Fiction Funny Books Novels & Stories

One long, hard suck and then he swirled, earned every wet drop on his tongue and drank it-the sound obscene in the still air. Claire tilted her head back and moaned-not loud enough to echo through the library, but loud enough to shake her own bones. The call numbers on the spines blurred as emotion overtook her. No time for books. This was now audible. Her skirt had ridden up over her ass. His tongue dipped deeper, then rose again in filthy circles, working rhythm like a chant. He alternated slow, deep laps with fast stabs of the tip of his tongue, over and over, pinned tender and open above that stool.

she giggled at her own joke. Guila’s giggle rippled through the air, a moment of levity amidst the heavy atmosphere. Her joke, bizarre and unexpected, painted a vivid picture in my mind. I couldn’t help but smile at her words, the image she conjured absurdly amusing. It was as if, even in the darkest moments, she managed to find a glimmer of humor, a ray of light that pierced through the shadows.

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

A childhood visual of the old witch from the library Hansel and Gretel book pops into my head and only increases the giggles I exude. “I hope not, I’m barely grown, and she might add me to tonight’s menu. I’m too big for an oven!” I point out between snorts of stupid laughter and Meadow caves and starts giggling too, lightening our whole mood. I guess the tension and the heavy weight of this journey has us strung out enough, that even a lame joke like this has enough power to break the strings and have us erupt. It’s needed, between us, this bonding over awful jokes.

Damn, Freckles. The first book I pulled out was called “Images You Should Not Masturbate To”. I snorted, flipping through a couple of pages and shaking my head. That sarcastic streak of hers ran deep. I grabbed another, the title catching my eye: “How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill.” I let out a short laugh, one that came from somewhere I’d almost forgotten existed. Then there were the others—Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself, Do-It-Yourself Coffins for Pets and People, and, for good measure, How to Raise Your IQ by Eating Gifted Children. I shook my head, glancing back at her still sleeping form.

"Pregnancy has become disadvantage to you, Kitcat...I bet he'll tell you the grass is too green for you to step outside tomorrow." "Shut up, Liam. I'm not trying to make jokes." "And see...your pregnancy has become a disadvantage to me too...look at him snapping at me because of a fetus." "I'd advise you to shut your mouth, Liam...his face is getting red, it's about to swell...he's transforming into..." "Angry bird!" Liam and Fredd bursted out into hysterical laughing at their apparently funny joke...but Zillon didn't seem to find it funny, he was as serious as judge. "F*cking idiots..."

He asked looking at me with genuine concern. It was at that point, that I remember the book that I had found, which was now on laying on the floor, half opened. My eyes trailed the book and Dominic’s eyes followed my eyes, he walked towards the book and before I could grab it he did. He flipped opened the book and read the contents and then immediately burst into laughter. Was that book a comedy? What the heck was funny to this guy? “Give me that!” I said yanking the book from him anxiously, “what the heck is funny?” I nervously.

"But how did you get the supplies to keep clean? How many pairs of clothes did you have? Did you change them whenever you take a bath or did you wait till your old clothes to rip before getting another pair?" "Do you have a phone? How did you spend your time there? Do you know what F******k is?" One of the guys asked, leaning forward to look at me curiously. I tilted my head in confusion. "We didn't have many books to read there…but I did read some romance novels. My favourite is 'pride and prejudice'." I replied with a smile. They all went silent for a moment and then looked at each other before bursting into loud laughter. I stood there not knowing what they were all laughing at. My cheeks

Alicia brought out her 'Common Entrance Solution' textbooks and started to revise it to while away time. "Auntie Bukunmi, where do Eskimos live?" She asked inquisitively to a Bukunmi who paid little attention. "I have no idea, maybe a cottage or something." Alicia burst into laughter. She laughed to an extent Bukunmi felt slightly embarrassed. "I don't think that's funny, don't Eskimos live in cottages?" Alicia burst into laughter again. This time, uncontrollably. "Hehehe, that was so soo off point." She chucked.

Bright and early the next day, I showed up at the office as usual. I ignored the whispers and stares, and made a beeline for my desk to start clearing it out. That was when Lily waltzed over, oozing fake sympathy. "Janice, can't you take a joke? "Come on, it was just a little toilet cleaning. Why'd you have to go and tell Mr. Hoffman you're quitting? No need to blow things out of proportion. "Look, I'll even dip into my own wallet and toss you a little extra cash to make up for it.