Funny And Bad Pick Up Lines

A car accident leaves me unconscious for a full three years. When I wake up, my family bursts into tears of joy. They care for me with the utmost attention. But from their behavior, I sense something is wrong. There are women's clothes in the house that don't fit me. My mother's shopping cart is filled with mysterious baby items. My father's friends send congratulatory messages about a new child, and my husband is always working overtime. When my husband once again leaves me alone under the pretext that there is something urgent at the company, I secretly follow him. Inside a warmly decorated house, my parents and husband sit around a table. A woman who looks almost exactly like me is holding a baby just a few months old, gently coaxing the child to call my husband "Daddy".

I was pulled by a beast-like man who mistook me for a slut. On the same day, I saw my fiancé having sex with my step-sister. Such a bad night that I was thrown out of the country and gave birth to a child from a man who mistook me for a prostitute. When I returned because I was conned, the man met me again and whispered in my ear. "You're not a slut?" I know this man is dangerous, he shouldn't be the father of my child, but he keeps chasing me. Are we going to catch him?

WOKE UP SERIES: BOOK II I’ve been wishing to see the world end… but why do I felt this way now I see it for myself? Running as if my life depends on it, every alley and corner I turned into, I tried my best not to slip and get caught. Hah, it seems like I would pass out due to exhaustion any time soon! Never once in my life did I run away like this! Damn it! With this fat body of mine, surely there is no hope! How can a shut in person like me can even do running in laps. I thought that I was strong a while ago but it seems like I was just over reacting. Dang 'No no no noooo they will catch up on me shit!' Why did I even come in this situation in the first place!? What hell!! . . . [Day 1 Quest: Would you like to see it?]

A fake relationship full of forbidden heat . . .Emilia Torres has everything she's ever wanted. After years of struggling to become an actress, she's finally caught her big break - a part opposite the hottest star in Hollywood, the gorgeous and charming Luca Fontaine.But her biggest role might be the one she plays off-screen, where she and Luca pretend to be in love.The rules for their relationship are simple: in front of the paparazzi, they play the perfect Hollywood couple. In private, their contract states that all feelings - and sex - are absolutely forbidden.It's the perfect publicity stunt - until someone wants more. Needs more.Sometimes, the truth is even hotter than the lies . . .Due to explicit scenes, this steamy romance is rated 18+.The Lies Between the Lines is created by Ember Casey, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

“IKAW?” My eyes nearly popped out of my face when I saw him—the mysterious stranger from last night. Is it him? The same man? Parang gusto kong mahimatay. Wehh? Hindi pwede! Impossible! my inner voice screamed, pero ang katawan ko nanginginig na parang nakuryente. Hard f*ck na yata ng buhay ‘to. And suddenly, a memory crashed into me like a tidal wave. That night. That stupid, reckless night. The stolen kisses, the laughter between moans, the way he made me beg—“Wag kang titigil!”—like I’d lose myself if he stopped. I swore I’d never see him again. I swore it was just a one-night stand, a mistake I could bury. But now he’s standing right in front of me. Not just a man. Not just anyone. But the CEO. And worse… the ex-boyfriend who once shattered my heart. His smug grin sent shivers down my spine. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” he said, like fate itself was mocking me. I froze, torn between rage, fear, and something I couldn’t even name. My mind screamed run, but my heart whispered, stay. My world was spinning, and suddenly, every choice felt heavier than ever. Will this be the start of something dangerous… or a responsibility I can’t escape?

"He was supposed to be cannon fodder. Now he’s the CEO’s obsession.” Sky Templeton thought dying broke was the worst fate. That was until he opened his eyes in the body of a doomed secretary inside a cheesy romance novel he once rage-dropped. The role? Cannon fodder, destined to be crushed under the heel of the cold and ruthless billionaire CEO, Dream Lancaster. But life gives Gloss no time to despair. A mischievous system binds to him with cruel missions: survive 100 days, raise the CEO’s affection score from -1000 to +1000, and…most terrifying of all, rewrite his tragic ending. Gloss only wanted to survive. He never expected to become entangled in office politics, fake dating contracts, or the dangerous pull of a man who despised him. Yet, with every mission cleared, Dream’s icy mask begins to crack, revealing scars and loneliness Gloss never thought a ruthless CEO could carry. Was this just the system’s game, or had fate rewritten both their stories?

With mixed feelings, Jillian Moore goes to the casting of the new season of "The Super Model" to investigate the case of a missing girl behind the scenes. Before she knows it, she stumbles into a turbulent whirlpool of glamour, ambition and shady dealings. When, to make matters worse, she falls in love and has to shimmy from one lie to the next, her life seems to come completely apart at the seams ...

It was never Mila's intention to send explicit images of herself to her crush's father. The realization that her dad's best friend had seen her nude was a nightmarish thought she wished to wake up from. To her surprise, Mr. Williams requested another naked picture of her. But she couldn't comply. He was her crush's father and her father's best friend. How could she possibly act like nothing had happened when they were coming over for dinner? Feeling trapped as Mr. Williams cornered her. He used one hand to pull up the bottom of her dress and the other to grab a handful of her hair, forcing her to arch her back. "Please," Mila whispered. "Please, Mr. Williams." A moan involuntarily escaped her lips as she felt his erection pressing against her buttocks. "You have no idea how much power I hold over you, Mila," he murmured. "Anything I desire, you will give me, or do you want me to show your father the picture you sent me?" Mila's grip on the counter grew tighter as she pushed her backside against him. This was all a mistake. It felt so wrong. "What do you want?" she asked. "You, on your knees in front of me."

Jules has two problems. Ever since she woke up in the forest on her Prom night, she has sleepwalked and woken up in the middle of the same forest with a knife in her hand and no recollection of what occurred the night before. Her second problem is the intense desire she has for Rowan Cross. Rowan Cross has two problems. His Halo Master, Tristan wants him to investigate the disappearance of supernatural students who have gone missing on their college campus, and he wants Jules with every fiber of his being.

What would you do when your sexy fiancé’s brother pins you to the bed, moans your name, and demands your surrender? Ava Morgan just witnessed a pile of shit—her fiancé having sex with his cousin. As a “good girl,” Ava should accept it and stay out of trouble. Instead she’s been drawn into Alexander Clark’s orbit—the notorious kingpin the whole town fears. • “You’re so wonderful, babe. Your eyes are beautiful.” • “Don’t cry, okay? Give me your hand.” • “What is this? Is this the baby’s clitoris?” • “How adorable! Touch it.” Pleasure floods her mind and nearly makes her forget her mission: she must secure power through marriage to save her family. If the affair is exposed, the consequences will destroy them. What will she do next? Stay, leave, or burn it all down?