Funny Christian Jokes

"In a garden full of flowers, the beast chose her. Among the roses she was, and although her petals were tainted with blood, to him, she was the prettiest of them all" Fate and it's funny ways. It's so fascinating when things could be so twisted, yet perfect at the same time. There has to be darkness for the light to shine and before every beautiful rainbow, there's an ugly storm. Isn’t this what our parents tell us in order to keep us calm? Rosalya was in an urgent need of this saying. She is found in a very hard and tricky situation when her world is suddenly flipped upside down. Her life going from quiet to loud, from sad and boring to interesting and wild. An Alpha King is the least she imagined would appear in her life, but that’s what life gave her. The change wasn’t exactly received happily... but it was definitely something that she would not regret in the future. She’s just a small delicate flower... one that manages things that she never knew were in her reach. Happiness and sadness, love and despair. Before every happy ending, there’s a roller coaster of a journey. Let’s see what this one holds for us to read.

“Your body belongs to me now—every curve, every breath, every sound you make. I’ll leave no inch untouched, no part of you unloved, to remind you that you’ll never belong to anyone else.” ========== To protect his inheritance, Christian Blackwood, an arrogant and self-centred billionaire, is forced to take a drastic step: hire a surrogate. Olivia Carter has never needed anyone. But with her brother’s life hanging by a thread and medical bills piling up, she’s willing to do whatever it takes to save him—even if it means signing her body over to a stranger. Christian’s proposition is crazy, strange and exactly what she needs. The terms of the contract are clear—a baby, no emotions, no entanglements and absolutely no love. But from the moment Olivia steps into Christian’s life, sparks ignite. She’s everything he didn’t expect: fierce, vulnerable and utterly captivating. Christian can’t stop himself from wanting more—more of her touch, her laughter, her heart. But Olivia knows better than to fall for a man like him. With secrets, desires and a ticking clock threatening to tear them apart, Christian must decide: protect his heart or risk everything for the woman who’s become his obsession.

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

Bitten by a mysterious sin-eater was an accident. Zachary Oliver wanted to spend the next four weeks of his life in the picturesque Bulgaria where he wanted to recharge and invigorate. His corporate life sucks. A mischievous and vengeful Goddess makes it her life’s purpose to wreck havoc in humans. Persephone will stop at nothing to get the revenge she had always wanted. Helena Battenberg, a noble sin-eater finds herself, slowly falling in love with the accidental Vampire. In the midst of chaos and the need to survive, the accidental vampire will find his place in the sin-eater world and finds his way to eternal romance.

What happens when a wedding planner has to work alongside a temperamental and annoying bride's brother to plan the wedding of the year? Chaos, pure chaos. The last thing Violet needed was a man to touch her slightly not so flat stomach (or perhaps it was a little more than slightly not to flat) and press her against a wall. She wasn't a model, and she knew it. So naturally, she just sucks her stomach in. Violet prided herself on creating the best weddings society has ever seen, the last thing she needed was to go head to head with the bride's brother, when planning Melbourne's biggest wedding of the year. Alex was everything Violet could dream about, but not touch. Handsome, built straight out of a magazine with the six pack. Was his interest in Violet genuine, or just another charm for the bedrest?

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Victoria Carson is 17 and in love with Bruce Wayne and Thera nothing that could make her happier. That is till a summer mistake threatens the he dreams and hopes for a brighter future. Could she ever be able to face Bruce? Or will she keep this a secret even if it's driving a wedge between her and her future? Bruce Wayne just couldn't be happier, finally coming home to his beautiful girlfriend, the love of his life. He is confused and hurt when she starts to ignore him, frustrated Bruce is set on finding the cause of her strange behavior. But is he ready for the truth? As it shakes the very foundation of their relationship, will they ever be able to get through this,or is their love doomed to fail?

"Le--Leave Me, Christian" I stuttered, as his closeness was driving me crazy. I was screaming in my mind to push him away, I belonged to someone else but... my heart was ditching at that moment, telling me to melt in his arms again and drown in the pleasure pool. He seemed to be the firm rock in my solitude providing me light in my mafia dark world. Ivanna being the simple girl was a love-struck fool until she was dumped by the man, whom she loved dearly. Her life then reversed a whole 180 degrees when a stranger entered simultaneously with her ex's entry, who wanted forgiveness and to get back with her. Ivanna was left with two choices: one who had been a complete stranger to her but brought immense happiness and light while the other with whom she had a complicated past. Who will she choose? .

My pack. My family. My mate. My power. Isn't it funny how we think we are all born to just go through the motions? A child of the alpha is supposed to behave a certain way, train a certain way and be the leaders the pack will need. But what happens when family secrets come out and a grave threat is looming? . Alley was the only daughter of an alpha to the second largest pack in the world. Each year they hold their annual wolf ball where everyone comes in hopes to meet their mates. One single night Alley looked forward to, ruined by rogues but saved by her mate. Dreams that seem like nightmares become reality when Alley has to look into not only her family history but her wolfs history to learn why she and her wolf are different. Why someone is after her for a power she doesn't yet understand. Stephen, her mate who is the alpha to the largest pack is determined to protect her against anything that comes. With the two biggest packs protecting her what could go wrong? Alliances that have been unheard of are made, but Alley is ready to push aside their differences in hopes to save every supernatural race and not just her own but will their leaders do the same? When the ultimate battle happens who will show and who will hide?

The world might think billionaire Xavier Gaines has it all, but he’s got a big problem. His successful software company is about to sign a government contract that’ll land him smack in the glare of the public limelight, and his lifelong battle with social anxiety has marked him as a cold, uncaring bastard in the eyes of the press. To dispel the unflattering image, he needs help, and there’s only one person he trusts with the job—Peyton Smoke. Gorgeous, kind, and funny, she agrees to be his media relations director and soon imbeds herself so deeply in his life, his world will crumble if anything upsets the balance. He cannot screw up their solid unit. No matter how achingly he desires her. Yet, how is he supposed to resist when she tugs emotions from him he didn’t think he was capable of experiencing? Especially since it appears he’s not the only one fighting their undeniable attraction. Ever-after might be possible...if he can convince her to believe in love again.Counterbalance is created by Kelly Moran, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.