Funny Condom Sayings

Utang ang dahilan kaya napapayag ni Dr. Storm Davis si Judith Dimaculangan na magpanggap na fiancee niya. Ang Lola Anastacia kasi niya gusto siyang mag-asawa na gayung hindi siya naniniwala sa pag-ibig kaya't para matigil na ang pangungulit sa kanya ng kanyang lola, naisipan niyang ipakilala rito si Judith bilang soon to be mapapangasawa niya. Ngunit, hindi niya goal na magustuhan ng lola niya si Judith kundi para sabihin ng lola niya ba 'ayoko sa kanya para sa'yo'. Ngunit, kabaligtaran ang nangyari. "I like you, iha," wika ng kanyang Lola Anastacia. Pero, hindi pa doon nagtapos ang pagkabigla niya. "I like you para sa apo kong si Jiwan." "No way," mariin niyang sabi nang marinig ang pangalan ng kapatid sa ina. Hinding-hindi makukuha ni Jiwan sa kanya si Judith, papakasalan na niya ito ASAP.

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Hazel Williams is a sweet affable 16-year-old who just started high school. When the people closest to her started dating, she felt left out and alone. Watching her crush with his girlfriend every day wasn't helping either, especially when Theo is her brother's best friend since kindergarten whom she practically grew up with. Her newfound friendship with her school's star dancer, Lee, helped her cope with her situation. But things got complicated when her long-time crush started to show feelings for her and at the same time, she found herself falling for her new best friend. Part 2 In the second year of high school, a new celebrity student arrives and turned her school upside down. What started as a student-guide relationship blossomed into a unique friendship. Her troubled new friend not only stirs the situations at school but also her relationship with her boyfriend. When her first-ever relationship finally came to an end, her old crush came back into her life for the Summer and they were tempted to rekindle their feelings for each other the year before. This story is still ongoing, read on to find out what happens next. Part 2 is currently only available on GoodNovel.

Malubha ang sakit ng ama ni Annalise Reyes kaya kinakailangan niyang isakripisyo ang kanyang pag-aaral at lumuwas ng manila para makahanap ng trabaho. Hindi niya alam kung sinusundan ba siya ni kamalasan o sadyang malas lang talaga siya dahil sa wala siyang mahanap na trabaho. Nang may nag-offer ay tinanggap niya ito dahil sa malaking pera ang kanyang matatanggap. Hindi niya alam na ang sanang paninira niya ng kasal ay siya itong maiikasal. Mas lalo niya itong hindi matanggap dahil sa isang Mafia boss pa siya naikasal na ubod ng sama. Matanggap kaya niya na mahuhulog siya sa lalaking aakalain niyang hindi niya magugustuhan? Matatanggap pa kaya niya ang kahihinatnan niya?

Ikakasal na lang ang bachelorette na si Alina Lovia, pero sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari ay bigla siyang napunta sa tapat ng isang lumang apartment habang nakasuot pa rin ng wedding gown. Laking-gulat niya nang tumagos siya sa dingding ng apartment na ‘yon at doon niya nakita ang isang lalaking hubu’t hubad habang nilalaro ang sarili nitong ari. Doon niya napagtanto na para bang isa na lamang siyang kaluluwa. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya namatay o kung may pumatay ba sa kaniya. Habang kaluluwa na lang siya, doon niya nalaman kung sino sa pamilya niya ang kakampi, kaaway at kung sino ang nagmamahal sa kaniya. Habang tumatagal din na palagi siyang nakabuntot kay Corvus Ferrara at napapanuod niya ang ginawa nito habang nakahubu’t hubad ay tila ba natatakam na siya sa rito. Naging pangarap niyang mabuhay ulit para kay Corvus. Naging pangarap niya na matikman ito. Ano ang magiging koneksyon ni Corvus Ferrara sa kaniya? Bakit siya lang ang nakarinig at nakikita sa kaniya? Ito ba ang makakatulong sa kaniya para malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kaniya at kung sino ang pumatay sa kaniya? Pero ang magandang tanong, tutulungan kaya siya ni Corvus?

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

"There Are THREE SIDES To Every Story. YOURS, HIS And The TRUTH."We both hold distaste for the other. We're both clouded by their own selfish nature. We're both playing the blame game. It won't end until someone admits defeat. Until someone decides to call it quits. But how would that ever happen? We're are just as stubborn as one another.Only one thing would change our resolution to one another. An Engagement. .......An excerpt -" To be honest I have no interest in you. ", he said coldly almost matching the demeanor I had for him, he still had a long way to go through before he could be on par with my hatred for him. He slid over to me a hot cup of coffee, it shook a little causing drops to land on the counter. I sighed, just the sight of it reminded me of the terrible banging in my head. Hangovers were the worst. We sat side by side in the kitchen, disinterest, and distaste for one another high. I could bet if it was a smell, it'd be pungent."I feel the same way. " I replied monotonously taking a sip of the hot liquid, feeling it burn my throat. I glanced his way, staring at his brown hair ruffled, at his dark captivating green eyes. I placed a hand on my lips remembering the intense scene that occurred last night. I swallowed hard. How? I thought. How could I be interested?I was in love with his brother.