Dumb Jokes That Are Funny Novels & Stories

“You’re like a sister to me. So, fuck it. Any other girl? Hell no.” I couldn’t help but laugh, the absurdity hitting me full force. “You know what? You’re hilarious, Nelly. I remember when you were still so dry, making those lame jokes about ‘six seven’ and cracking up when no one else found it funny. Good old days.” “Huh? My jokes were actually funny, girl.” She poked my side playfully, feigning offense. “Your humor—and everyone else’s—was definitely broken.” “Yeah, sure,” I dragged out, giggling. “Six-seven,” I teased again, mimicking her old deadpan delivery.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

Easter frowned trying to think but then shook her head negatively. "An impasta!" With that, they both started laughing making Sarah stare at the man dumbfounded. She heard this joke trillion times and she was sure this man must have used it many times as well but he was still laughing like a hyena. Darren looked up finding the woman he wanted to meet standing there with ridiculed expression openly telling him how lame his joke was. Sarah turned away from him grabbing the bags but watching her struggling with them he chuckled lowly standing up and making Easter look at him.

I muttered, “if I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t poison you. I’d shoot you instead.” Their mouths dropped open, and I realized too late that I shouldn’t be joking about something like that. A nervous laugh fell from my lips. “I—I was only joking. You’d be able to smell poison from a mile away, and I know you’ll get the gun away from me within seconds.” Devrim was the first to break the silence. “You humans have a sick sense of humour. I don’t really see what’s so funny in what you said.” “I’m sorry.”

He replied, returning a smile. “Can I tell you a joke?” “Sure.” “What do you call a cow with one leg missing?” “I don't know, what do you call it?” He asked with a confused look. “Lean beef.” I burst out laughing, not able to contain my laughter. Aspen giggled. “That is the lamest joke I have ever heard in my entire life.” “But you laughed. Didn't you?” I asked with my fingers pointed towards him. “I did. I will give you that.”

“What happened to baby?” “You hijacked it first.” “What did I do first?” “Called me baby.” “We both can say baby girl.” “No then it's an echo.” “What is an echo?” “What you sounding like now.” “I have not heard of anything dumber.” “You will see how dumb it is when you start doing it.” “Do you know how dumb it is thinking it?” “Did you just call me dumb?” “I might of perhaps.” “You might have perhaps not be getting any sex.” “You can't do that.”

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

*huff* "That's not an actual reason, dumbass" Dumb??? It's not dumb! "You look stupid. Are all humans the same?" What's with him? He called me a dumbass before and now stupid, and still, I can't get angry at him. Otherwise, he will snap my neck into two. "Hahaha" He laughed hard. "You are too small and can't talk, and you stink. Your blood is not giving me a smell, and you are too skinny to eat. You are not worth anything, so I don't have any reason to spare you"

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.