Funniest Glee Quotes Novels & Stories

I snort. What a cliché quote some or other happy drunk motivational speaker concocted when he was at a loss for words. It must be the same asshole who suggested grabbing life by the horns, that winners never quit, and that everything happens for a reason. “Well, keep on dreaming, girl.” Cause that dream is not gonna happen. Luckily, that’s Axel’s shit. Not mine. I fake a smile, “Cheers!” and throw the alcohol down my throat before I bite into a piece of lemon. The sour taste causes goosebumps on my skin.

And when he said the last words… something about her getting lucky to be invited as a slut, I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped me. I tried all I could to keep it down though, I was careful enough to leave the sound for my ears alone. But when he said the next words that criticized Damian himself for his weird choices in women, I couldn't keep my laughter down as much as I did the first. It came out louder and I didn't bother fidgeting on spilled milk. I laughed because everything he said was funny, if anyone had an issue with that, they might as well face me. Preferably, I'd rather it was Elena or her lapdog, Gabriella.

“I—I miss her. Okay? I miss Izzy. I miss my Bella. I thought I was gonna be a dad and now I don’t even have the damn dog.” I gaped. “You’re seriously playing this?!” Agnes choked on a laugh. “Wait, wait—listen to this part. This is where he tries to quote poetry.” “Tell her... tell her I still remember the smell of her shampoo. It smelled like strawberries and muffins.” I covered my face with a file and screamed. “MAKE IT STOP.” Agnes was wheezing with laughter. “I swear to god, I’ve never heard a grown man cry that hard over fruit-scented hair products.”

She checked her watch and then fell silent. “Why don’t you love me, Glee? Did you ever?” “What?” “Have you ever loved me? Or was it all make-believe. Everything. Our whole lives together. Was it?” Glee gritted her teeth. “You fool. You absurd, foolish old man. That’s what you choose to say to me now? Really?”

"One day, a crab accidentally bumped into an octopus. The octopus got mad and yelled, 'Are you clumsy?' The crab replied, 'No, I'm just a little shell-shocked.'" Speechless and confused, Serena replied, "Mr. Quade, was that meant for someone else?" Wilson promptly replied, "Nope. Just saw it, thought it was funny, and figured I'd share." Serena reread the joke, a small smile playing on her lips. The next message, "Are you asleep?" sent a surprising warmth through her. Something between them felt different. Meanwhile, across town, at the club, Jacob observed Wilson staring intently at his phone. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"You, you, …. shameless...Shut up! Shut up! Get lost!" "Hahaha…!!!" Glinda's playful laughter fading in the distance slowly...

He cut himself off with another bout of laughter. I groaned, dropping my head onto the table. “I was not praying,” I mumbled, my voice barely audible over the continued laughter. “Oh?” Riley tilted his head. “Then why were you saying it so much?” Caleb nearly fell off his chair. Jade had to physically turn away, shaking with silent laughter. I was never going to live this down. I watched as Caroline leaned in close to Riley, a wicked smirk playing on her lips, her voice dripping with mockery.

it was the funniest thing i've ever seen There was a pause. Longer than usual. Long enough that I glanced at the screen twice before the reply finally came through. Him: sounds like he's got good taste then Me: lol you're avoiding the actual point Him: what point Me: the point where nate callahan is jealous over ME Him: I mean. can you blame him I didn't think much of the pause. I was too busy laughing at my own phone like an idiot. Me: goodnight, weirdo

Andres explains, which causes my friends and me to laugh. "It's fine, sir. It was high school. I'm sure nobody was a saint in high school," Maximilian says, which causes Justin to laugh. "True," Justin says with a laugh. And just like that, in the blink of an eye, this joke was no longer funny. Justin wasn't a saint. He couldn't stay loyal to Via for more than a day, even if God himself paid him to do so. Via, Georgia, and Dean's fiancée—who I should really learn the name of—each walk in with two plates in each hand and begin to place one in front of each of us.

joke by the jolly sextuplet. "Oh Moon Goddess, help me. If I make it out alive, then I will stop gawking at hot, naked Italian dudes in my painting class,” I prayed and got both my ears boxed from both my mates. "Owww ! Stop damaging these handsome goods. I might die after this,” I wailed. "Oh you will surely die before you even sit on a bike,” Bella threatened, making me chuckle and pull her towards me to kiss the top of her head. Zane's sad eyes averted away when he saw us together and he turned his attention back to Dre, Samantha's Beta.