Dj Jokes Novels & Stories

Her face is bright red. “He spent the entire night monopolizing the conversation, and I couldn’t even get a word in. It’s like he wanted to make me suffer, and his date, some bimbo that had sand in her head instead of a brain, kept laughing at his dry-ass jokes”, she says, and I can’t help but giggle because I can imagine Dylan doing something like that.

I bring my girlfriend, Madeline Conway, back to my village hometown to meet my parents and discuss marriage plans. Mom and Dad grin slyly as they say, "You're going to have to be careful with your belongings after marrying Jasper, Maddie." My younger brother, Justin Norman, bursts out in laughter. He scoffs and says, "You probably don't know this, Maddie, but Jasper stole Mom's gold necklace when he was little. Dad locked him up in the storeroom all day and night and still couldn't get a confession out of him." The moment he says that, Mom and Dad smack the table and burst into laughter. My grip on my fork tightens as I fight to contain my anger and anguish. "I said I never stole it."

Jajajaja I_pooped ... 'Sksksksks' and 'jajajaja' is laughing? Will_the_devil Fr fr I_pooped Willy, stop! Quinn_beach I have tea I_pooped ... Not you too. Quinn_beach No, but fr, I have boiling hot spicy tea. Will_the_devil Spill it, sis I_pooped Oh my God, stop with those references or a girl is going to die here. Quinn_beach So, you guys remember Charlie, the man beach?

Leesa had to give the guy credit. He didn’t seem to let the catcalls and groans bother him. He either had the thickest skin in the world, or he thought the derision was in some twisted way an approval of his act. His jokes were new, but were equally as dumb as the last time. She wondered if he wrote the stuff himself or got it from some website—stupidjokes.com, maybe.

"Are you going to consummate the marriage tonight?" Dylan whirled around in disbelief. "It's none of your fucking business. Jesus! When did you become so daring?" "Jeez, sorry." Jordan held his hand out to show he didn't mean it. "I was just trying to be funny. It's totally not my business." Dylan shook his head and turned away. But then, a question surfaced in his mind. "Jordan, how do you make her laugh so easily?" Jordan looked at him, unsure if he heard correctly. "What?"

“Whatever you’re doing at ‘work’ tonight… hurry home. Both of you can fuck me senseless for all I care.” I snorted at my own joke, then immediately winced because yeah, that was a weird thing to say even alone. Little did I know how soon that joke was going to bite me right in the ass. And how much I was going to enjoy it when it did. [ You might be reading this wrong, but trust me, the real thrill is still ahead.^^]

I could imagine how he felt that led him to be driven home. After some seconds I spoke, "I went to see my girlfriend." Some jokes could be dangerous if not properly managed. As simple as it were, Johnson was hysterical. His forehead was covered in sweat at once. I recalled how I met him napping on the couch last night. However, I could not attribute it to my joke. "What is wrong with you, Johnson?" I asked in despondency. He brought his leg down and rested his head on the couch. "Do you need water?" I asked him and got up from my seat at once.

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

After the first five rings, Kyle took my phone from me and switched it off. I was seated on the couch, Kyle beside me. I stared blankly into space as memories of the night replayed in my head. I wish I had never gone to that stupid party. "Wanna hear some good jokes?" Kyle smiled. I shrugged. "What do you call a sleeping bull?" He asked, smirking. "A bull-dozer." I replied bluntly. He pouted. I heard Chris' car pull up in the driveway. It wasn't long before Chris made his appearance in the living room.

“Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?” I narrowed my eyes. “A... depressed berry?” “No.” He grinned. “A blueberry.” It was so dumb. So painfully, ridiculously stupid. And yet I laughed. I could feel it bubble out of me, like I hadn’t laughed like that in weeks. “Jesus Christ,” I said, wiping under my eyes, still chuckling. “That was horrible.” “You asked for a dumb joke.” “And you delivered. Goddamn, Andrew. You’re like a walking dad joke machine.”