Dj Jokes Novels & Stories

Zain pointed out, giving me that intent, knowing look that made me focus on draining my cup of coffee. Look somewhere else, Zee. I'm not telling you a thing. As if she read my thoughts, she turned to Dianne. “Or maybe he’s so pissed because he’s got a tiny dick.” There was a pause around the table before they howled with laughter while I just drained my coffee, feeling the fog of their cluelessness envelop me. The soreness in between my thighs that has refused to disappear for days was a reminder that the joke was on them.

On matriculation day, I carried my acceptance letter to the campus grounds to register alone. But before I could cross the threshold, the guards drove me back into the street with their anti-riot forks. Humiliated and bewildered, I reached for my phone to call my childhood friend, Daisy Reid. A sharp laughter rippled through the receiver. “Violet, are you truly that blind behind those glasses? The letter you swept off the desk was a forgery I mocked up. Your actual one is still sitting at home.” Panicked, I hastily booked a return ticket and hurried back to search for my letter. I scoured the house for hours, turning up nothing. Just then, Daisy’s personalized ringtone sang out from my palm.

I'm all for going to a comedy show, but when I'm the only person who is there to laugh, it's way less funny and 10 times more awkward. Frankly, I didn't really find any of his jokes that funny either... and he told a LOT of jokes. But, I did my best to fake believable laughs, and I even attempted a joke or two of my own. By the time I arrived at the top floor though, I can honestly say I felt mentally drained. I felt as though my quota for faking nice today was already met, and that's not really the way I should feel as I moved to sit across from Dakota.

She raises her eyebrows, clearly expecting some appreciation for her terrible humor. And even though I try to resist, the laugh bursts out before I can stop it. It’s so loud it actually echoes, and suddenly, every pair of eyes in the sparring room swivels around to stare at us. But honestly? I could not care less. Jennie’s standing there grinning like she’s the funniest person on the planet, and maybe she kind of is, to me anyway. “Jennie, that was so bad, I might actually have to file a complaint with the dad joke committee,” I manage, clutching my stomach because apparently, my body forgot how to laugh quietly.

When he did, he felt Roy gradually relaxing against him as well, his back curving naturally to his chest. “Tell me the joke,” he murmured into his ears. His voice was hesitant when he said, “Are you sure?” “Yes.” He cleared his throat. “So, there were three guys stranded on an island. Jack, Jim, and John.” A smirk pulled the corners of his lips, without him opening his eyes. The women he’d been forced to be with would never make a joke like this. It would be something else, something witty, mocking even, and most importantly, sophisticated. Or naughty—anything to impress him.

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

Definitely. "Nope!" the man replied, cheerful and oblivious. "So, two olives were walking down the street. One fell behind. The other turned and said... 'Olive you!'" A beat of silence. Then came that laugh, loud, unfiltered, like he was the funniest man alive. I gritted my teeth. That laugh again. Like nails on glass. How can someone sound so punchable through a screen? Dante didn’t even respond this time. Just silence on his end. I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose. Honestly, I was about to do the same. Then he let out a slow breath. "You’ve been banned from joke privileges."

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.