Farmer Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

"You're mine, Vane. On the ice, off the ice, and especially behind closed doors. No one else touches you." "And if they do, Captain?" Jaxson's hand slammed against the locker room wall, caging me in. His eyes were dark, feral, and burning with something that had nothing to do with hockey. "Then I'll destroy them. And then I'll remind you exactly who you belong to." He was the ruthless team captain. I was the rookie who got under his skin. It was supposed to be just stress relief. A dirty secret hidden behind locked doors and bruised lips. But when his rules turned into obsession, and his jealousy turned dangerous, I realized the most terrifying thing wasn't getting caught… It was that I wanted him to claim me in front of everyone. **🔥 Enemies to Lovers | Possessive Captain x Bratty Rookie | Secret Relationship | College Hockey | M/M 🔥**

Vampire Selina, after avenging her brother's murder, slept for five hundred years, after which she was forced to wake up by a strange scent. Just woke up from a long sleep, she was forced to sign a blood contract by a human girl - Oralie Langley. Oralie promises that after Selina helps her get revenge, she will forcefully break the contract, volunteering to turn to ashes and set Selina free. Selina is convinced, reluctantly along with this lowly human to go through the conspiracies and engage in danger. Oralie - A human girl who is warm, gentle, and sincere, like a little sun. And a vampire as hungry for warmth as Selina fell in love with that girl. But this little sun, not as bright as it seems… After all, who is Oralie? What is her true identity? And her true purpose, is it as simple as she says it is? Stripping away this beautiful skin, what does Oralie have left? Is it a corrupt conspiracy, or a dirty truth?

God forbid black and grey-furred werewolves walked amongst the others. As royals, the King and Queen had fur white as snow. The noblemen, their fur was either silver or gold. The commoner’s fur was red or brown. Then there was me, Deonna, fur as black as coal.Marlon Roessler was the most honored nobleman, master of the Roessler family, and the only one capable of competing with the King himself. He spent his life thinking that dark-furred wolves were uncleansed, uneducated, bottomless creatures. I was a dirtball wolf slave, and I was meant to be repulsed by him. Yet his wolf wouldn’t let him be disgusted; his wolf wanted me, as his MATE.God must want to kill me faster to make me his mate, especially we have sex after a drug accident. But after As the weeks went on, it seemed as though my relationship with Marlon has only grown more intense. He came into my room only to have sex again and agian.A dirty black sex slave. That is what I am.Until he said, he was mesmerized by me.

“Fuck. Come for me, kitten” I grunt buring to the hilt, I stimulate her clit the way she likes. “Now!” “Mhmm… ahh! Yes daddy!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.  *** Wren had no idea what the holiday has in store for her when she decided to join her mother for it. She didn't expect to find herself alone on some remote island with Alpha Ronan, her stepfather. Without her ill mother!Ronan has always been a gentleman and she should have no reason to panic because they are alone but what if she is the dirty one who has been having weird fantasies about her own stepfather? No wonder she was dubbed ‘the weirdo’ in the pack. It all makes sense to her.What happens when they find out they are mates? And he woefully rejected her but offered for her to be his mistress during the entire holiday because he couldn't stay away either. She agreed to become his Holimate.

Tired of living her life monotonously after witnessing the most gruesome dark sides of life. Phoebe Carter couldn't be more than ecstatic given the opportunity to work in a foreign country with people as powerful as Hunter industries and Russo Industries. And of course to work alongside her friends Ava Hayes and Noah Hunter. However things take a swift turn when she lays her eyes on Blaze Hunter, CEO of Hunter Industries, and every single boundary she set in her life is shattered. Like a moth to a flame, she desires him, and surprisingly for her, the feeling is mutual. But we can't always say yes to our deep dark desires now can we? After all, Phoebe is anything but normal and Blaze is the exact opposite of what he seems to be. Even with a lot of things at stake, they continue their passionate affair. As dirty secrets are revealed, all the rules are shattered, lives taken, psychotic sides revealed, will it all end in an inferno? For some people are too damaged to be ever fixed at all.

The day I was reborn, I came across that anonymous post again. “My sponsor is like a sister to me, but her husband gives me butterflies. “I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop myself from feeling this way. Yesterday, we got down and dirty on the couch she bought.” Back in my past life, this very post broke me. In a fit of rage, I exposed their filthy secret to the world. The girl I once gave my heart and soul to help succumbed to cyberbullying and took her life by jumping off a building. After the funeral, my husband, Taylor Rogue, became a devoted and gentle man, only to lock me up in a mental institution the moment I put down my walls. “You should spend the rest of your life atoning for ruining Ivy!” With three years of pills and electric shock stripping away my sanity and dignity, I climbed to the roof and leaped. When I opened my eyes, I was back to the moment everything began.

Life is never black and white. One minute you’re a struggling graphic designer in LA that's finally coming to terms with being single forever, and the next you're flying to New York in a private jet to get engaged to your ex-boyfriend’s older brother. At least...that’s what everyone thinks. Forced to clean up his playboy image in order to protect his company, Beckham Sinclair, the city’s most eligible billionaire bachelor, wants me to be his fake fiancée and personal assistant. Now I'm spending every spare second with a man I thought I’d never see again. My freshly mended heart has barely recovered from the first time a Sinclair broke it. But with each passing day, Beck’s dirty mouth and lingering stares make me question his motives—and mine. As the line blurs between real and pretend, only one thing is certain: there are secrets hiding in this city full of black ties and white lies.

Annabella has spent her life as the invisible daughter, the "little mouse" her brother mockingly named her. As the Beta's third-in-line heir, she should command respect. Instead, she endures her father Eugene's abuse in silence, documenting everything with hidden cameras while treasuring anonymous gifts from a secret admirer who sees her worth. For three years, she's found solace in Lucious, the second-born Alpha Heir who defies his brothers' cruel jokes to love her openly. But on her eighteenth birthday, everything changes. The mate bond doesn't just snap into place with Lucious; it ignites with all six Alpha Heirs. A legendary sixfold bond, the rarest connection their kind has known in centuries. Before Annabella can process this revelation, her world shatters. Her father didn't just abuse her; he sold her. A contract with the Moon Slashers Pack, half a million dollars, and a plan to rip her from Lucious's arms and deliver her to another Alpha's bed. Her brother Tate, her supposed protector, helped orchestrate it all. When Eugene's betrayal explodes at her coming-of-age breakfast, Annabella's forced first shift becomes a desperate flight for survival. Six mates who failed to protect her now race to prove their worth. A father willing to destroy anyone in his path to power. A mother she believed dead for five years: alive, drugged, imprisoned. And hidden camera footage revealing a conspiracy that spans multiple packs, threatens the Alpha's reign, and exposes a trafficking ring built on selling she-wolves like livestock. The little mouse was never weak. She was waiting for her moment to roar. Six mates. One truth. And chains that are finally breaking.

Ella James has spent most of her life being overlooked, underestimated, or laughed at. At school, she’s the girl in the oversized hoodies. The girl people make jokes about. The girl no one chooses. After years of disappointment, Ella has learned not to expect much from anyone—especially not from Beckett Cross. Popular, confident, and seemingly perfect, Beckett has always been everything Ella avoids. He’s the kind of boy who belongs at the center of every room while she’s spent years trying to disappear into the background. Then a family emergency forces Ella to move in next door. Suddenly, the boy who barely notices her at school becomes impossible to avoid. Inside his home, Beckett is different. Kinder. Softer. Protective in ways that leave Ella questioning everything she thought she knew about him. But every morning when they walk back into school, the walls go back up, leaving Ella trapped between two versions of the same boy. One who looks at her like she’s special. And one who acts like she doesn’t matter. As feelings grow and old insecurities refuse to stay buried, Beckett finds himself facing a truth he never expected: somewhere between late-night conversations, family dinners, and stolen moments, Ella became the first person he looks for. But loving Ella means more than feeling something when nobody is watching. It means choosing her when everyone is. And for a girl who’s spent her entire life feeling like someone’s second choice, that may be the one thing she can never compromise on. A slow-burn emotional romance about self-worth, first love, healing old wounds, and learning that being seen can be the scariest—and most beautiful—thing of all.

"I will not only make you forget this pain, but I will also make you forget the thought of looking at any other man. It will be only me forever. I will please you in ways you can never imagine. Just say yes." He spoke as he pinned her chest to his. "This is wrong! This is forbidden!" She murmured as her body continued to tremble with forbidden desires. He was supposed to return from the States as the stepbrother she loathed with the whole of her heart, but he seemed to have undergone a spellbinding transformation abroad. And him? He anticipated meeting his nettlesome, egocentric stepsister, who was good at nothing but irritating his demons. Contrary to his thoughts, the jaw-dropping hot babe that came to pick him up at the airport whetted his every sense of being—everything that depicted him as a man. It's wrong. It's forbidden. Yet, they went undercover and under the covers to quench their burning desires, which seem like irresistible obsessions. But how prepared are they for the consequences when their dirty secrets are revealed?