Duck Jokes Novels & Stories

"Pfff.. puwapuwahaha! His name is Dick! Yours is Butt! Who the hell Are your parents! Fuck them! Haha! What a name.. dick!" *giggles... "Dick and Butt! Haha! You seem more like friends then. Haha!" Luis Park can't stop laughing. The names of these two God's made him laughed! Yet... This God, a God who looked like a Duck is boiling! He was beat in red! "Oh, oh!" Butt felt something is wrong with the air. "Master stop laughing or else...*paused.." But warned his master but he still keeps laughing. "HAHAHA!"

Next to the message was a very unflattering doodle of what was clearly meant to be him, with exaggerated features and a questionably shaped head. Jake’s face turned red with rage. But before he could process the humiliation that had just been served to him, his phone alarm suddenly went off— “QUACK QUACK QUACK, WAKE UP, LOSER! QUACK QUACK QUACK!” A horrifyingly loud chorus of screaming ducks filled the entire room. Jake scrambled for his phone, but the more he fumbled, the worse it got. He couldn’t shut it off. And as if the universe truly had it out for him, his dorm neighbor banged on the wall.

“No, they really wouldn’t.” “No, they wouldn’t,” Tracy agreed. “You’re a real hero.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m a regular Superman,” I joked. DJ grinned next to me. “You can’t be Superman,” he protested. He looked back at Tracy and smiled. “My daddy’s a hero like Batman, because he can’t fly either.” I burst out laughing then immediately winced when it hurt my ribs. I grinned down at DJ, who was giggling to himself at his joke. “That was classic. Good job,” I congratulated, holding out my hand for a high five. He grinned and slapped his hand on mine.

We had been working together for weeks now, and I had grown to trust him implicitly. Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered a silly joke my brother used to tell me when we were kids. "Hey, Claus, why did the chicken go to the doctor?" I asked, trying to stifle a grin. Claus raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "I don't know, why?" he asked. I giggled. "Because it had fowl breath!" I exclaimed, bursting out laughing. Claus chuckled, shaking his head. "You're such a goofball," he said, smiling.

she wailed uncontrollably, frantically clawing at Vanessa's clothes. Everyone in the room was stunned. "What are you doing?" Vanessa screamed as she struggled. "Let go, you insane woman! Investments always come with risk! How is it my fault if you lost money?" "Investments?" I scoffed coldly. I pulled out a thick stack of bank statements from my bag and slammed them onto the dining table. "You call these 'investments', Vanessa?" I glanced at the male colleagues who had been cracking vulgar jokes at the table earlier and said loudly, "Over the past six months, Vanessa has used Mr. Studdard's name to set up three investment group chats and scammed nearly six million dollars from everyone.

"No wonder you're not partying with us. You've got yourself a sure thing, don't you? Who needs a cleat chaser when you've got a classy act like that all to yourself?" A locker slams in the background. "You're a dick, Shivel," I snap. "Just because I have plans with a woman doesn't mean I'm going to fuck her. I can have fun with more than my dick, ya know." "No," he says. "You can't. None of us can. Soccer and pussy. They're the only things we need."

“I walked into a Duck,” he says casually. I snort. More like he picked a fight with the Anaheim Ducks — because of Lee. Again. It’s not that Jackson can’t get into fights on his own — he likes doing that. It’s just lately, they all seem to orbit around his pint-sized roommate. “You walked into a duck?” Dr. Burden repeats, blinking at him like she just realized she is dealing with idiots. “Yeah,” Jackson says, grin widening. “But not the quack-quack kind. The ones from Anaheim who shoot pucks.”

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

The fun stopped for a few minutes as the group laughed at them, most making jokes about the enormous size of his dick. "Does that thing have an elbow?" was one he saw. "Does it come with instructions?" "Does it have its own zipcode?" "Does it have its shots?" "Is there a warning label included?" "Can he do a pushup with it?" "How is he conscious with all the blood in his body powering that monster?" Laughing, he shook his head and sat back, Amy resuming what she was doing. After ten minutes or so, the group voted for them to have Duncan fuck the smallest one of the group, Danielle.

He said this to me while stuttering and sweating profusely on his palm. I paused for a moment before smiling because I suddenly remembered an old joke. "What makes fowl so amusing?" Arthur arched his brow and couldn't come up with an answer. I cleared my throat and imitated how fowls make noise. "Becauseeeeee!!" I declared, making both of us laugh out loud.