Funny Condom Sayings

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Zey, gadis pengangguran yang dijebak oleh Hazel, seorang pengusaha kaya hingga tragedi pernikahan yang tak diharapkan pun terjadi. Zey tidak mampu menolak karena kadung menanda tangani surat kontrak kerja yang mana di dalamnya tertulis bahwa ia harus menikah dengan sang majikan, jika Zey tak bersedia maka harus menerima denda sebesar 1 Miliar. Zey bahkan tak yakin dengan menjual diri bisa mendapatkan digit angka segitu. Benar-benar apes sekaligus beruntung. Masalah utamanya ialah, Hazel tak pernah percaya dengan Tuhan. 28 tahun ia hidup di dunia tak pernah sekali pun membuka kitab suci Al Qur'an. Dia merasa tertarik pada Zey sebab hanya gadis itu yang berani mengajukan tantangan berat untuknya. Terjebak dalam pernikahan sepihak. Zey pun mengajukan tantangan berupa khatam Al-Qur'an dan hafalan Ar-Rahman serta salat lima waktu tanpa bolong. Jika gagal, maka Zey berhak mengajukan perceraian. Apakah Hazel berhasil melakukan tantangan Zey? Apakah ada niat terselubung di balik tantangan Zey dan pernikahan paksa Hazel?

"I'll wait until you're old enough!" Was accepted by a young CEO as a personal servant when he was having trouble earning money to treat his mother's illness. "Agree to marry me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life." Violet was proposed at the age of 15 by Basil, a handsome and wealthy CEO. But when entering the world of the rich, there were rules that were not to be broken, but Violet broke them. Violet also accidentally found the killer who killed her father. Will Basil be able to wait until Violet is old enough to get married when Basil already has an arranged marriage and Viole is too young to be able to resist the plots to kill her? How will Basil protect Violet?

Isang buwan bago ideklara ng dating management na bankrupt na ang TheCompany pinakilala si Gil bilang bagong Presidente at CEO. Ayon sa mga business expert imposibleng makaahon ang TheCompany dahil sa pagkalubong nito sa utang. Pero pinatunayan ni Gil na kaya niyang maging posible ang imposible. Ano pang mga balakid na haharapin ni Gil sa kabila ng tinatamasang tagumpay? Si Ellie isang baguhang real estate agent. Ano ang magiging papel niya sa buhay ni Gil? Paalala: Ang kwentong ito ay kathang- isip lamang. Ang mga karakter, lugar at sitwasyon ay nagkataon lamang at hindi sinasadya ng may akda.

Olivia Summers, a hopeless romantic trying to win the heart of her 'one true love'. She's on her journey to find her soulmate. Until a casanova came along trying to break her heart and prove 'true love' does not exist. He's on his journey to shatter her hopes on love. Will she win her true love or will he succeed in breaking her heart first? Two completely different views and opinions on love but deep down they have a same goal: To chase and win in the game of love. But sometimes love is where they least expect it.

Right when she thought she was going to hit the ground something hard caught her, a pair of arms and when she looked up she was staring into a set of deep gray eyes..... This is my first attempt at writing so I'm sure there are plenty of mistakes, any and all comments/reviews are welcome. Thank you and I hope you enjoy 😄

Insomnia, depression and what's worse, he had absolutely no appetite. Things couldn't get any worse for him. Yet when life had already made him hit rock-bottom, there was nothing left to lose anymore. Thrown into such situation, a young man who wasn't in the best mental condition, suddenly got nicknamed Midnight and found himself visiting the same girl over and over again every night in her backyard. The girl being the same one he had had a crush on years ago. The problem is... This girl has no idea who he is, nor did he have any intention to let her know. In such situation a question arises: How do I make her like me back?

Mulat si Kristine sa buhay probinsya dahil magmula noong maghiwalay ang kanyang mga magulang ay kinuha siya ng kanyang ama at dinala sa probinsya upang doon manirahan. Sabik siya sa pagmamahal ng isang ina, kaya nang magkataong kailangan ng kanyang ina ang tulong niya, ay kaagad itong pumayag para lamang makapiling ito kahit na labag man sa kagustuhan ng ama. Lahat ay gagawin niya alang-alang sa gustong mangyari ng ina, ngunit hindi niya inaasahang ang tulong na hinihingi ng ina niya ang siyang makakapagpabago sa mga dati niyang nakagawian at buong katauhan.