat.

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

A self-proclaimed strong independent woman in her 30's finds herself single and lonely. She has a good friend who is stuck in his past. Together, they will try to battle their emotions as life partners. Will marrying a friend without a feeling bring them the happiness they've always wanted?

Isang babaeng kinatatakokotan ng kahit sinong tao na makabangga niya dahil sa angking galing nito sa pakikipagtunggali--- Nathalie Collins. Isang mahusay na NBI Agent, dahil lahat ng misyong ibinibigay sa kaniyan ay walang kahirap-hirap niyang nalutas. Ngunit sa kaniyang puso ay nakapaloob ang lungkot at paghihiganti upang mabigyan ng katarungan ang mga magulang na basta na lang pinatay ng taong hindi niya kilala. Sa patuloy niyang paghahanap sa mga kriminal na pumaslang sa pamilya niya, ay unti-unti namang lumalambot ang puso niya sa babaero niyang boss na si Frank Smith. Para sa kanya ay kailangan niyang sumipilin ang kaniyang puso lalo na at alam ni Natalie na sa bandang huli ay siya pa rin ang uuwing luhaan. Ngunit hanggang kailan niya kayang paglabanan ang pag-ibig na nadarama para kay Frank? At may pag-asa pa kayang makamit ng mga magulang ni Natalie ang hustisyang nararapat para sa pamilya?

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

Synopsis - On the night when the young warrior Raen is born, strange things happen in the Free East: A prince dies and the great oracle of Tulga sends a mysterious prophecy. A long journey begins. Will the young Raen manage to take the fate of his people in hand against the dark power of the priests and councilors? Raen's journey takes him to the legendary city of Borgossa, where he is to be trained at the War Academy. There he meets the funny Manoen, a compatriot, and they become friends. But Manoen also keeps a dark secret. When Raen finds out, the terrible machinations of the priests of his country are revealed to him. Together with his friend he returns to Hy to overthrow the priestly caste. War is inevitable.