Duck Jokes Novels & Stories

I was the most notorious terror child in the entire neighborhood. Every day, I threw a tantrum and claimed a parking spot as my own. I refused to let anyone else park there. The other residents had no choice but to leave their cars on the street, where they received expensive parking tickets. I held a neighbor’s seven-year-old pet duck under water until it drowned. The duck had been worth a thousand dollars. I did it simply because I wanted to taste duck meat. In the elevator, I would cancel everyone else’s floors for fun. One day, the elevator broke down. A neighbor was trapped inside so long that they nearly suffocated. My parents were at their wits’ end. More than once, they beat me in public over my actions. They even broke down in front of everyone and cursed me. “How did I end up with such a rotten child?” “Why don’t you just die?” I thought. “But Mom, Dad, weren’t these the very things you taught me?” I lowered my head, heartbroken. “Kid, are your parents bad to you? Why don’t I find you a new mom and dad?” a tempting voice asked. I looked up at the scarred man standing in front of me. Hope flickered across my face. I nodded.

I ended my business trip earlier and went back home, but the moment I pushed the door open, I nearly vomited from the rotten stench that stank up the entire house. Ten minutes ago, Selena Niles, my wife, posted in the Moms Unite group. [I read together with Dolce today again. It might be tiring bringing up a kid, but mothers need to be part of their children’s growth.] Dolce looked up. Her face was dirty, and she said to me sadly, “Dad, Mom is playing with Howard in the bedroom.” Howard Zimmer. That was my childhood best friend. I treated him like a brother of mine, gave him a job, and let him move into my house. I was not expecting him to “take care” of my wife and daughter like this during the few days I was away on a business trip. While I squashed down my anger and cleaned the living room, I found a long, black thing among Dolce’s toys. At first I thought that it was my stun baton, but when I did a Google search on it with my phone, the item description made my stomach churn. [An adult toy. Silent. Easy to carry and can vibrate.] Meanwhile, my stun baton was nowhere to be found. At 2 a.m., a pained screech tore through the air.

I'm a senior white-collar professional. But I don't know when exactly it is that I've gotten infected with that… shameful ailment. It's so bad that I have to duck into the washroom during work hours just to alleviate my carnal urges. Needless to say, that ailment has completely screwed me over. That's when my husband takes me to a famous private doctor named Caleb Walden, who apparently has a unique treatment method that only he himself possesses. But during the treatment, I can feel Caleb's scorching manhood pressing against my slit…

“You are nothing but a fat ugly duck! and I would never accept you as my mate!” ★★★ What Yeren didn't expect on the day of prom was her dear mate/ boyfriend rejecting her brutally. Claiming she meant absolutely nothing to him and mocking her body size in front of the entire school. She was humiliated and mocked by fellow students and she battled to leave the crowd, thinking her misery had come to an end not until she pumped into the Trio brothers and broke an artistic pearl worth millons that belonged to them. Things take a swift turn when they ask her to pay for it or have to serve time as their maid for the rest of her life. "You belong to us now! consider it a bondage contract.”

The ER receives a patient in the middle of the night. Despite being the doctor on duty, I use the excuse of suffering from a stomachache to duck into the washroom. Instead, the new pretentious doctor, Scarlett York, is the one taking the lead in saving the patient's life. In my previous life, I put in all of my effort to save the patient's life. That was how I managed to revive him. But when the patient woke up, he claimed that I had broken four of his ribs, so he demanded compensation from me. The hospital also suspended me from my position and made me reflect on my actions just because I drank a bottle of glucose that I paid for. At the same time, Scarlett accused me of selling the medical equipment, which led to me getting fired by the hospital. To make things worse, the patient's family decided to get revenge on me by stabbing me with a blade. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day the patient is sent to the ER.

Since the very first time Hunter Jones laid his eyes on a petite Asian , Mey Wang, he couldn't take his eyes off her. The resident bad boy is willing to duck his nose deep in Harry Potter books and learn every spell known just to get closer to the Potter-head . Mey likes Hunter but not in a romantic way. She thinks they're too different. She's a nerd and he's a bad boy. Of course, there're a lot of books about a bad boy and a nerd falling in and walking to the sunset together but she's not just a nerd, she's also an Asian. Her parents are old-fashioned people, they'd never approve of someone like Hunter. So she tries her best to escape him. But can you really escape ? There's a potion in the spellbook but there's no un- potion, right? QOTD: Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you . And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them. Stacy London. Started: 08.01.18 Completed: 22.02.18

While we're playing King's Game, Olivia Bennett's male best friend, Damien Hayes, has drawn the punishment lot that requires him to spill one of Olivia's secrets. He turns to look at me, a mysterious smile curling on his lips. "Olivia needs to get my permission whenever she wishes to sleep with Ethan." The atmosphere goes quiet immediately. As Damien licks his lips, he adds, "C'mon, there's no such thing as taboo when it comes to Olivia's birthday party! Why are you guys so quiet? I thought y'all are the type who's capable of taking jokes of any kind!"

“You’re weak and ugly!” “Stop acting like you’re one of us. You disgust me!” ***In high school, Tabitha was fat and the constant target of the quadruplet brothers' cruel jokes and bullying. They were her living nightmare. After dropping out, she left the werewolf school behind and enrolled in a human university, where she slimmed down. The quadruplets were raised by their father with strict military discipline, shaping them into rebellious and unruly young alphas. Five years later, Tabitha and the quadruplet brothers met again, because her mother married their father. Now, Tabitha is forced to live under the same roof as the four Navy Alpha bullies. They quickly recognize her and are stunned by how beautiful she’s become.

Once in a while, in the middle of life, love gives us a fairytale.And some fairytale love stories are completely unexpected and thus more memorable.No one expected the class president and the leader of Trouble Triggers to even talk about anything but notes and pencils. But then fate's a bitch and loves to meddle!Their life changes drastically when the good girl- Joanna Williams has to tutor the bad boy- Bryan Cooper.Along with the tutoring comes constant fun, too much bickering, lame jokes, scary sarcasm, idiotic friends, too many unknown emotions, jungles in tummy, bucket lists, unheard secrets and haunting pasts.Maybe some fairytales don't have a happy ending... or do they?

Maxine A. K. A Max John's is a senior at St John's. She doesn't believe in love nor in mysteries or fate. Her spiritual being feels threatened. For some reason she sometimes dreams about a mystical girl she has never met. She is abused at home, she fights for survival and dignity, but is oblivious of who she really is and where she comes from, or what she'll become. Her existence was declined eon years ago. What if she has a bigger purpose....what if her past caught up with her long ago but never realized it? Until….. Maya is a known kindergarten teacher, she has to start teaching at St Johns. She is a princess in a land oblivious to mankind. Her people are escapees of descendants of a world one can wish to be part of. A city where no man lives. She was chosen to lead her people but doesn't want to. She runs away to live amongst humans. She always wanted to be free and choose her own life, and lover. She dreams about a young girl. She never questioned why? Until...... All calls they return to their homes, humanity is at stake, and they are the only ones to fight who was coming, what had been going on eons ago? What will they do? Duck, or dive?