Funny Dark Jokes

"I am a monster, Miss Hart. You wouldn't want nor wish to see me..." He is mysterious and brilliant, wealthy and prominent, but no single soul has seen him in person. Well, no one should see him—that's one of his many rules. No one can touch him either; that's another rule. Except for me because I have broken every rule. Now I'm extremely drawn to him. His peculiarity is out of this world, and his beauty is beyond physical. But the Master has demons of his own and is being chased by his brutal past. Suddenly, we've become the reflection of each other's nightmares. I realize that the Master and I are not so different. Is this newly found bond just another uncertain fate that could deepen our wounds, or is it finally going to be our redemption?

Michael Carter is an undercover FBI agent on a mission to take down ruthless mafia king Fernando Ramírez—the man he believes killed his sister. But getting close to Fernando means playing a dangerous game, one where seduction and power blur the lines between enemy and lover. When Michael uncovers a shocking truth, his thirst for revenge turns into a fight for something far more dangerous—his own heart. Now, torn between duty and desire, he must decide: destroy the man he swore to take down or surrender to the one thing he never saw coming. Love has never been more lethal.

He moved so fast, my brain didn't seem to catch up until I was pressed against him, his one hand entwined in my hair as he forced me to look into his eyes - those dark rimmed, forest green eyes - while his other hand cupped my backside, lifting me so that I was forced to stand on my tiptoes. "I may not be your alpha, cara mia, but I am your owner and you will obey me until you pay back what you owe me," he said slowly, enunciating each word carefully as if he were fighting his wolf for control. "Until that day, you are mine and mine alone." --- Being owned by her own mate was not a scenario Eliana ever thought she'd be in. However, when Luca Castello won her in an auction, she found herself in a desperate situation - especially when he rejects her and demands that she works for him in order to pay off what she owes him. Will she be able to live her life under his command without succumbing to the attraction she feels for him, or will another claim her heart and body?

Seven years into our marriage, my husband, Lucas Thorne, is hailed as a legendary astronomer in the field of astronomy. It is no secret that he absolutely adores me, his wife. He always keeps a polite, distant demeanor with those around him. Even when his new assistant, Serena Cox, asks for his number, he coldly turns her down. In the year he proposed to me, he named a star "LAW", which was an acronym for "Lucas Adores Wilma". Since then, every asteroid he discovers is named with initials that hold a special significance only the two of us know. To others, they might just be scientific achievements. But to me, they are unspoken love letters. This goes on until this morning, when I stumble upon an unfamiliar phone. I unlock it easily with my middle name, thinking it's yet another quiet gesture of his love. But to my horror, I find a string of explicit messages between him and another woman. The person who was at the receiving end of those messages was none other than… Serena, his assistant.

Della's dad was her best friend and her hero, until she decides to marry a man that does not meet his family standards in any way. With his marriage, career, and side hustle all being threatened at the same time, he makes a desperate attempt to "fix" the situation and he winds up opening a magical can of worms, that leads to secrets being revealed, and all kinds of magical mischief, and even a little naughty fun.

BLURB Twelve years ago, Jeremiah Sokolov was betrayed and left to burn. Once the untouchable Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, now he rose from the ashes of his own destruction—scarred, ruthless, and unyielding. The man he was died in those flames, and what remains is a cold, vengeful king. The woman he swore to protect and make her his queen was the one who betrayed him, and he’s waited years to make her pay. He doesn’t just want her to suffer; he wants her to pay for every agonizing moment he had suffered. Now, vengeance drives him everyday into a dangerous game where obsession, power, and forbidden love collide. Nina has no memories of her past or who she was. There was only one thing in her life she'll do anything to protect, even make a deal with the devil himself. But her carefully crafted world shatters when her past collides with her present and she's kidnàppèd to pay for the sins she didn’t remember committing. And now, she's surrounded by men who'll test her every boundary, break her at every point and take pleasure in her tears. Lachlan Reed has always been Jeremiah’s shadow—his enforcer, his lover, his most loyal weapon. Tasked with infiltrating Nina’s life, Lachlan expects to unearth the lies Jeremiah warned him about. Instead, he discovers a woman who isn’t the cold, manipulative traitor she’s painted to be. Strong yet broken, fragile yet resilient, Nina awakens something in him he can’t suppress. Torn between protecting her and his loyalty to Jeremiah, he's in an impossible position, knowing his devotion to them both might destroy him. This is a twisted, dark MMF mafia romance where love is savage, hate burns deep, and survival comes at a deadly cost. MF-MM-MFM-Dark-Twisted-Betrayal-Amnesia-Revenge-NonCon-Mafia-Humiliation-Dominated-Controlling-Ruthless-Mystery-Thriller-READ-Trigger-Warnings

The billionaire playboy of Carli State Uni wants her, and he would do anything, hurt anyone you get her. Alecia had been warned by her parents to stay away from werewolvess especially the werewolves in her school, but when she goes to a werewolf party and gets noticed by an Alpha, Ryder she finds herself falling a little for him. But Ryder does not love her -- not as she loves him. He has more pleasure breaking her heart over and over again, till she is too broken to be fixed

DARK ROMANCE: A reckless dare reunites her with a handsome, daunting man, forging a love of discipline and passion. *** SHE WAS POWERLESS AGAINST HIS ULTIMATUM BECAUSE SHE WAS STUCK BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA-BETWEEN HIM AND THE LAST DARE GAME WHICH HE KNEW NOTHING ABOUT SHE PLAYED IT BECAUSE OF HER RECKLESS BEHAVIOUR- HER FIRE OF REBELLION HE IS DETERMINED TO EXTINGUISH THAT FIRE AFTER HER CARELESS MOVE ON HIM TO QUENCH A FIRE, YOU HAD TO BE SOMEWHAT CLOSE, HENCE HIS DECISION TO MARRY HER- AND HE WASN'T ASKING "You have until the end of today to give me a positive response or I will get you to marry me in the Mafia way." She gasped and her eyes were like saucers. "Mafia?" "I told you that you never really knew me. I was on my own when you came looking for trouble. Tonight, Elizabeth." SYNOPSIS: A dark game forces Zee, a reckless young woman into contacting the guy who took her virginity and begging him to marry her, but she neither expected his acceptance which keeps her in the game, nor his Mafia life as well as the tough love she is forced to receive at his hands.

ANTONIO She's mine. She has been mine for a long time, she hasn't just accepted it yet. But it doesn't matter, I'll make her understand, Freedom is overrated &My Cage is what she's made for. I'll protect her with my life, keep her safe from the world & make her demons bleed. I'll give her the world on a silver platter, I just want her to choose me. To be Trapped with me forever & ever despite everything I've done, because one thing I'll never do was to let her walk away from me. She's the one who battered down my walls & made my heart beat for her. Now I'll go to any lengths, do anything & everything to keep her by my side even though in the end she might hate me for it. I'll be the devil, monster & villain, only for her. ERICA I never thought doing the right thing would hurt so much, but it did. The moment I left his side, the man who hurt me, I felt nothing but pain. My heart longed for the man who was obsessed with keeping me safe even though he killed men without batting an eye. And against everything, I wanted to unravel his deep dark secrets & love him in places he was hurt. No matter how much I fought, I was his. I belonged to him in every way that could be possible. He made it so. To be honest, I never had a chance, he was playing for the win & I lost. Maybe I was right to think that I could never have the happily ever after, & he wasn't giving me one. Because his love was all Dark & Twisted. (This's the second book of DuoSeries.Readers are advised to read First book-'CAGED-A Dark Billionaire Captive Romance'before this book.) #RevengeSteamy #DominantBDSM

There were so many rumours about her; rumours people could only say in whispers. Jerika Krester was an idol to many, and a pain to some. Being super wealthy and also the first female Alpha of her time, she was regarded with so much fear and respect. Many adored her. Her beauty was too perfect, they doubted she was human. Successful men that could get her the world, chased after her and were ready to worship her feet. But Jerika wanted none of them. Her heart was too rigid, she didn't know what it felt like to love and be loved. She didn't want to feel it. To the world out there, she was super rich and had a perfect life, but Jerika alone knew her demons. And those demons became worst when she met him... His name is Lennox Harrington. He's the son of a late billionaire who returned to take over his father's company. He disliked the wolves and never wanted to have any connection with them - due to personal reasons. But what happens when he learns of Jerika Krester? What happens when he turns out to be what she never expected? The one thing she hated?