Funny Condom Sayings

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

After a 12-year absence, Austin returns to the horse farm in Wyoming she has always considered her true home. But things have changed, and the farm she inherited comes with some enemies - one of them being the Carter family. Cortland Carter now handles his family's affairs and is determined to get the water rights back from his neighbor, who won them from his grandfather in a poker game. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together, and when Austin saves Cortland's niece, the two finally meet. Despite the feud between their families, they both feel a mutual attraction that cannot be denied. But with their families at odds, is there any hope for a future together? "Coming Home" is a heartwarming tale of love and betrayal.

Gwen is a rogue who hates pack wolves. After her parents were brutally murdered by their pack for a crime they did not commit, Gwen has had nothing but hatred in her heart. On a night hunt, Gwen encounters the legendary rogue killer, Alpha Liam. A man who hates rogues with every fibre of his being. However, the moon goddess likes to play funny games. Liam and Gwen are mates. But this bond does not stop their hatred for each other. Liam takes her back to his pack, unable to leave her but hateful of her existence. He offers Gwen a deal. They would be mated for as long as it took for her to produce an heir. The rogue and alpha are dancing on the thin line between lust, love and hate. Can they pretend for long?

“Can I fuck you?” “Yes.” The entire time he’s talking, his cock is teasing, caressing…I whimper and shift, needing more. He palms one breast and then both, twirling his wet fingers around my nipples. “When we fuck, I want you to watch, watch your gorgeous tits bounce as I find heaven in your pussy.” Again he teases, the girth of his hard shaft sliding over my folds. “I don’t want to use a condom with you ever again. Are you okay with that, feeling my cock inside your tight pussy?” *** Blackmailing my boss, the man with a panty-melting smirk and a reputation for being untamable, into posing as my date for my cousin’s wedding? What could possibly go wrong? Duncan Willis is everything I’m not: impossibly handsome, dangerously confident, and wrapped in a designer suit that hints at the power beneath. He’s the kind of man women fantasize about—and the kind who never looks twice at someone like me. Until I catch him in a compromising position. Suddenly, I have leverage. And I need a wedding date. But here’s the thing: He thinks I’m blackmailing him. He has no idea I’m falling right into his trap. Because Duncan doesn’t get forced—he gets even. And this weekend, in my childhood bedroom under my parents’ roof, the lines between fake dating and real desire are about to blur… until neither of us remembers this started as a lie.

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Claire nodded, then groaned as he withdrew his finger from her pulsing, aching sex. She heard him walk down the hallway, heard him open the drawer in the bedside table, heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper, heard him approach her again. And that whole time, she stayed where she was: legs trembling and open, hands clenched into fists on the wall, heart pounding and pussy fluttering. Suddenly, he was on her, his cock nudging her from behind, his hands on her hips. Claire whimpered again, pushed back against him. **** John “Griff” Griffin lives by rules. Always has. From the Navy to the SEALs to his job as a bodyguard at Solid Security, control is survival. Protocol saves lives. Boundaries exist for a reason, especially during honeypot ops. Break the rules, and people get hurt. Griff knows that better than anyone. The problem is Claire Worthington. Claire is supposed to be a spoiled socialite hiding after a billion-dollar Ponzi scheme. A criminal. A mark. Instead, she’s living quietly in Denver: working, rebuilding, and starting over like she actually means it. She doesn’t look guilty. She looks… real. When Griff breaks every rule and falls for her, it feels like freedom. It’s also a lie. He’s hiding his name, his job, and the truth – that he was sent to get close and gather evidence. If Claire knew, would she forgive him? Should she? And if she really is guilty, will Griff turn her in… or protect the woman he loves, no matter the cost?

“Did the condom really break all those years back or did you just want to baby trap me, Varian?” He looked at me, eyes freezing over, “I just did what time you would make sure you would never leave my side,” ••••••••••••• Varian and Thalia had been childhood sweethearts ever since they were little. He was the alpha son and she came from the Beta line, there's seemed like a perfect love story just waiting for its happy ending. That was until Thalia got a scholarship to go to Crescent University and pursue her dream of becoming a professional healer, it was supposed to mark the end of their relationship until another curveball was thrown at them–Thalia’s pregnancy. Her dream was eventually flushed down the toilet, exchanged for being an underappreciated glorified housewife with the title of Luna slapped across it. Varian had become distant over the years then the straw that broke the camel's back was when she found out that he had been cheating with her best friend, devastation claimed her. She demanded for a divorce and as if to punish her he made sure she was left with nothing more than the clothes on her back. One night she disappeared with her twins, and years passed. Varian came face-to-face with her again. The only woman who could cure a plague unlike any seen in a hundred years. He tried to win her back but now saw that their twins was calling another man ‘Daddy’

Brittany is just looking for a sperm donor. 'Yung kayang mag bigay sa kanya ng isang maganda lahi. But, everything was messed up when her boss Jonathan Montejo offered his own sperm. A never-ending journey of a woman. Who was craving for a child and ended up. Pursuing love she's not prepared for.