Dirty Tagalog Jokes

Taglish story. Si Marisse Dela Fuente ay naninirahan sa probinsya kasama ang kanyang pamilya. mahal na mahal sya ng lahat dahil sa angking kagandahan at kabaitan kaya naman ay inggit na inggit sa kaniya ang kanyang nakatatandang kapatid na si Vanessa. Dahil rito, nagawang agawin ni Vanessa ang nobyo ni Marisse, pinahirapan nito si Marisse na maging miserable ang buhay. Nakipagsabwatan sya sa mga taong may balak na masama kay Marisse para sa pera. Sa pagkawala ni Marisse, ilang taon ang lumipas ay may babaeng mayaman na basta na lamang nakilala. Siya si Ivy. Ngunit, may kinalaman ba itong taong ito kay Marisse? sino nga ba siya?

Fucking hell,” was the last thing I heard from him before his lips met mine, his hands cooling my skin. But it still wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I needed him to ease the burning inside me. “Inside—” I gasped, turning my head to the side. “It hurts inside of me.” Seth was breathing heavily above me. “Do you know what you are asking for, Camilla?” I swallowed, looking at his face before spreading my legs. “Yes, Beta. I want you inside of me.” Camilla had always lived in the Green Hill pack but hadn't found her mate yet. She started to think she was either mateless or her mate wasn’t in her pack. After an attack with while she was cleaning the Luna’s house , she was taken to the hospital by their Pack’s beta, Seth. But when Camilla opened her eyes and looked into Seth's brown eyes, she felt sparks. She had known Seth, but even with their brief encounters, there was nothing. Camilla’s happiness faded when she remembered Seth was married and had a four-year-old son. Now, what would Camilla do, especially after finding out she was carrying the Beta's child? Would she remain the Beta's dirty little secret?

Extreme beauty, intelligence, and unique set of skills. Zea was only seventeen back then and everything in her life was perfect. But not until they killed her father and took away the man that she loves. Driven, she set out overseas and train to be the best special agent. And after nine long years, she's given an assignment. A dangerous, highly classified mission, as an undercover high school student. In a well-known university that is secretly run by a viciously organized underground syndicate, that is strongly linked to her father's death. Determined to seek justice. Everything is right in place. But not until she found him—again.

Amara decided to take a vacation for herself to a secluded town in order to figure out what to do with her life after college. Little did she know that this small town could house so much of what she's looking for in life - including a hottie with an abominable reputation.

Tyche Claire Tuaze (16) was forced to act as Clarisse De Marquez in front of Achilles family while the real Clarisse is not around, in order to set her mother free in jail. She met Evander Achilles na may pagkamasungit sakaniya sa una, pero biglang bumait sa huli kaya napa-isip siya na kung tama pa bang ituloy ang kaniyang pangloloko sa Achilles. Because of her mistakes, she regret it for years until she's being bond with Achilles again. She knows how hard it is to be with someone she fool from her past. Makakamit kaya niya ang totoong katotohanan hinggil sa pagkakamali niyang iyon? Or it will be her Sweet Mistake because she get to know him more? Like a wave come from within, it turns calm and beautiful because a storm vanished, a happy ending will arise.

Naisip ni Emerald na hiwalay na si Jace Higginson matapos ang isang taong pagsasama dahil sa pambabalewala nito sa kanya at hayagang pambababae. Pagkatapos ng limang taon, bumalik siya sa bansa upang makipagtulungan sa kumpanyang pag-aari ng kanyang dating asawa at kung maaari ay makapghiganti na rin. Ano ang gagawin niya kapag nakita niya ang kakaibang Jace, na hindi siya mapalagay sa tuwing magkikita sila? Ano ang gagawin niya kapag ang kanyang inaakalang dating asawa ay asawa pa rin niya dahil hindi naman pala niya pinawalang bisa ang kanilang kasal? Ibibigay kaya ni Emerald kay Jace ang kanyang karapatan sa kanilang anak na nabuo bago siya umalis at iniwan ito? Alamin kung paano susubukan ni Emerald na labanan ang sarili niyang damdamin kay Jace at ang pananabik nitong makuha siya ulit habang sinusubukan nitong hanapin ang kanyang yaya na sa kalaunan ay magbubunyag ng kanyang tunay na pagkatao.

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY CONTAIN THEMES LIKE DARK AND SPICY ROMANCE, STEAMY AND SEXUAL CONTENT, VIOLENCE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND FORCED SEX WHICH IS STRICTLY NOT FOR KIDS UNDER +18 READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED. . "If I should take you tonight Sierra, your body belongs to me and only I will be able to touch and do to you as I please, do you understand?" He asked with a smug grin on his face while he waited for her response. "I don't care who the fuck you are but you can't hold me captive. I will run away from here. That I promise you!" She swore vehemently. "The thing is..." He tugged at the collar around her neck, pulling her forward with a sinister smile on his face. "You can run Piccola but you can't hide. I'd tumble the whole world upside down to find you if I have to. You belong to me and only me!" *.*.* . Twenty year old Sierra Delavine has a one night stand with a masked stranger at a hotel who turns out to be Diavolo Castillo, the most dangerous Italian Mafia and drug lord right after receiving the heartbreaking and devastating news of her sister's medical condition. Diavolo who is the sworn enemy of the former senator who happens to be her father, offers her a deal to become his sex slave in exchange of her sister's life. She would have to live with him for three months and take him. All of him whenever and however he wanted it. As their worlds collided, they found themselves caught in a web of lies, betrayal, and danger. Will Ciara accept Diavolo's offer and will she find solace in the heart of the ruthless Italian mafia?

A send-off party for the acting CEO of Blackwell enterprise, resulted in a one-night between Sienna Dowling, and a strange man, who she later found out was her new boss, and unknown to her, a vampire royalty. Kenzo Elias Blackwell, the vampire prince, concluded that a one-night stand with her wasn't enough, even if it meant going against the one rule they must never break. Getting involved with a human. He wanted her at all costs, consequences are damned. A forbidden affair, centuries-old beef, a ruthless fiancée, and rules that have been in existence for thousands of years became the stumbling block between Kenzo and Dakota's love story.

"Anak ko ang nakasalalay dito, Jessa, kaya hindi mo kami masisisi kung gumawa man kami ng bagay na kahit alam naming makakasakit para lang madugtungan ang buhay ni Clyde." Mapait siyang ngumiti. Tinignan niya si Xyrius na nakatingin sa kanya sari-saring emosyon ang nagsasalimbayan sa mga mata nito. Iniiwas niya ang tingin dito at bumaling kay Giselle. "Gusto kitang saktan, kung puwede nga lang patayin kita ngayon." Dumaan ang gulat ang takot sa mga mata ni Giselle. "Pero hindi ko gagawin dahil baka mamaya buntis ka na pala. Baka nakabuo na pala kayo ng asawa ko. Sayang yung sakit na nararamdaman ko kung mawawala lang yung batang magdudugtong sa buhay ni Clyde." Pinunasan niya ang luha niya gamit ang manggas ng damit niya. Saka tumayo ng tuwid. Naglakad siya at ng na sa tapat na siya ni Giselle huminto siya. Hinubad niya ang wedding ring niya at iniabot ang kamay nito saka inilagay roon ang wedding ring niya. "Tutal makapal naman ang mukha mo 'wag ka nang mahiya. Sa iyo na rin itong wedding ring ko. Sayong-sayo na si Xyrius..." aniya dito na ikinagulat nito. Saka niya ito nilagpasan at tinungo ang pinto pero hinabol siya ni Xyrius at pinigilan. Malamig ang mga matang nilingon niya ito. "I'm sorry..." umiiyak na anito. "Ayokong mawala si Clyde pero mas ayokong mawala ka sa buhay ko..." humahagulgol na anito. Hindi niya rin napigilan ang pagpatak ng luha niya. "Isa lang puwede mong piliin at pinili mo siya, X. Anong laban ko ro'n e, anak mo 'yon. Dugo at laman mo 'yon..." Marahan niyang tinanggal ang kamay nito sa braso niya. "Hanggang dito na lang ako... hindi ko na kayang magpatuloy na kasama ka. Goodbye, love... be a good father." Tinapik niya ang balikat nito at tumalikod na siya.

Malapit na mawalan ng pag-asa si Grace sa buhay at gusto na niya wakasan ang sarili niya pero may pumigil sa kanya. Walang iba kundi si Calvin Montevista Ang lalaking magmamahal sa kanya ng totoo. Natupad ang kahilingan niyang maging masaya. Pero nagulat na lang siya isang araw isang malamig na tingin at pandidiri ang nakikita niya sa mukha ni Calvin. Para bang nabasag ang pagkatao niya pero kahit ganun nagsumikap si Grace na nararapat pa rin siya maging masaya.